{"product_id":"sexual-metamorphosis-isbn-9781400030149","title":"Sexual Metamorphosis","description":"\u003ci\u003eBut who could describe my fright when, on the next morning, I awoke and found myself feeling as if completely changed into a woman. — Case 129, Autobiography, from \u003c\/i\u003ePsychopathia Sexualis, a Medico-Forensic Study by Richard Von Krafft-Ebing \u003cbr\u003eAt the time the passage above was written, people who felt trapped in the wrong gender automatically became case-studies. Today they become the men and women they always felt they were. Transsexuals test our notions of what it is to be male or female and, more provocatively, what it means to be one self as opposed to another. “Their stories,” says Jonathan Ames, “hold the appeal of an adventurer’s tale.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn \u003cb\u003eSexual Metamorphosis\u003c\/b\u003e, Ames presents the personal narratives of seventeen gender pioneers. Here is Christine Jorgensen, the first celebrity transsexual, greeting thousands of well-wishers from the stage of Madison Square Garden. Here is Caroline Cossey, former model and Bond (as in James) girl, being outed in the tabloid press. Here is novelist and English professor Jennifer Finney Boylan discussing her impending transformation with her heartbroken spouse and supportive yet confused colleagues. The result is a fascinating and compulsively readable book, filled with anguish, introspection and courage.Introduction\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePsychopathia Sexualis \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRichard von Krafft-Ebbing\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eMan Into Woman\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLili Elbe, ed. Niels Hoyer\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Transsexual Phenomenon\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eHarry Benjamin, M.D. \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChristine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eChristine Jorgensen\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eConundrum\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJan Morris\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEmergence\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMario Martino with harriett\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSecond Serve\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eReneé Richards, M.D.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMy Story\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eCaroline Cossey\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBody Alchemy\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLoren Cameron\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDear Sir or Madam\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMark Rees\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrossing\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDeirdre McCloskey\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Woman I Was Not Born to Be\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAlishia Brevard\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMark 947\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eCalpernia Sarah Addams\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWrapped in Blue\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDonna Rose\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe's Not There \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJennifer Finney Boylan\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePermissionsJonathan Ames is the author of\u003cb\u003e I Pass Like Night\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eThe Extra Man\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eWhat's Not to Love?\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eMy Less Than Secret Life\u003c\/b\u003e, and \u003cb\u003eWake Up, Sir!\u003c\/b\u003e He is the winner of a Guggenheim Fellowship and lives in New York City, where he performs frequently as a storyteller in theaters and nightclubs. He is a recurring guest on the \u003ci\u003eLate Show with David Letterman\u003c\/i\u003e, and his books are being adapted for film and television. Ames has had one amateur boxing match, losing and fighting under the nickname \"The Herring Wonder.\"PSYCHOPATHIA SEXUALIS\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRichard von Krafft-Ebing\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e1886\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRichard von Krafft-Ebing (1840–1902) was a German physician and  neurologist. His Psychopathia Sexualis (1886), a pioneering collection  of 237 case studies in sexual pathology, revolutionized the scientific  understanding of sex, influencing Freud (a student of Krafft-Ebing’s)  and introducing the terms sadism, masochism, and fetishism.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eIn this excerpt, Case 129 is presented and is the autobiography of a  patient who “feels like a woman in a man’s form.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCASE 129.\u003ci\u003e Autobiography\u003c\/i\u003e. Born in Hungary in 1844, for many years I was  the only child of my parents; for the other children died for the most  part of general weakness. A brother of later birth is still living.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI come of a family in which nervous and mental diseases have been  numerous. It is said that I was very pretty as a little child, with  blond locks and transparent skin; very obedient, quiet and modest, so  that I was taken everywhere in the society of ladies without any  offense on my part.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith a very active imagination—my enemy through life—my talents  developed rapidly. I could read and write at the age of four; my memory  reaches back to my third year. I played with everything that fell into  my hands—with leaden soldiers, or stones, or ribbons from a toy shop;  but a machine for working in wood, that was given to me as a present, I  did not like. I liked best to be at home with my mother, who was  everything to me. I had two or three friends with whom I got on  good-naturedly; but I liked to play with her sisters quite as well, who  always treated me like a girl, which at first did not embarrass me. I  must have already been on the road to become just like a girl; at  least, I can still well remember how it was always said: “He is not  intended for a boy.” At this I tried to play the boy—imitated my  companions in everything, and tried to surpass them in wildness. In  this I succeeded. There was no tree or building too high for me to  reach its top. I took great delight in soldiers. I avoided girls more,  because I did not wish to play with their playthings; and it always  annoyed me that they treated me so much like one of themselves.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn the society of mature people, however, I was always modest, and,  also, always regarded with favor. Fantastic dreams about wild  animals—which once drove me out of bed without waking me—frequently  troubled me. I was always very simply but very elegantly dressed, and  thus developed a taste for beautiful clothing. It seems peculiar to me  that, from the time of my school days, I had a partiality for ladies’  gloves, which I put on secretly as often as I could. Thus, when once my  mother was about to give away a pair of gloves, I made great opposition  to it, and told her, when she asked why I acted so, that I wanted them  myself. I was laughed at; and from that time I took good care not to  display my preference for female things. Yet my delight in them was  very great. I took special pleasure in masquerade costumes—i.e., only  in female attire. If I saw them, I envied their owners. What seemed to  me the prettiest sight was two young men, beautifully dressed as white  ladies, with masks on; and yet I would not have shown myself to others  as a girl for anything; I was so afraid of being ridiculed. At school I  worked very hard, and was always among the first. From childhood my  parents taught me that duty came first; and they always set me an  example. It was also a pleasure for me to attend school; for the  teachers were kind, and the elder pupils did not plague the younger  ones. We left my first home; for my father was compelled, on account of  his business—which was dear to him—to separate from his family for a  year. We moved to Germany. Here there was a stricter, rougher manner,  partly in teachers and partly in pupils; and I was again ridiculed on  account of my girlishness. My schoolmates went so far as to give a  girl, who had exactly my features, my name, and me hers; so that I  hated the girl. But I later came to be on terms of friendship with her  after her marriage. My mother tried to dress me elegantly; but this was  repugnant to me, because it made me the object of taunting. So,  finally, I was delighted when I had correct trousers and coats. But  with these came a new annoyance. They irritated my genitals,  particularly when the cloth was rough; and the touch of tailors while  measuring me, on account of their tickling, which almost convulsed me,  was unendurable, particularly about the genitals. Then I had to  practice gymnastics; and I simply could do nothing at all, or only  indifferently the things that even girls can do easily. While bathing I  was troubled by feeling ashamed to undress; but I liked to bathe. Until  my twelfth year I had a great weakness in my back. I learned to swim  late, but ultimately so well that I took long swims. At thirteen I had  pubic hair, and was about six feet tall; but my face was feminine until  my eighteenth year, when my beard came in abundance and gave me rest  from resemblance to woman. An inguinal hernia that was acquired in my  twelfth year, and cured when I was twenty, gave me much trouble,  particularly in gymnastics. Besides, from my twelfth year on, I had,  after sitting long, and particularly while working at night, an  itching, burning and twitching, extending from the penis to my back,  which the acts of sitting and standing increased, and which was made  worse by catching cold. But I had no suspicion whatever that this could  be connected with the genitals. Since none of my friends suffered in  this way, it seemed strange to me; and it required the greatest  patience to endure it, the more owing to the fact that my abdomen  troubled me.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn\u003ci\u003e sexualibus\u003c\/i\u003e I was still perfectly innocent; but now, as at the age of  twelve or thirteen, I had a definite feeling of preferring to be a  young lady. A young lady’s form was more pleasing to me; her quiet  manner, her deportment, but particularly her attire, attracted me. But  I was careful not to allow this to be noticed; and yet I am sure that I  should not have shrunk from the castration knife, could I have thus  attained my desire. If I had been asked to say why I preferred female  attire, I could have said nothing more than that it attracted me  powerfully; perhaps, also, I seemed to myself, on account of my  uncommonly white skin, more like a girl. The skin of my face and hands,  particularly, was very sensitive. Girls liked my society; and, though I  should have preferred to have been with them constantly, I avoided them  when I could; for I had to exaggerate in order not to appear feminine.  In my heart I always envied them. I was particularly envious when one  of my young girlfriends got long dresses and wore gloves and veils.  When, at the age of fifteen, I was on a journey, a young lady, with  whom I was boarding, proposed that I should mask as a lady and go out  with her; but, owing to the fact that she was not alone, I did not  acquiesce, much as I should have liked it. While on this journey, I was  pleased at seeing boys in one city wearing blouses with short sleeves,  and the arms bare. A lady elaborately dressed was like a goddess to me;  and if even her hand touched me coldly I was happy and envious, and  only too gladly would have put myself in her place in the beautiful  garments and lovely form. Nevertheless, I studied assiduously, and  passed through the Realschule and the gymnasium in nine years, passing  a good final examination. I remember, when fifteen, having first  expressed to a friend the wish to be a girl. In answer to his question,  I could not give the reason why. At seventeen I got into fast society;  I drank beer, smoked, and tried to joke with waiter girls. The latter  liked my society, but they always treated me as if I wore petticoats. I  could not take dancing lessons, they repelled me so; but if I could  have gone as a mask, it would have been different. My friends loved me  dearly; I hated only one, who seduced me into onanism. Shame on those  days, which injured me for life! I practiced it quite frequently, but  in it seemed to myself like a double man. I cannot describe the feeling; I think it was masculine, but mixed with feminine elements. I could not approach  girls; I feared them, but they were not strange to me. They impressed  me as being more like myself; I envied them. I would have denied myself  all pleasures if, after my classes, at home I could have been a girl  and thus have gone out. Crinoline and a smoothly fitting glove were my  ideals. With every lady’s gown I saw I fancied how I should feel in  it—i.e., as a lady. I had no inclination toward men. But I remember  that I was somewhat lovingly attached to a very handsome friend with a  girl’s face and dark hair, though I think I had no other wish than that  we both might be girls.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAt the high school I finally once had coitus; \u003ci\u003ehoc modo sensi, me  libentius sub puella concubuisse et penem meum cum cunno mutatum maluisse\u003c\/i\u003e. To her astonishment, the girl had to treat me as a girl, and  did it willingly; but she treated me as if I were she (she was still  quite inexperienced, and, therefore, did not laugh at me).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen a student at times I was wild, but I always felt that I assumed  this wildness as a mask. I drank and dueled, but I could not take  lessons in dancing, because I was afraid of betraying myself. My  friendships were close, but without other thoughts. It pleased me most  to have a friend masked as a lady, or to study the ladies’ costumes at  a ball. I understood such things perfectly. Gradually I began to feel  like a girl.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOn account of unhappy circumstances, I twice attempted suicide. Without  any cause I once did not sleep for fourteen days, had many  hallucinations (visual and auditory at the same time), and was with  both the living and the dead. The latter habit of thought remains. I  also had a friend (a lady) who knew my hobby and put on my gloves for  me; but she always looked upon me as a girl. Thus I understood women  better than other men did, and in what they differed from men; so I was  always treated\u003ci\u003e more feminarium\u003c\/i\u003e—as if they had found in me a female  friend. On the whole, I could not endure obscenity, and indulged in it  myself only out of braggadocio when it was necessary. I soon overcame  my aversion to foul odors and blood, and even liked them. Only some  things I could not look at without nausea. I was wanting in only one  respect: I could not understand my own condition. I knew that I had  feminine inclinations, but believed that I was a man. Yet I doubt  whether, with the exception of the attempts at coitus, which never gave  me pleasure (which I ascribe to onanism), I ever admired a woman  without wishing I were she; or without asking myself whether I should  not like to be the woman, or be in her attire. Obstetrics I learned  with difficulty (I was ashamed for the exposed girls, and had a feeling  of pity for them); and even now I have to overcome a feeling of fright  in obstetrical cases; indeed, it has happened that I thought I felt the  traction myself. After filling several positions successfully as a  physician, I went through a military campaign as a volunteer surgeon.  Riding, which, while a student, was painful to me, because in it the  genitals had more of a feminine feeling, was difficult for me (it would  have been easier in the female style).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStill, I always thought I was a man with obscure masculine feeling; and  whenever I associated with ladies, I was still soon treated as an  inexperienced lady. When I wore a uniform for the first time, I should  have much preferred to have slipped into a lady’s costume, with a veil;  I was disturbed when the stately uniform attracted attention. In private practice I was  successful in the three principal branches. Then I made another  military campaign; and during this I came to understand my nature; for  I think that, since the first ass ever made, no beast of burden has  ever had to endure with so much patience as I have. Decorations were  not wanting, but I was indifferent to them.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThus I went through life, such as it was, never satisfied with myself,  full of dissatisfaction with the world, and vacillating between  sentimentality and a wildness that was for the most part affected.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMy experience as a candidate for matrimony was very peculiar. I should  have preferred not to marry, but family circumstances and practice  forced me to it. I married an energetic, amiable lady, of a family in  which female government was rampant. I was in love with her as much as  one of us can be in love—i.e., what we love we love with our whole  hearts, and live in it, even though we do not show it as much as a genuine man does. We love our brides with all the love of a woman,  almost as a woman might love her bridegroom. But I cannot say this for  myself; for I still believed that I was but a depressed man, who would  come to himself, and find himself out by marriage. But, even on my  marriage night, I felt that I was only a woman in man’s form; \u003ci\u003esub  femina locum meum esse mihi visum est\u003c\/i\u003e. On the whole, we lived contented  and happy, and for two years were childless. After a difficult  pregnancy, during which time I lay at the point of death in the enemy’s  own country, my wife gave birth to our first boy in a difficult labor—a  boy still afflicted with a melancholy nature. Then came a second, who  is very quiet; a third, full of peculiarities; a fourth, a fifth; and  all have the predisposition to neurasthenia. Since I always felt out of  my own place, I went much in gay society; but I always worked as much as human strength would endure. I studied and operated; and I  experimented with many drugs and methods of cure, always on myself. I  left the regulation of the house to my wife, as she understood  housekeeping very well. My marital duties I performed as well as I  could, but without personal satisfaction. Since the first coitus, the  masculine position in it has been repugnant, and also difficult for me.  I should have much preferred to have the other \u003ci\u003erôle\u003c\/i\u003e.","brand":"Vintage","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46303418188005,"sku":"NP9781400030149","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781400030149.jpg?v=1767736409","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/sexual-metamorphosis-isbn-9781400030149","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}