What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?

Helpful, inspiring guide for mothers seeking to flourish and succeed after their kids grow up

In What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom), renowned parenting influencer Karen Johnson provides a fun, easy-to-understand, and inspiring guide for mothers currently experiencing an empty nest, or who see one on the horizon, and are looking to lead their best, most fulfilling lives and feel comfortable that they're not alone in their struggles. This book draws upon stories and experiences from Johnson and mothers around her, helping readers seek out new passions, including new career paths, to avoid feeling as if they are solely defined by motherhood.

In this book, Johnson explores topics including:

• Taking risks, putting yourself out there, getting stronger mentally and physically, and fostering positive relationships
• Navigating the wondrously weird world of perimenopause and aging bodies with confidence, knowledge, and grace
• Working through the very real emotions of guilt, anxiety, failure, and shame that often accompany this transitory period in mothers' lives

What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom) earns a well deserved spot on the bookshelves of all mothers seeking to develop individualism, mindfulness, and genuine feelings of contentment and happiness as they turn the page to the next chapter of their lives.

Prologue ix

Chapter 1: What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? 1

Chapter 2: Guilt 11

Chapter 3: You Can’t Do It All, So Quit Trying 17

Chapter 4: When Mothers Are Ghosts 25

Chapter 5: How Much Are SAHMs Actually Worth? 29

Chapter 6: The Default Parenting Ferris Wheel 35

Chapter 7: That Day I Hiked 14 Miles and Braced for a Hip Replacement (But Also Realized Something about Me as a Mom) 41

Chapter 8: “Hi, I’m Sweating!” (WTF Is Happening to My Body?) 49

Chapter 9: On Aging and Beauty Culture (So, I Guess I Have a Turkey Neck Now…? Whatever) 57

Chapter 10: On Friendships 63

Chapter 11: The Comparison Trap 69

Chapter 12: The Water Challenge (and How We Need to Reframe “Success”) 77

Chapter 13: Get Thee to a Therapist! 81

Chapter 14: Of Course We’re Pissed Off 89

Chapter 15: Anxiety, Perfectionism, + a Crippling Fear of Failure = a Toxic Cocktail that Does Not Mix with Motherhood 95

Chapter 16: Learning to Get Out of My Own Way 103

Chapter 17: Nobody Talks About the Loneliness 109

Chapter 18: How Resentment and the “Who Has It Harder” Game Nearly Killed My Marriage, and the Daily Phone Call That Probably Saved It 119

Chapter 19: Lessons for My Kids (and for Myself) as We All Grow Up 127

Chapter 20: The Death of Martyrdom 135

Chapter 21: “Everything Is Fine,” “I Don’t Care What Other People Think,” and Other Lies We Tell 141

Chapter 22: How I “Lost Myself” but Found the Pieces and Put Myself Back Together 151

Chapter 23: How Did I Get Here? (The Story of Our Gladiator Turtles, Medically Fragile Dog, and One Dead Plant) 159

Chapter 24: The Many Forms of Motherhood Grief 165

Chapter 25: Always Awkward, Never Cool 171

Chapter 26: Halfway There (and Livin’ on a Prayer) 177

Chapter 27: Make Me a Promise 185

Chapter 28: I’m a Total Fraud (by the Way) 193

Chapter 29: We Can Do Hard Things (and Let Me Tell You How I Know) 197

Chapter 30: So, What AM I Going to Be When They Grow Up? 203

Epilogue 207

Acknowledgments 209

About the Author 211

Karen Johnson is known on social media as The 21st Century SAHM. A former high school English teacher, she began telling her stories of motherhood when she was elbow-deep in the trenches of toddlerhood. She now writes for some of the largest parenting websites in the world.

Wisdom for mothers seeking to rediscover themselves after their kids become adults

One moment, your kids are tiny toddlers, and before you know it, they’re all grown up! If you’re finding yourself asking “What now?”, this book is just what you need.

What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? is a cathartic and practical guide on how to rediscover yourself, set and achieve new goals, free yourself of negative emotions and thought patterns, and learn to love yourself and your changing body. Drawing on stories from her own life and those of inspiring mothers around her, Karen Johnson reveals everything she’s learned in her parenting journey to help moms of adult kids and soon-to-be empty nesters renew their sense of purpose and confidently tackle a fresh chapter in their lives.

“What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? is the anthem for a generation of women who feel torn between the joys of staying at home with our kids and the languish of leaving careers and passions behind to do it. With humor, authenticity and candor, Johnson makes us feel seen, empowers us to take bold steps to move forward, and offers hope for the changes coming ahead.”
—WHITNEY FLEMING, author, You’re Not a Failure: My Teen Doesn’t Like Me Either and co-owner, Parenting Teens & Tweens

Praise for What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?

“What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? is the anthem for a generation of women who feel torn between the joys of staying at home with our kids and the languish of leaving careers and passions behind to do it. With humor, authenticity and candor, Johnson makes us feel seen, empowers us to take bold steps to move forward, and offers hope for the changes coming ahead. This book is the What to Expect When You’re Expecting for stay-at-home moms facing midlife—and a gift to all of us trying to figure out who we want to become next.”

—Whitney Fleming, author, You're Not a Failure: My Teen Doesn’t Like Me Either and co-owner, Parenting Teens & Tweens

“This book is for every mom who’s spent years making sacrifices for their kids, and now worries about what happens when those years come to an end…for every mom who is still waiting for “someday” when she’ll finally get everything done…for every mom who wonders if anyone truly sees her. With her trademark wit and some very profound insights, Karen Johnson is the mom friend everyone needs to get through the trials that come with the territory.”

—Rita Templeton, Parenting Editor, SheKnows; former Deputy Editor of Scary Mommy

“Motherhood, marriage, sacrifice…the whole wad of adulting is in Karen Johnson’s book, and it’s exactly what you need to feel less alone.”

—Clint Edwards, bestselling author of Fatherish and Breaking Dad

“As a middle-aged mother navigating the ever-evolving landscape of motherhood as my son grows up, I found myself deeply resonating with Karen’s stories and insights. She beautifully explores the crossroads of motherhood and middle age, offering valuable guidance on how to navigate this new chapter—a time of rediscovery and reinvention beyond the role of ‘snack-getter’.”

—Tara Clark, founder, Modern Mom Probs