Living and Loving in the Age of AIDS

This is the tale of a devastating pandemic, of lives cut painfully short; it's also a love letter.
Derek, a distinguished designer and J, his husband, a pioneering entrepreneur and creator of both The Embassy Club, London’s answer to Studio 54, and iconic Heaven, Europe’s largest gay discotheque, met and fell in love more than 40 years ago.

Their lives were high-octane, full of adventure, fun and fearless creativity. Suddenly their friends began to get sick and die – AIDS had arrived in their lives. When they got tested, J received what was then a death sentence: he was HIV Positive. While the onset of AIDS strengthened stigma and fear globally, they confronted their personal crisis with courage, humour and an indomitable resolve to survive. J’s battle lasted six long years. Turning to spiritual reflection, yoga, nature – and always to love – Derek describes a transformation of the spirit, how compassion and empathy rose phoenix-like from the flames of sickness and death. Out of this transformation also came Aids Ark, the charity they founded, which helped to save, amongst the world’s most marginalised people, more than 1,000 HIV Positive lives.

This is a story of joy and triumph; about facing universal challenges; about the great rewards that come from giving back. Derek speaks for a generation who lived through a global health crisis that many in society refused even to acknowledge. His is a powerful story chronicling this extraordinary time."This book is both a history and an inspiration."
—Matthew Parris

"Incredibly vivid, moving, and compelling."
—Lord Chris Smith

"This is a powerful book, at once a love letter, a well-informed history of the AIDS epidemic, and the life-story of a beautiful young man in London, moving happily through the early days of gay liberation into a time of widespread anguish and despair."
—Del Kolve, Professor of English Literature UCLA, CA, USA

"Poignant and heart-touching."
—Linda-Gail Bekker, Professor of Medicine, President International AIDS Society 2016–2018, Co-Founder of the Desmond Tutu HIV Centre and Health Foundation

"Tells a story of living life to the full and giving back so much. Derek's passion for life comes through on every page."
—Iain Anderson, Executive Chairman of Cicero/amo & Stonewall Ambassador

"A moving and heartfelt account of two incredible people who are at once fighters, survivors and givers. . . .Running alongside the romantic and heart-warming storyline is a vivid recollection and reflection on important facets of the LGBTQIA+ and HIV epidemic experience, a history that is recorded and honestly told, lest we forget."
—VarsityWhile the TV series ‘It’s a Sin’ has brought the horrifying reality of an overlooked pandemic to a new audience, this profoundly poignant and intimate memoir ‘Living and Loving in the Age of AIDS,’ covers a devoted gay couples’ journey through the horrors and devastating impact of HIV/AIDS with relevant and authentic insight. Written with a lightness of touch and a positive spirit Derek Frost tells his story, his views and above all, the lessons he learned. As young men, he and Jeremy Norman, pivotal figures in British gay history, dealt with Jeremy’s HIV diagnosis and they share their experiences  with candid eloquence to remind us of the stark realities which killed so many young active vibrant gay men in their community.
- Johnny Bergius, Vice Chair, Elton John AIDS Foundation


Exceptionally well written and presented, "Living and Loving in the Age of AIDS: A Memoir" is an extraordinary, informative and thought-provoking read -- and one that is especially and unreservedly commended to the attention of all members of the LGBTQ community... highly recommended for community, college and university library LBGTQ Contemporary Biography collections
- Midwest Book ReviewDerek Frost, born 1952, met and fell in love with Jeremy Norman in 1977. He's a skilled designer, photographer, artist, yoga practitioner and gardener. Together with Jeremy he started numerous businesses including iconic Heaven nightclub and Soho Gyms. They live a nomadic life on both land and water. Derek has other loves - for stones, clouds, dance and street art. One of the two charities they started, Aids Ark, has to date saved over one thousand lives.