Jewish as a Second Language

It's a NICE book.

Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of nuance, argument, and somersaults of everyday speech; of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you had no idea you'd entered. It's everything from mastering the OAQ (Obsessive Anal Question) - "They'll de-ice the wings before we take off, right?" - to never, ever believing your mother-in-law when she says "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab." Now in a second edition that's bigger, better, and with more guilt, this is the indispensable guide.
 

* Jewish Cooking (the first two hours of boiling a chicken are just to make sure it's dead)
* Jewish Eating (you should eat eight times a day if you're diabetic - or if you're not)
* The Art of Two-Person Worrying (Jewish Ping-Pong)

* The hotel-room-changing gene, the always-at-the-doctor gene, and other genes only Jews have
* Boxing gloves, a rottweiler, Pop-Tarts, and fourteen other things you'll never find in a Jewish home
* And so much more. (Why not?)