The Power of Understanding Yourself

Discover your true self and align your life journey around your core beliefs, values and perspective.

Designed as both a companion piece to the author's previous book, The Power of Understanding People, and a stand-alone work, The Power of Understanding Yourself provides readers with a blueprint for examining their true purpose and approach to life and a map for achieving greater personal happiness, professional success and self-awareness.

It explores personal attributes related to interactive style, diving deeper into the concepts from the author's previous book, provides exercises for exploring how to connect your current life status to a desired future state and encourages readers to engage in a deep exploration of their core values, beliefs, mission and vision to become their best self.

• Find the key to self-discovery and personal development

• Uncover your true purpose

• Use helpful exercises to reveal the best you

• Develop strategies to maximize your potential

The Power of Understanding Yourself is an empowering tool to help you find your best possible self and flourish.

Preface xi

Acknowledgments xv

Part One: The Grape

Chapter 1: Metacognition: The Process of Evaluating “The Juice” 3

Metacognition versus Self-Awareness 4

Thinking About Our Thoughts 5

Choosing to Extract Me 8

Your Cognitive Schemas Make You Unique 9

Chapter 2: Locus of Control: You Are the Winemaker 13

Delusions, Control, and Disappointment 14

Finding Your Locus of Control 16

Chapter 3: Alignment: From Vine to Bottle 23

Inputs and Outputs 24

Horizontal Alignment 26

Chapter 4: Core Ideology: The Crush of Juice,Stems, Skins, and Seeds 31

Examining Inputs 34

Assessing Your Desired Outputs 36

Identifying Your Core Ideology 42

Vertical Alignment 47

Part Two: The Style

Chapter 5: What’s My Style? Shades of Me 51

Understanding Interactive Style 55

Chapter 6: Experts: It’s About the Process for Me 63

Meeting the Expert 64

The Behavioral Cues (or lack thereof) of Experts 65

An Expert Is a Wine’s Acidity 67

Chapter 7: Romantics: It’s About the People for Me 71

Meeting the Romantic 72

Putting Others’ Happiness before Your Own 73

Reframing Childhood Trials 74

A Romantic Is a Wine’s Sweetness 76

Chapter 8: Masterminds: It’s About the Possibilities for Me 79

Meeting the Mastermind 80

Breaking the Rule in Order to Follow the Rule 82

A Mastermind Is a Wine’s Fruit 86

Chapter 9: Warriors: It’s About the Pace and the Point for Me 89

Meeting the Warrior 90

No Room for Interesting Details 92

A Warrior Is a Wine’s Tannin 94

Part Three: The Balance

Chapter 10: Punching Down the Cap: The Pursuit of Balance 99

Finding the Right Balance 100

The Good and Bad of Stress 103

Chapter 11: Punching Down the Expert Style Influence on Me 107

Complementary Versus Contrasting Balance 110

An Expert with a Secondary Romantic (lowest score A column, next-lowest score B column) 111

An Expert with a Secondary Mastermind (lowest score A column, next-lowest score C column) 115

An Expert with a Secondary Warrior (lowest score A column, next-lowest score D column) 119

Extracting Me Worksheet 121

Chapter 12: Punching Down the Romantic Style Influence on Me 123

A Romantic with a Secondary Expert (lowest score B column, second-lowest score A column) 126

A Romantic with a Secondary Mastermind (lowest score B column, second-lowest score C column) 128

A Romantic with a Secondary Warrior (lowest score B column, second-lowest score D column) 131

Extracting Me Worksheet 134

Chapter 13: Punching Down the Mastermind Style Influence on Me 135

A Mastermind with a Secondary Expert (lowest score C column, next-lowest score A column) 138

A Mastermind with a Secondary Romantic (lowest score C column, next-lowest score B column) 142

A Mastermind with a Secondary Warrior (lowest score C column, next-lowest score D column) 143

Extracting Me Worksheet 147

Chapter 14: Punching Down the Warrior Style Influence on Me 149

A Warrior with a Secondary Expert (lowest score D column, next-lowest score A column) 152

A Warrior with a Secondary Romantic (lowest score D column, next-lowest score B column) 154

A Warrior with a Secondary Mastermind (lowest score D column, next-lowest score C column) 157

Extracting Me Worksheet 159

Chapter 15: An Example of Punching Down Your Own Style 161

Analyzing My Assessment 163

Part Four: The Vintage

Chapter 16: Veraison: The Evolution of Me 171

A Shift in Perspective 174

Holy !* 176

Identifying Your Veraison 180

Chapter 17: Age-Worthy: Maintaining the Best Me 183

Becoming Better with Age 184

An Endless Appetite for Learning 185

Civil Conversations for Understanding Different Perspectives 189

Aging Well Physically 193

A Plan for Greater Achievement 195

Epilogue: Uncorking Me 197

Extracting Me Worksheet 199

About the Author 209

Index 211

DAVE MITCHELL is an international speaker, trainer, consultant, writer, sommelier and entrepreneur who has been delighting audiences all over the world with his entertaining style, powerful stories and "laugh and learn" philosophy. Since founding the Leadership Difference, Inc. in 1995, over 350,000 people have attended Dave's "enter-TRAIN-ment" seminars on topics that include leadership, customer service, selling skills, wine education and personal performance enhancement. He has been named Best Speaker of the Year from several organizations and Eagles Talent Speakers Bureau named Dave one of the top 10 best business speakers. Dave is the author of The Power of Understanding People from Wiley.

Often the reason we struggle with others is that we haven't taken the time to understand ourselves. Without relying on generic affirmations, life hacks, or a one-size fits all step-by-step approach, The Power of Understanding Yourself explores a proven process that encourages the reader to achieve a deeper understanding of why you behave the way you do and offers a path for changing unwanted behaviors in order to live a more rewarding life.

In this life-changing and highly entertaining book, author Dave Mitchell offers an in-depth exploration of the metacognition process using humorous stories, high impact exercises and entertaining analogies from winemaking. Simply defined, metacognition is thinking about how you think and differs from mere self-awareness which most of us possess to one degree or another. Self-awareness is the attribute of knowing how you behave but not why you exhibit certain behaviors. The metacognition approach can help anyone examine their behaviors, explore what formed their behaviors, question if these behaviors are useful, and consider how they can be changed if they are barriers to reaching your life's promise.

We all become the individuals we are because of our experiences. We spend our formative years doing, seeing, hearing and learning things and developing cognitive schemas that allow us to make sense of our experiences, determine how to behave, and process future events. The individual, unique Me is formed by both our experiences and the process by which we create the cognitive schemas to define, process, and respond to them. Just as wine is a product of both the grapes and the winemaker's efforts, we are the product of our experiences and the way we process them.

The Power of Understanding Yourself is a hands-on guide filled with reflections and exercises that explain how to put the metacognitive process into action. You will uncover the elements of your essence, learn how to use your unique gift, and determine if you have truly found Me. This remarkable process also gives insight into what may be holding you back and helps to discover things about yourself that you may not be using to their full potential. You will learn how to convert your experiences into your best Me.

Once you tap into the metacognitive process, you can return to the book's reflections and exercises again and again. You can continue to take stock of your life, evolve, and grow. The power of understanding yourself is not a moment in time, but an amazing process spanning your entire life.

Praise for THE POWER OF understanding YOURSELF

"Dave's understanding of human behavior is only outmatched by his personality, charm, wisdom and wit.??His ability to connect with individuals, teams and organizations, while truly entertaining them, makes his concepts even more impactful.??Dave cuts to the soul and spirit of the human experience in today's complex business world and immediately connects with his audience. I highly recommend Dave as a speaker, as well as his books, for any individual or group looking to improve the results they aspire to achieve." —Brian Bergdoll, svp of sales, BMC Software

"Through his training and writing, Dave Mitchell speaks practically and powerfully about the interior work of cultivating one's best self. His offering, firmly grounded in social science, and his comedic approach makes the sometimes-daunting work of personal development more accessible. Dave's unique blend of storytelling and educating creates lasting benefits for individuals and organizations. When you work with Dave, you learn, you laugh and you're inspired to do big work." —Elisabeth Sasser, executive vice president, The Sunrock Group, former adjunct professor, Duke University

"There is only one Dave Mitchell! Dave is a normal guy, with an extraordinary talent for communicating and a unique style of 'enter-training' his audience. Culture and communication are paramount for any successful organization, and Dave's books and programs will always be included in the toolkit I use to design and implement a successful team spirit. Dave is hilarious and insanely talented, and over the years has become one of my favorite humans!" —Brian Keesee, vice president and general manager, PCI Pharma Services

"During my career, I've managed organizations and sales forces in the Americas, Europe and India and Dave's training has been extremely valuable to me at every stop. Building cooperative and cohesive teams is not always easy, especially when they are generated through acquisitions, and Dave has helped me tremendously in these efforts. The principles of his training are universal and applicable across all cultures and businesses, which is a must for any successful global organization." —Stu Needleman, chief commercial officer, Piramal Pharma Solutions

"I have seen Dave's teaching allow people to better understand themselves, enabling the opportunity for good to happen in their lives and improve their relationships with others. Without question, Dave's ability to teach wisdom with humor was an important part of their journey. I continue to use what I learned in Dave's seminars and books." —Chris Rucker, chief operating officer, Jordan Health Service