{"product_id":"no-cure-for-being-human-isbn-9780593230794","title":"No Cure for Being Human","description":"\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNEW YORK TIMES \u003c\/i\u003eBESTSELLER • The bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eEverything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)\u003c\/i\u003e asks, how do you move forward with a life you didn’t choose?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e“Kate Bowler is the only one we can trust to tell us the truth.”—Glennon Doyle, author of the #\u003ci\u003e1 New York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestseller \u003ci\u003eUntamed\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s hard to give up on the feeling that the life you really want is \u003ci\u003ejust \u003c\/i\u003eout of reach. A beach body by summer. A trip to Disneyland around the corner. A promotion on the horizon. Everyone wants to believe that they are headed toward good, better, best. But what happens when the life you hoped for is put on hold indefinitely? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eKate Bowler believed that life was a series of unlimited choices, until she discovered, at age thirty-five, that her body was wracked with cancer. In \u003ci\u003eNo Cure for Being Human\u003c\/i\u003e, she searches for a way forward as she mines the wisdom (and absurdity) of today’s “best life now” advice industry, which insists on exhausting positivity and on trying to convince us that we can out-eat, out-learn, and out-perform our humanness. We are, she finds, as fragile as the day we were born. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith dry wit and unflinching honesty, Kate Bowler grapples with her diagnosis, her ambition, and her faith as she tries to come to terms with her limitations in a culture that says anything is possible. She finds that we need one another if we’re going to tell the truth: Life is beautiful and terrible, full of hope and despair and everything in between—and there’s no cure for being human.“I began reading \u003ci\u003eNo Cure for Being Human\u003c\/i\u003e after dinner one evening and didn’t move until I finished the last gorgeous page. As I finally put this masterpiece down, I thought Kate Bowler is the only one we can trust to tell us the truth. Bowler is a prophet and her new offering is another true gift to the world. This book will open minds and warm hearts.”\u003cb\u003e—Glennon Doyle, author of the #1 \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestseller \u003ci\u003eUntamed\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“With grace, wisdom, and humor, Kate Bowler encourages us to cut back on self-help Kool-Aid and teaches us what it means to be human.”\u003cb\u003e—Adam Grant, #1 \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eThink Again \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “Bowler offers an alternative to the good vibes\/prosperity gospel approach: honesty with room for mystery and humor.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eThe New York Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Kate Bowler has paid through the nose to become a writer of uncommon spiritual wisdom, coupled with an amazing sense of humor and a heart full of love. She fills me with hope.”\u003cb\u003e—Anne Lamott, \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eDusk, Light, Dawn\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Kate Bowler refuses to jump on the bandwagon of toxic positivity. Instead, she leads us to a truer truth: The work is unfinishable, and so be it.”\u003cb\u003e—Kelly Corrigan, \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author, host of the podcast \u003ci\u003eKelly Corrigan Wonders\u003c\/i\u003e and PBS’s \u003ci\u003eTell Me More with Kelly Corrigan\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e“Kate Bowler is the rare author who can explore difficult subjects with both breathtaking honesty and lightheartedness. She brings profound insight and love to the human experience.”\u003cb\u003e—Gretchen Rubin, #1 \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Project \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“In a culture that asks us to constantly strive and improve, Kate Bowler recognizes that our own pain is neither an aberration nor an opportunity but a fact of life. There is nobody on earth who sees our humanity quite like Kate Bowler.”\u003cb\u003e—Nora McInerny, creator and host of the podcast \u003ci\u003eTerrible, Thanks for Asking\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Those in need of a wake-up call will find it in this breathtaking narrative. . . . Bowler’s strong faith is present throughout, though the writing, refreshingly, never feels overtly religious. . . . Her convictions underscore the importance of living life on one’s own terms.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003ePublishers Weekly\u003c\/i\u003e (starred review)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “[Kate Bowler] follows her earlier . . . with wise, wry reflections on living in the face of uncertainty. . . . Like others who have suffered traumatic loss or illness . . . Bowler recognizes that ‘so often the experiences that define us are the ones we didn’t pick.’ A sensitive memoir of survival.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eKirkus Reviews\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“With hilarity and courage, Bowler tells the story of being diagnosed with stage-four cancer at age thirty-five, which forced her to re-examine the way she (and we) live our lives. This is a brilliant examination of what happens when everything you assumed is suddenly in question.”\u003cb\u003e—Lori Gottlieb, bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eMaybe You Should Talk to Someone\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eKate Bowler \u003c\/b\u003eis an associate professor of the history of Christianity in North America at Duke Divinity School. She completed her undergraduate degree at Macalester College, received a master’s of religion from Yale Divinity School, and a PhD at Duke University. She is the author of \u003ci\u003eBlessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel\u003c\/i\u003e, the \u003ci\u003eNew York Times \u003c\/i\u003ebestselling memoir \u003ci\u003eEverything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eThe Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities\u003c\/i\u003e. On her popular podcast, \u003ci\u003eEverything Happens\u003c\/i\u003e, she talks with people about what they have learned in difficult times and why it is so difficult to speak frankly about suffering. She has appeared on the TED stage, NPR, and \u003ci\u003eToday, \u003c\/i\u003eand her writing has been featured in \u003ci\u003eThe New York Times\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eThe Washington Post\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eTime\u003c\/i\u003e. She lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her husband, Toban, and son, Zach.\u003cb\u003eChapter One\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBest Life Now\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI was in bed in the surgical wing of Duke University Hospital when the doctor popped his head in the door and smiled apologetically before flicking on the fluorescent lights. It was 4:00 a.m., the end of my second night in the hospital, but no one in a hospital sleeps in the conventional sense. There are only intervals of sleep without rest, interrupted by unfamiliar voices.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhat’s your date of birth? On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo this day, if you wake me up from a nap, I will immediately tell you my birthday.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI opened my eyes and saw a boyish face. The doctor wore a white coat too large for his frame and his eyes were bleary either from a day that had only begun or from a night that had gone on too long.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Six, sixteen, 1980. June 16.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Right,” the doctor said, then paused. “So . . . you’re thirty-­five.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI nodded, and my eyes began to water. I brushed the tears away quickly. Not the right moment for that now, thank you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“If you keep replenishing my fluids, I’ll just keep crying,” I explained. “Maybe keep me in a stage of light dehydration for the next few days.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe doctor suppressed a laugh and began to riffle through my case history. “The patient has a history of abdominal pain after meals. Significant weight loss. Nausea and vomiting. No ultrasound evidence of gallstones or cholecystitis, but results of hepatobiliary scan led to a surgical consult to remove the patient’s gallbladder . . . then you got a CT scan.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“No,” I corrected. “I yelled at a surgeon for the first time in my life and said that I was not leaving his office without a scan. Then they ordered a scan.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis had been the biggest showdown of my life, the doleful surgeon with his arms folded and me loudly demanding some kind of treatment. It had been five months, and I had lost thirty pounds. I was doubled over with the pain. “I can’t bear this much longer,” I had said, again and again as doctors benignly shuffled me along.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe young doctor glanced up at me and then turned back to his notes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“The scan revealed that the liver has multiple focal lesions; the largest are seen within the caudate and right hepatic lobe in addition to several scattered subcentimeter lesions, some are noted within the periphery of the liver and some are subcapsular. The large left transverse colon mass was what created the functional obstruction for you, hence the pain.” He looked up at me quickly. “And then there are local regional lymph nodes that are worrisome for early peritoneal carcinomatosis.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe heart monitor beeped softly.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI cleared my throat nervously. “Um, so, this is my first real conversation since the diagnosis. I mean, I know I had surgery, obviously.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFlustered, I tried to start again. “The day before yesterday, a doctor’s assistant called me on the phone at work to tell me that I had Stage Four cancer. But I don’t know what these terms mean except that it sounds like I am a spaghetti bowl of cancer. People keep saying ‘lesions,’ ” I said. “I haven’t had a chance to google it. What are lesions exactly?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Tumors. We’re talking about tumors.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Ohhhhh,” I said, embarrassed by another flood of tears. “Right. And are there more than four stages of cancer?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“No.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Okay, so I have the . . . most. The most cancer,” I finished lamely.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe doctor stood there for a minute, raking his hands through his hair, whatever plans he had for this conversation deteriorating. He lowered himself onto the chair beside the bed but remained bolt upright as if to remind us both that he could leave at any time. The room was warm and stale. A silence folded over us, giving me a moment to look at him more carefully now, his mussy hair and anxious expression, wrinkled coat and brand-­new sneakers. He is too young for this. God, we are both too young for this.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“I’d like to ask you some questions, if you don’t mind.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“By all means.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“I’d like to know what my odds are. Of living. I’d like to know if I will live. No one has mentioned that.” I kept my voice invitational. I will not shoot this messenger. This is a friendly exchange between interested peers.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe paused. “I only know how to answer that by telling you the median survival rate for people who share your diagnosis.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Okay.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Based on the information we have about people with Stage Four colon cancer, the survival rate is fourteen percent,” he said and began to scan the room as if looking for a window to climb out of.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A fourteen percent chance of survival,” I repeated in a neutral voice. My head felt suddenly heavy as if I were pushing the words up a steep hill. Fourteen percent. Fourteen percent. We lapsed into another silence. The doctor shifted in his seat. He rose to leave, but I reached out, abruptly, to stop him.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Hey!” I said too loudly. “I mean, hey.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStartled, he looked down. My hand was closed tightly around his arm like a collar.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“It’s just . . .” I started again. “You’d better be holding my hand if you’re going to say stuff like that.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe sat back down and carefully took my hand. I closed my eyes and thought of the last time I was here, in this hospital, holding someone’s reluctant hand. It was a maternity nurse. And I could not be reasoned with. “Short inhale! Long exhale!” she had shouted. “Are you laughing or yelling?” A bit of both. But I was waiting for something absolutely wonderful to happen.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI opened my eyes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Okay.” I said, letting him go. He stood to leave. “Wait! Wait. Before you go. What does survival mean in this context?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe paused, his expression softening.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Two years,” he said.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI don’t know what he saw, but he took my hand again.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Okay,” I said at last. “Okay then.” Because I was counting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTwo years. 730 days.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis new definition of living is glued together by a series of numbers. I would be thirty-­seven years old. I would celebrate my fifteen-­year wedding anniversary. Zach would turn three.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI rummage around the things that the nurses had left within reach—­a styrofoam cup of apple juice, peanut butter crackers, an untouched bowl of Jell-­o cubes—­until yes, there. My phone. I pull up the calendar and the calculator for some quick math: two Christmases, two summers, and 104 Thursdays.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI sink back into the bed with a long exhale. That is not enough time to do anything that matters. Only small terrible choices now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJust then, Toban tiptoes into my hospital room holding a coffee so protectively that I already know the kind of night he has endured. I stuff the phone under my blankets and smile. Seeing me awake, he smiles back, a little nervously. A newly forming habit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Did I miss anything?” he asks, coming around to the side of my bed to press his cool palm against my sticky forehead. He frowns.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“No,” I reply quickly. “There’s nothing definite, I mean.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe settles into the chair and leans back, closing his eyes. I study him for a long moment. My husband has only ever had three facial expressions on his stupidly handsome face: brooding, sleepy, and what I call “trampoline face” which is the self-­satisfied look of a grown man about to do a flip on a trampoline and hoping everyone will stop what they’re doing to applaud. But now I can see we’re adding another. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCareworn.New York Times bestseller; Author of the New York Times bestsellers Good Enough and Everything Happens for a Reason","brand":"Random House Trade Paperbacks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46304630669541,"sku":"NP9780593230794","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780593230794.jpg?v=1767733783","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/no-cure-for-being-human-isbn-9780593230794","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}