Why Couples Fight

Bestselling author and relationship expert, Mira Kirshenbaum examines power dynamics in relationships and teaches couples her three-step method for ending their power struggles and finding their way back to love.

How do two well-meaning people who genuinely care about each other end up in a damaged, unsatisfying relationship?

Every couple faces conflict and often the root of the problem is how we're not getting our needs met. Initially, we will try to remedy it with reasonable requests--or hints--and a kind tone. But when that fails, we feel disempowered, which leads to sighs, eye rolls, silences, subtle put-downs, insults, and even threats. These are power moves. And while we often engage in power moves unintentionally, the result is the same: our partner feels disempowered and will try to re-empower themselves. Thus the continuous, endlessly destructive dynamic takes hold.

Relationship expert Mira Kirshenbaum, bestselling author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, reveals a better way with her three-step method for conflict-free problem solving. By recognizing each partner's power moves, we can instead find mutually satisfying ways to heal our hurts and meet each other's needs.

Non-judgmental, compassionate, and wise, this is an indispensable guide to help couples end the negative cycle and get back to the loving understanding that brought them together in the first place.Mira Kirshenbaum is the bestselling author of twelve books--including the influential Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay--which have been translated into more than twenty languages. A two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award, Mira is co-founder of The Chestnut Hill Institute, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families, and individuals. She has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. She has appeared on CNN, 20/20, Today, and CBS' Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in O magazine, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping.