{"product_id":"the-four-tendencies-isbn-9781524760915","title":"The Four Tendencies","description":"\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNEW YORK TIMES\u003c\/i\u003e BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of \u003ci\u003eBetter Than Before\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Project \u003c\/i\u003ecomes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e • \u003cb\u003eUpholders\u003c\/b\u003e meet outer and inner expectations readily. \u003ci\u003e“Discipline is my freedom.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e • \u003cb\u003eQuestioners\u003c\/b\u003e meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. \u003ci\u003e“If you convince me why, I’ll comply.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e • \u003cb\u003eObligers\u003c\/b\u003e (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. \u003ci\u003e“You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e • \u003cb\u003eRebels\u003c\/b\u003e (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. \u003ci\u003e“You can’t make me, and neither can I.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, \u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.“\u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e will immediately improve every area of your life—and I say this from personal experience. If you’ve been feeling stuck in your relationships, career, health, or self-confidence, understanding your Tendency and how to make it work for you is the game-changer you’ve been looking for.”\u003cbr\u003e —Melissa Hartwig (Upholder), author and cocreator of \u003ci\u003eThe Whole30\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"The path to happiness starts with your personality. In \u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e, Gretchen Rubin upends the conventional wisdom of one prescription fitting all people and offers readers a tailored path to better health, relationships and well-being. A remarkable read from one of the most practical storytellers on the planet.\"\u003cbr\u003e —Tom Rath (Questioner), author of \u003ci\u003eAre You Fully Charged?\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eStrengthsFinder 2.0\u003c\/i\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “This Rebel can’t help but agree with the crowd: you need to read \u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e! The online quiz is mega-popular for good reason, but the book will give you unexpected, lasting insights. You'll learn to make better decisions based on what works best for your specific personality profile—not what anyone else expects or demands.”\u003cbr\u003e —Chris Guillebeau (Rebel), author of \u003ci\u003eSide Hustle\u003c\/i\u003e and host of the podcast Side Hustle School\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “\u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e is a remarkably well-crafted and insightful book. Gretchen Rubin taught me why, as a Rebel, my expectations often clash with others’ expectations and helped me develop a more compassionate view. Better still, The Four Tendencies offers powerful steps that we can all take to have more constructive relationships with the people in our lives.”\u003cbr\u003e —Robert Sutton (Rebel), Stanford Professor and author of \u003ci\u003eThe Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “The greatest predictor of growth and happiness is actionable self-knowledge.  Gretchen Rubin gives you the tools to not only understand yourself and others, but what to do with that knowledge. Insightful, practical and crucial, \u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e will help you overcome the biggest impediments to your happiness and success.”\u003cbr\u003e —Shawn Achor (Upholder), author of \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Advantage\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eBefore Happiness\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “Gretchen Rubin has discovered a new framework for understanding ourselves and other people. When we know our Tendency, we can manage ourselves more effectively and reach our goals faster—and we can help others to do that, as well. As a researcher who has studied habits, addiction, and change for 20 years, I’m excited by the simplicity and power of \u003ci\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/i\u003e as a tool for anyone seeking to make his or her life better. I am implementing this in my clinical programs to help people understand their Tendencies so they can change behaviors such as stress and emotional eating.”\u003cbr\u003e —Judson Brewer, MD, PhD (Questioner), author of \u003ci\u003eThe Craving Mind\u003c\/i\u003e and associate professor in medicine and psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “Gretchen Rubin’s groundbreaking Four Tendencies framework is a simple yet powerful tool that helps us better recognize our own nature, harness its strengths, and counteract its weaknesses. With her trademark wit and insight, Gretchen gives us the tools to create the life we want, in a way that’s right\u003ci\u003e for us\u003c\/i\u003e. The surprising thing? Once you know about these four types, you see them everywhere.”\u003cbr\u003e —Susan David, PhD, (Upholder), cofounder of the Institute of Coaching and\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003eauthor of \u003ci\u003eEmotional Agility\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “If you want to change anything in your life, you need Gretchen Rubin. Her ideas are original, instinctive and revolutionary. Whether you want to get fitter, work smarter or be tidier, she shows you how to tweak your habits (almost) effortlessly. This Rebel sleeps better, deletes more email, is three stone lighter and forever in her debt.” \u003cbr\u003e —Viv Groskop (Rebel), journalist and comedian\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \"I love Gretchen Rubin and she helps me understand both myself and the people around me.\" \u003cbr\u003e —Cathy Rentzenbrink (Obliger), author of \u003ci\u003eThe Last Act of Love\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003eGretchen Rubin\u003c\/b\u003e is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster \u003ci\u003eNew York Times \u003c\/i\u003ebestsellers \u003ci\u003eOuter Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; Better Than Before; \u003c\/i\u003eand\u003ci\u003e The Happiness Project. \u003c\/i\u003eShe has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. On her top-ranking, award-winning podcast \u003ci\u003eHappier with Gretchen Rubin\u003c\/i\u003e, she explores happiness and good habits. She is also a CBS News contributor, providing weekly solutions for living a happier life. Gretchen Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized that she wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.\u003cb\u003e1\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Four Tendencies\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Origin of the Four Tendencies • How the Tendencies Weave Throughout Our Characters • Why It’s Helpful to Identify Our Own Tendency • Why It’s Helpful to Identify Others’ Tendencies\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI didn’t realize it at the time, but when I walked through the door of the Atlantic Grill restaurant one blustery winter afternoon, I was heading to one of the most significant conversations of my life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs I bit into my cheeseburger and my friend picked at her salad, she made a comment that would occupy my mind for years. In an offhand way, she mentioned, “I want to get myself in the habit of running, but I can’t, and it really bothers me.” Then she added, in a crucial observation, “When I was on the high school track team, I never missed track practice, so why can’t I go running now?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Why?” I echoed.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Well, you know, it’s so hard to make time for ourselves.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Hmmm,” I said.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe started talking about other things, but even after we’d said good-­bye, I couldn’t stop thinking about our exchange. She was the same person she’d been in high school, and she was aiming to do the same activity. She’d been able to go running in the past, but not now. Why? Was it her age, her motivation, her family situation, the location, team spirit, or something else?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe assumed that we all have trouble “making time for ourselves.” But actually I don’t have any trouble making time for myself. How were she and I different from each other?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI would spend the next few years trying to answer these questions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Origin of the Four Tendencies\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey say there are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don’t.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI’m definitely the first kind. My great interest is human nature, and I constantly search for patterns to identify what we do and why we do it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI’ve spent years studying happiness and habits, and it has become obvious to me that there’s no magic, one-­size-­fits-­all answer for building a happier, healthier, more productive life. Different strategies work for different people—­in fact, what works for one person may be the very opposite of what works for someone else. Some people are morning people; some are night people. Some do better when they abstain from a strong temptation; others, when they indulge in moderation. Some people love simplicity; some thrive in abundance.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd not only that. As I pondered my friend’s observation about her running habit, I sensed that deep below the “night people vs. morning people” sorts of differences, there existed some kind of bedrock distinction that shaped people’s natures—­something profound, but also bold and obvious—­that nevertheless eluded my vision.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo help figure out what I was missing, I posed a number of questions to readers of my website, including: “How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions?” “Do you observe traffic regulations—­why or why not?” “Would you ever sign up to take a class for fun?” As readers’ responses poured in, I saw that distinct patterns were threaded through the various answers. It was almost weird—­as though groups of people had agreed to answer from the same script.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor instance, about New Year’s resolutions, a subset of people gave virtually identical answers: “I’ll keep a resolution if it’s useful, but I won’t start on New Year’s Day, because January 1 is an arbitrary date.” They all used that word: “arbitrary.” I was intrigued by this specific word choice, because the arbitrariness of the January 1 date had never bothered me. Yet these people were all giving the same answer—­what did they have in common?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd many people answered, “I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore because I never manage to keep them—­I never make time for myself.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnother group said, “I never make resolutions because I don’t like to bind myself.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere was some meaningful design here, I knew it, but I just couldn’t quite see it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThen finally, after months of reflection, I had my eureka moment. As I sat at my desk in my home office, I happened to glance at my messy handwritten to-­do list—­and suddenly it hit me. The simple, decisive question was: “How do you respond to expectations?” I’d found it!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI’d discovered the key. I felt the same excitement that Archi­medes must have felt when he stepped out of his bath. I was sitting still, but my mind was racing forward with thoughts about expectations. I grasped at that moment that we all face two kinds of expectations:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e•outer expectations—­expectations others place on us, like meeting a work deadline\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e•inner expectations—­expectations we place on ourselves, like keeping a New Year’s resolution\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd here was my crucial insight: Depending on a person’s response to outer and inner expectations, that person falls into one of four distinct types:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUpholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eQuestioners question all expectations; they meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified, so in effect they respond only to inner expectations\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eObligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt was that simple. With just one single, straightforward question, all of humanity sorted itself into these categories.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow I understood why my friend had trouble forming the habit of running: She was an Obliger. When she’d had a team and a coach expecting her, she had no trouble showing up; when she faced her own inner expectations, she struggled. I understood those repetitious comments about New Year’s resolutions. And I understood much, much more.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Four Tendencies framework clarified the striking patterns of behavior I’d perceived, and I was able to make sense of what everyone else had seen—­but no one else had noticed.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen I mapped the complete system on a sheet of paper, in four symmetrical overlapping circles, my framework showed the elegance of a fern frond or a nautilus shell. I truly felt that I’d uncovered a law of nature: human nature.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOr maybe I’d created something more like a Muggle Sorting Hat.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnce I’d identified the framework, I worked to deepen my understanding. “The Strategy of the Four Tendencies” became the first chapter in Better Than Before, my book about habit change; I wrote about the Four Tendencies on my website, gretchenrubin.com; my cohost and sister, Elizabeth Craft, and I talked about the Four Tendencies on our weekly podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Every time I discussed the framework, readers and listeners responded.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMost people can identify their Tendency from a brief ­description, but for people who aren’t sure or who want their answers to be analyzed, I designed a quiz. Hundreds of thousands of people have taken the Four Tendencies Quiz, which appears in chapter 2 or at happiercast.com\/quiz. People’s answers to the quiz, as well as their open-­ended responses, gave me an additional trove of insights. (For one thing, I’ve noticed that people’s Tendencies influence their willingness to take the quiz. Questioners sometimes ask, “Why should I spend my time and effort taking this quiz?” and Rebels sometimes think, “You’re telling me to take this quiz? Well, I won’t do it.”)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo test my observations about the Four Tendencies, I decided to run a study of the framework among a nationally representative sample, to examine a geographically dispersed group of U.S. adults with a mix of gender, age, and household income.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe most important thing I discovered? The distribution of the Four Tendencies. At 41%, Obliger was the largest Tendency. Next came Questioner, at 24%. The Rebel Tendency had the fewest members, at 17%—­I’m surprised that the survey put the number that high—­and my own Tendency, the Upholder Tendency, was just slightly larger at 19%. The study also confirmed many of my observations about the Four Tendencies; for instance, when considering New Year’s resolutions, Upholders are most likely to make them; Rebels dislike them; Questioners make resolutions when the time seems right rather than waiting for an arbitrary date; and often Obligers give up making resolutions altogether because they’ve struggled in the past.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs I refined the framework, I even assigned a color to each Tendency, by using the model of a traffic light. Yellow represents Questioners, because just as a yellow light cautions us to “wait” to decide whether to proceed, Questioners always ask “Wait, why?” before meeting an expectation. Green represents Obligers, who readily “go ahead.” Red represents Rebels, who are most likely to “stop” or say no. Because there’s no fourth traffic-light color, I chose blue for Upholders—which seems fitting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe more that I’ve studied the Tendencies, the more I see their tremendous influence.#1 New York Times Bestselling Author of The Happiness Project","brand":"Harmony","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301819568357,"sku":"NP9781524760915","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781524760915.jpg?v=1767739414","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/the-four-tendencies-isbn-9781524760915","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}