What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness

A sly send-up of the successful What Would Jesus Do? books, here is a satisfyingly mean light-hearted approach to business success—the Machiavellian way.

Machiavellians may not get to heaven, but on earth they have a definite edge on the competition. In this pithy and discretely vicious guide, Stanley Bing shows how the Florentine master statesman and political thinker would handle today’s myriad corporate challenges, seize the future by the throat, and make it cough up money, power, and superior office space. So, what exactly would Machiavelli do?

• He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others.
• He would be in love with his destiny.
• He would, for the most part, be a paranoid freak.
• He would always be at war.
• He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies.
• He would have a couple of good friends, too.
• He would acquire his neighbor.
• He would think BIG.
• He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes.
• And much, much more.

More than a road map to success, this hands-on guide will help anyone get what they want, whether or not they deserve it.

What Would Machiavelli Do?

• He would feast on other people's discord
• He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand either
• He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry
• He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward
• He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control
• He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

"A hilarious guide to succeeding in business." - Don Imus

"The ultimate guide to corporate backstabbing." - Entertainment Weekly

"In his amusing book, Stanley Bing brings The Prince into the present." - The New Yorker

"With sly humor, Bing offers alternative strategies to conquering any industry provided you are willing to forsake sentiment, human decency, and if need be, close family members." - Time

"Tongue practically punctures cheek in What Would Machiavelli Do? . . . Outrageous." - New York Times

"Nobody pricks corporate balloons better than Stanley Bing." - New York Post