{"product_id":"speaking-of-boys-isbn-9780345441485","title":"Speaking of Boys","description":"My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOur two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD\/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.\u003cb\u003eMichael Thompson\u003c\/b\u003e, PhD, is the author or co-author of eight books, including the bestselling \u003ci\u003eRaising Cain\u003c\/i\u003e. A consulting school psychologist and popular school speaker, he is also a former board member of the American Camp Association. The father of two, he lives in Arlington, Massachusetts, with his wife.\u003cb\u003eSpeaking of the Nature of Boys\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNew Mother of Baby Boy Looks to the Future\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eQ\u003c\/b\u003e: This may sound like a stupid question, but I am an expectant mother,\u003cbr\u003eand we know it will be a boy. I've never had any experience around little\u003cbr\u003eboys. I never had any brothers and my sisters never had boys. My only\u003cbr\u003eexperience is in seeing other people's little boys, and to be honest, they\u003cbr\u003elook like a handful. I'm just wondering if you have some simple (so I can\u003cbr\u003ekeep it in mind over the years!) advice for raising a son to stay out of\u003cbr\u003etrouble and be a good man?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eMGT\u003c\/b\u003e: First of all, congratulations! You are in for an adventure, a\u003cbr\u003elearning experience, and a lot of fun. All you need is a loving heart and\u003cbr\u003ean open mind. As for boys being a handful, all children are a handful! \u003cbr\u003eI have a friend who says, \"All human beings are more or less impossible.\" \u003cbr\u003eI think that is true (it certainly describes me). That's why we all need families who love us. As I have traveled around the country talking to parents about boys, I have had many\u003cbr\u003emothers come up to me to say, \"Take it from me, boys are easy. It is girls\u003cbr\u003ewho are tough!\" I have had just as many mothers testify that boys are so\u003cbr\u003ehard to read, so competitive, so mysterious, and so cruel.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhy do some mothers find boys difficult and others find them to be a\u003cbr\u003edelight? Certainly, being raised with brothers or having nephews is a\u003cbr\u003ehelpful experience, but I don't think that is the crucial element. I have\u003cbr\u003eknown some wonderful mothers of boys who were not raised in families with\u003cbr\u003ebrothers. To me the two things that I would wonder about in the mother of\u003cbr\u003ea boy are: (1) whether she likes men, and (2) whether she will be able to\u003cbr\u003eadapt to her baby's rhythms and temperament.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn some ways, you have to want the end product of boyhood in order to\u003cbr\u003eraise a son with a sense of full acceptance. He is going to turn into a\u003cbr\u003eman. As our son, Will, has grown up, from time to time my wife has said,\u003cbr\u003e\"It doesn't seem possible that he is going to grow up to be large and\u003cbr\u003ehairy.\" But he is, and I can see she is practicing in her mind,\u003cbr\u003etransforming this sweet, beautiful child into a large, bearded man and\u003cbr\u003estill recognizing him. Practice thinking about the man your son will\u003cbr\u003ebecome. Who have been the admirable men in your life? Did you love your\u003cbr\u003efather? Did your grandfather dote on you? Do you have a good relationship\u003cbr\u003ewith your husband? Think about what you have liked in men and how you\u003cbr\u003ewould like to see your son grow up to be like that. If you have a picture\u003cbr\u003ein your mind of the way you'd like him to be, it will help you to guide\u003cbr\u003ehim.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlease don't think about boys as a problem; don't brace yourself for their\u003cbr\u003eenergy or their competitiveness. Think about what your loving grandfather\u003cbr\u003emust have been like as a boy. Does your grandmother or mother have any\u003cbr\u003estories about him? Ask your husband about his boyhood. What was he like?\u003cbr\u003eWhat did he do? Ask your husband enough questions so you get beyond the\u003cbr\u003epolished family stories about his bringing the frog to the table or\u003cbr\u003ethrowing a football through the window. Families tend to hold on to\u003cbr\u003egender-stereotyped stories that do not really illuminate the nature of the\u003cbr\u003echild. Ask your husband how it \u003ci\u003ereally\u003c\/i\u003e was for him when he was a boy. What\u003cbr\u003escared him, what was he passionate about?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMay I suggest that you read books about boyhood? How about \u003ci\u003eAngela's Ashes\u003c\/i\u003e? You'll read it with new eyes, now that you have a son. It will teach you something about boy grief, boy endurance, and boy humor. Reread \u003ci\u003eTom\u003cbr\u003eSawyer\u003c\/i\u003e. Read some autobiographies of admirable men. It will be helpful to\u003cbr\u003ediscover that Mahatma Gandhi got into fights at school or the Dalai Lama\u003cbr\u003eand his brother were so boisterous and competitive that his brother was\u003cbr\u003esent away from the monastery.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOf course, you are going to be reading books to your son \u003cbr\u003eat night. The books that he loves will be an education for \u003cbr\u003eyou. He will identify with the angry Max in \u003ci\u003eWhere the Wild Things Are\u003c\/i\u003e, and he will admire the elephant, Horton, who steadfastly hatches the egg while\u003cbr\u003ebalanced on that little tree, and you will both marvel at the imagination\u003cbr\u003eof that boy fishing in McElligot's pool. You will see your son in all of\u003cbr\u003ethese characters, and you will be introduced to things you had never spent\u003cbr\u003emuch time thinking about, such as what occupies a boy's mind when he is\u003cbr\u003efishing. Reading to children is as much an education for parents as it is\u003cbr\u003efor children.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs for my second point, adapting to a child's temperament, that is the\u003cbr\u003ecrucial thing for parenting any child, boy or girl. You are going to have\u003cbr\u003eto get on your son's wavelength without his being able to tell you what\u003cbr\u003echannel he is broadcasting from. You will get that from the experience of knowing him as a baby, holding him, responding to his cries, calming him during a plane ride, and holding him back as he is about to run into the street. He will make you stretch your personality and your limits, and you will become more adaptable than you ever thought possible. That's parenting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor a mother to raise a boy means she gets as close as one can get to\u003cbr\u003ecrossing the lines of gender. She will see the world through her son's\u003cbr\u003eeyes, and the world won't look the same. Mothers get to be adored by their\u003cbr\u003esons, and that is really fun. She'll get to celebrate everything she has\u003cbr\u003eloved in men and help her son to become a good man. She will struggle with\u003cbr\u003eeverything she has found regrettable in men, and at moments she will\u003cbr\u003edespair and say, \"They're hopeless.\" It will be an amazing trip, just as\u003cbr\u003eit is for fathers who have daughters. Your son will open your eyes,\u003cbr\u003ebroaden your knowledge, and help your sense of humor. I guarantee it.","brand":"Ballantine Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301093101797,"sku":"NP9780345441485","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780345441485.jpg?v=1767737045","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/speaking-of-boys-isbn-9780345441485","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}