So You're Going Bald!

Educational, uplifting, and thoroughly hilarious, this rollicking “bald memoir” is a one-stop guide to appreciating life as you lose your hair, and offers dating, grooming, marriage, sex, and even toupee advice for bald men and the people who claim to love them.

Humorist and comedy television writer Julius Sharpe woke up on 9/11 to his own personal disaster: his hair was falling out. So You’re Going Bald is his hilarious odyssey—a tale filled with despair, horror, acceptance, and humor that everyone can relate to, whether you’re nineteen or approaching ninety—or are simply bald-curious.

As Julius tells it, going bald is for-real traumatic. Losing his hair preoccupied his days and kept him up Googling every night for five straight years. He suffered in private, but now he’s making it his mission that no cue ball will live alone with the agony of hair loss ever again. Sharpe examines what it means to be hairless up top, and walks you through how to look at yourself in the mirror and not want to die. He outlines the three stages of baldness (anger, more anger, even more anger), and volunteers himself as a guinea pig, testing laser helmets, plugs, and toupees. So You’re Going Bald is one-part tough love and one-part inspiration . . . the same way that Fran Drescher’s Cancer Schmancer inspired a cure for schmancer.

We all know someone who is bald, or going bald, or got their hair cut way too short. In So You’re Going Bald, Sharper provides an emotional roadmap for living life in the bald lane, giving voice to what it feels like to know that “grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.”

Part educational, part inspirational—and 100 percent hilarious—Julius Sharpe’s rollicking “losing-of-hair memoir/how-to” is a one-stop guide for bald and balding men and the people who claim to love them.

If you’re one of the 40 million bald or balding men in America, you’re undoubtedly feeling helpless, scared, and alone. Now, for the first time in history, there’s finally a book of information, advice, tips, and tricks to help those with bald heads get back on their (hopefully bald) feet.

Humorist, TV writer, and prominent member of the bald community Julius Sharpe used to have an impressive head of wavy, luxurious hair, but that all changed for him, literally overnight. As Sharpe tells it, his hair loss was calamitous and traumatic—it preoccupied his days and kept him up googling at night, for five straight years. Now, in the laugh-out-loud and poignant So You’re Going Bald!, he is pulling on those years of research and agony to reveal just what happens and what it means when a hair owner becomes an inadvertent skinhead. Whether you’re a poor young guy who’s seventeen and just noticed his first disgusting clump of hair in the drain or you’re eighty years old and about to die or you’re somewhere in the chrome-dome middle—or, God help you, you’re someone who is trying to love the baldy in your life—this book will be your new Bible. So, hey, you can throw your old Bible away!

Julius Sharpe’s anguish was once private, but now it’s his mission that no cue ball will suffer alone ever again. Sharpe examines what it means to be hairless up top, and how to look at yourself in the mirror and still find the will to live. He walks us through the three stages of baldness (anger, even more anger, and even more anger) and makes himself into a guinea pig for treatments like laser helmets, plugs, and toupees. He discusses dating, marriage, sex, and even Vin Diesel. So You’re Going Bald! will give you all the information and inspiration you need to navigate life without hair.

Bald people are, unfortunately, everywhere. We all deal with them constantly—at work, in social settings, and on public transportation—and we never know what to say. “Sorry” seems like not enough and “Thank God I’m not you!” seems a bit too harsh. Now you can hand them So You’re Going Bald! And say: “I understand.”