{"product_id":"xtreme-latin-isbn-9781592401048","title":"X-Treme Latin","description":"In staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand.\u003cp\u003eBeard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In \u003ci\u003eX-Treme Latin\u003c\/i\u003e he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWith dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, \u003ci\u003eX-Treme Latin\u003c\/i\u003e is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, \u003ci\u003e“Celebremus!”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eX-Treme Latin\u003cb\u003eI. Beginning Latin\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Little Story\u003cbr\u003eLatin Aptitude Test\u003cbr\u003eRomulus and Remus Jokes\u003cbr\u003eThe Legion of Superheroes\u003cbr\u003eT-Shirt Slogans\u003cbr\u003eBumper Stickers\u003cbr\u003eReality TV\u003cbr\u003eHardball Talk Shows\u003cbr\u003eUltimate Sports\u003cbr\u003eTrash Talk in the Colosseum\u003cbr\u003eSpring Break\u003cbr\u003eCountry Music Favorites\u003cbr\u003eChilling Out\u003cbr\u003eGraffiti\u003cbr\u003eRoad Rage\u003cbr\u003eAir Rage\u003cbr\u003eWarning Labels\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eII. Intermediate Latin\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCaesar's PowerPoint Presentation\u003cbr\u003eTop 10 Reasons to Live in the Time of the Caesars\u003cbr\u003eThat Old-Time Religion\u003cbr\u003eMob Banter\u003cbr\u003eNew Age Discourse\u003cbr\u003eHollywood Latin\u003cbr\u003eSushi Bar Chitchat\u003cbr\u003eComputer Language\u003cbr\u003eCar Talk\u003cbr\u003eB.S.\u003cbr\u003eSmall Talk during a Colonoscopy\u003cbr\u003eMedical Confab\u003cbr\u003eHomeland Security\u003cbr\u003eUseful Phrases for Barbarian Evildoers\u003cbr\u003eGame Boy Chatter\u003cbr\u003eModern Vatican Latin\u003cbr\u003eLearned Latin for Lovers\u003cbr\u003eClassical Kiss-offs\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eIII. Advanced Latin\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUseful Syntax\u003cbr\u003eYou Know You May Be a Roman If...\u003cbr\u003eRestaurant 'Tude\u003cbr\u003eWinespeak\u003cbr\u003eThe Bestseller List\u003cbr\u003eLatin for Trekkies\u003cbr\u003eAttack Ads\u003cbr\u003eBusiness Latin\u003cbr\u003eFurat Emptor\u003cbr\u003eJury Duty\u003cbr\u003eStealth Latin\u003cbr\u003eStealth Latin for Golfers\u003cbr\u003eBad Latin, the Dirty Dozen\u003c\/p\u003eHenry Beard founded the \u003cb\u003eNational Lampoon\u003c\/b\u003e along with Doug Kenney and Rob Hoffmann. Prior to National Lampoon, Beard collaborated with Kenney at the Harvard Lampoon during the late 1960s, producing nationally distributed parodies of \u003cb\u003eLife\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eTime\u003c\/b\u003e magazines and a book-length parody of \u003cb\u003eThe Lord of the Rings\u003c\/b\u003e called \u003cb\u003eBored of the Rings\u003c\/b\u003e.  Since leaving \u003cb\u003eNational Lampoon\u003c\/b\u003e, Beard has authored and co-authored over 30 humor books.Preface\u003cbr\u003ePraefatio\u003cbr\u003epry-FAH-tih-oh\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eItís often said that Latin is a dead language\u003cbr\u003eLingua Latina saepe dicitur mortua esse\u003cbr\u003eLEEN-gwah lah-TEE-nah SIGH-pay DEE-kih-tuhr MOHR-too-ah EHS-she\u003cbr\u003eBaloney! \u003cbr\u003eNugas! \u003cbr\u003eNOO-gahss! \u003cbr\u003eItís just been taking a long nap\u003cbr\u003eModum iam pridem meridiatur\u003cbr\u003eMOH-duhm yahm PREE-dehm meh-ree-dih-AH-tuhr\u003cbr\u003eAnd itís been talking a lot in its sleep\u003cbr\u003eIam diu autem multa verba facit dormiens\u003cbr\u003eYahm DIH-ooh OW-tehm MOOL-tah WEHR-bah FAH-kiht DOHR-mih-ehns\u003cbr\u003eIn fact, you canít get it to shut up\u003cbr\u003eRe vera, non potes eam in silentium redigere\u003cbr\u003eRay WAY-rah nohn POH-tess EH-ahm ihn sih-LAYN-tih-uhm reh-DIHG-eh-reh\u003cbr\u003eLook aroundóLatin is all over the place, like a cheap toga\u003cbr\u003eCircumspiceóLingua Latina se pandit ubique tanquam toga vilis\u003cbr\u003eKEER-kuhm-spih-kehóLEEN-gwah lah-TEE-nah say PAHN-diht ooh-BEE-kweh TAHN-kwaum TOH-gah WIH-liss\u003cbr\u003eLawyers use it to screw you\u003cbr\u003eIurisperiti ea utuntur ut te defraudent\u003cbr\u003eYoo-riss-peh-REE-tee EH-ah uh-TOON-tuhr uht tay deh-FROW-dehnt\u003cbr\u003eDoctors use it to scare you shitless\u003cbr\u003eMedici hac lingua utuntur ut alvum evacues ex metu\u003cbr\u003eMEH-dih-kee hock LEEN-gwah uh-TOON-tuhr uht AHL-wuhm ay-WAH-koo-ays eks MEH-tooh\u003cbr\u003ePoliticians use it to hide their tracks while they rob you blind\u003cbr\u003eMagistratus ea utuntur ad operienda vestigia cum te despoliant\u003cbr\u003eMah-gihs-TRAH-toohs EH-ah uh-TOON-tuhr ahd oh-pehr-ih-AYN-dah wehs-TEE-gih-ah kuhm tay deh-SPOH-lih-ahnt\u003cbr\u003ePriests use it to weasel their way out when they get caught playing hide-the-sausage with the altar boys\u003cbr\u003eSacerdotes in stupro cum acolytis deprehensi ea utuntur ut se criminibus absolvent\u003cbr\u003eSah-kehr-DOH-tays ihn STOOP-roh kuhm ah-koh-LEE-teese day-preh-HAYN-see EH-ah uh-TOON-tuhr uht say krih-MIHN-ih-buhss ahb-SOHL-wahnt\u003cbr\u003eEven garden supply stores use it to get you to buy overpriced, short-lived houseplantsEtiam venditores rerum hortensium ea utuntur ad persuadendum tibi ut emas maximo pretio plantas vitae brevis\u003cbr\u003eEH-tih-ahm wehn-dih-TOHR-ace RAY-ruhm hohr-TAYN-sih-uhm EH-ah uh-TOON-tuhr ahd pehr-swah-DAYN-duhm TIH-bee uht EH-mahs MAHK-sih-moh PREH-tih-oh PLAHN-tahs WEE-tye BREH-wihss\u003cbr\u003eThe fact is, for too long these dirtbags have had a monopoly on this mighty tongueDiutius quidem haec propudia monopolio huius magnifici sermonis fruuntur\u003cbr\u003eDih-OO-tih-uhs KWIH-dehm hike proh-POOH-dih-ah moh-noh-POH-lih-oh HOO-eeh-uhss mahg-NIH-fih-kee sehr-MOH-nihss frooh-OON-tuhr\u003cbr\u003eBut now, thanks to this little book, you too can tap the awsome power of Latin to dismay the ignorant multitudes\u003cbr\u003eNunc vero, huius libelli gratia, tu quoque potentia reverenda linguae Latinae uti potes ad indoctum vulgus consternandum\u003cbr\u003eNuhnk WAY-roh, HOO-eeh-uhss lih-BEHL-lee GRAH-tih-ah, too KWOH-kweh poh-TAYN-tih-ah reh-weh-RAYN-dah LEEN-gwigh LAH-tih-nigh OO-tee POH-tehss ahd ihn-DOHK-tuhm WUHL-guhs kohn-stehr-NAHN-duhm\u003cbr\u003eAnd best of all, youíll be able to insult and abuse one and all in perfect safety, using a language that everyone respects but practically no one understands\u003cbr\u003eAtque haec est optima ratio omnium: maledicere cunctis hominibus et contumeliam imponere satis impune poteris verbis augustis quae cum omnes magno aestimant, tum nemo ferme intellegit\u003cbr\u003eAHT-kweh hike ehst OHP-tih-mah RAH-tih-oh OHM-nih-uhm: mah-leh-DEEK-eh-reh KOONK-tees hoh-MIHN-ih-buhss eht kohn-tuh-MAY-lih-ahm ihm-POH-neh-reh SAH-tihss ihm-POO-neh poh-TEH-rihss WAYR-beese ow-GOOS-teese kwy kuhm OHM-nays MAHG-noh EYE-stih-mahnt tuhm NEH-mo FAYR-meh ihn-TEHL-leh-giht\u003cbr\u003eAnd as you pepper your speech with catapult-powered put-downs, remember the immortal words of Maximus as he signaled the attack in Pannonia\u003cbr\u003eItaque cum spargis orationem tuam praepotentibus opprobriis, memento verborum immortalium quae Maximus fecit signum dans in Pannonia: \u003cbr\u003eIh-TAH-kweh kuhm SPAHR-ghiss oh-rah-tih-OH-nehm TOO-ahm prigh-poh-TAYN-tih-buhss ohp-PROH-brih-eehs, meh-MEHN-toh wayr-BOH-ruhm ihm-mohr-TAH-lih-uhm kwigh MAHK-sih-muhss FAY-kiht SIHG-nuhm dahns ihn Pahn-NOH-nih-ah: \u003cbr\u003eUnleash hell! \u003cbr\u003eSolve lora infernis! \u003cbr\u003eSOHL-weh LOH-rah ihn-FEHR-nihss! \u003cbr\u003eAnd have a nice day! \u003cbr\u003eEt futue te ipsum! \u003cbr\u003eEht FUH-too-eh tay IHP-suhm\u003cbr\u003eLatin Terms in Modern English\u003cbr\u003eLegal Latin\u003cbr\u003eLatin word or phraseEnglish meaning\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMedical Latin\u003cbr\u003eLatin word or phraseEnglish meaning\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePolitical Latin\u003cbr\u003eLatin word or phraseEnglish meaning\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEcclesiastical Latin\u003cbr\u003eLatin word or phraseEnglish meaning\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBotanical Latin\u003cbr\u003eLatin word or phraseEnglish meaning\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBasic Latin Pronunciation Guide\u003cbr\u003eVowels\u003cbr\u003eaif long, as in ìblahî; if short, as in ìrub-a-dubî \u003cbr\u003eeif long, as in ìolÈî; if short as in ìfehî \u003cbr\u003eiif long, as in ì ízineî; if short as in ìzitî \u003cbr\u003eoif long, as in ìdíohî; if short as in ìnotî \u003cbr\u003euif long, as in ìdudeî; if short as in ìwassupî \u003cbr\u003eThere is really no simple way to tell if a vowel is long or short, but if the word is shortóone syllableótreat the vowel as short. The last syllable of verb endings are almost always short. If a, i, o, or u, come at the end of a word, theyíre long; if e comes at the end of a word, itís short. If a vowel is followed by two consonants, itís long. For other situations, pronuntia utrolibet modo! (wing it!) \u003cbr\u003eDipthongs\u003cbr\u003eaeas in ìThaiî \u003cbr\u003eauas in ìouchî \u003cbr\u003eeias in ìheyî \u003cbr\u003eeuas in ìhey, youî \u003cbr\u003eoeas in ìgoyî \u003cbr\u003euias in ìptuiî \u003cbr\u003eConsonants\u003cbr\u003eb, d, f, h, l, m, n, and p are the same as in English. So are k and z, which are rare in Latin anyway. j, w, and the consonant y donít exist in Latin. \u003cbr\u003ec, chalways ìk.î Thatís a KIGH-sahr salad you ordered. You want ANN-koh-veese with that? \u003cbr\u003eg, gnalways ìguh.î The Romans were fighting the GUHR-mahns, not the JUR-mahns, and when they gave the signal to attack, it was a SIHG-nuhm (trumpet blast) not a SEE-nuhm (large bowl). \u003cbr\u003eialways ìyuh.î Itís thanks to YOO-lih-uhss (not JOO-lee-yuss) that we celebrate the fourth of July instead of the fourth of Quinctil. \u003cbr\u003eryou can rrroll your rís even if theyírrre the last letterrr of a worrrrd. \u003cbr\u003esalways ìsss.î The Roman fanss (not fanz) were animalss (not animalz). \u003cbr\u003et, thalways ìteh.î Teh-hey teh-rew teh-hings at eak ot-teh-her during teh-he nah-tih-oh-nahl (not nashunal) ant-hem (not anthum). \u003cbr\u003evalways ìw.î The wolcano that waporized Pompeii was Weh-SOO-wee-uhss. \u003cbr\u003eThere are no silent letters in Latinóevery vowel (unless itís part of a two-syllable dipthong) and every consonant is always pronounced fully, and often separately. Of course, there are also no actual Romans around to give you the stink-eye when you mess up.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLingua Latina Tironibus\u003cbr\u003eBeginning Latin\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNarratiunculaó\u003cbr\u003eA Little Story\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePuellae filiae agricolarum sunt\u003cbr\u003eThe girls are the daughters of the farmers\u003cbr\u003ePuellae pulchrae sunt\u003cbr\u003eThe girls are pretty\u003cbr\u003ePuellae nautas in via spectant\u003cbr\u003eThe girls see the sailors in the street\u003cbr\u003eNautae pulchri sunt\u003cbr\u003eThe sailors are hunks\u003cbr\u003ePuellae nautas salutant\u003cbr\u003eThe girls say hello to the sailors\u003cbr\u003eO malam fortunam! Nautae male mares sunt\u003cbr\u003eToo bad! The sailors are homos\u003cbr\u003eNautae ad puellas digitos impudicos porrigunt\u003cbr\u003eThe sailors give the girls the finger\u003cbr\u003ePuellae nautas appellant\u003cbr\u003eThe girls call out to the sailors\u003cbr\u003eìSperamus naviculam misellam vestram ad scopulum adlisam iri summersumî \u003cbr\u003eìWe hope your stupid boat hits a rock and sinksî \u003cbr\u003ePuellae in forum descendere destinant et ibi mercimonium furari\u003cbr\u003eThe girls decide to go down to the mall and shoplift some stuff\u003cbr\u003eOmnes paucis annis prosedae erunt\u003cbr\u003eIn a few years they will all be hookers","brand":"Avery","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46303742918885,"sku":"NP9781592401048","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781592401048.jpg?v=1767744649","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/xtreme-latin-isbn-9781592401048","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}