{"product_id":"its-called-a-breakup-because-its-broken-isbn-9780767921961","title":"It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken","description":"\u003cb\u003eA must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you. Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrom Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller \u003ci\u003eHe’s Just Not That Into You\u003c\/i\u003e, comes \u003ci\u003eIt’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks  that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t  and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump  him. Starting right here, right now,  it’s time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe ultimate  survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From  how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality— seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and  heal.“You \u003ci\u003ewill \u003c\/i\u003eget through this, and you’ll do it faster with the help of \u003ci\u003eIt’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken\u003c\/i\u003e.” —\u003ci\u003eGlamour\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” —\u003ci\u003eNew York Post\u003c\/i\u003eComedian Greg Behrendt is the coauthor of the two-million-copy bestseller \u003ci\u003eHe’s Just Not That Into You\u003c\/i\u003e. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, \u003ci\u003eComedy Central\u003c\/i\u003e \u003ci\u003ePresents . . . \u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eThe Tonight Showwith Jay Leno\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eLate Show with David Letterman\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eLate Night with Conan O’Brien\u003c\/i\u003e. A former consultant on \u003ci\u003eSex and the City\u003c\/i\u003e, he lives with his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, in Los Angeles with their two children.Chapter One \u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003eIT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  AAAAAHHHHHHH! F***, it hurts. It’s rocking the very core of your being. You never  saw it com­ing. You knew this was going to happen. You were going to do it first.  You only broke it off with him before he broke it off with you. You guys were supposed  to be together forever. You never liked him that much anyway. He was such a great  kisser. The sex wasn’t that great. You really liked his family. He hated your friends.  You hated his shoes. You miss him soooooo much. There’s no doubt about it–breakups  suck. And now here you are holding this stupid “Breakup Book” because, quite honestly,  you’d do anything not to feel like this and maybe this book will shed some light  on what you’re going through. Maybe you’ll get some sleep tonight. Or stop sleeping  all the time. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In these first few hours or days or weeks of your breakup, there’s  one all-important truth that you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’ t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over  for a reason, and even if you’re in denial about it, deep down inside you prob­ably  know what that reason is. Even if you feel baffled by his decision to end it, it boils  down to the same thing every time: Your relationship, despite its promise, has ceased  to be right for one or both of you. It is, in effect, broken. That doesn’t make the  breakup any easier to handle or change the overwhelming nature of the sadness that  you feel. But that sadness, in turn, doesn’t make it less broken. If you’ve reached  this point, where one or both of you feel that walking away is the best course of  action, the cracks are there. And starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who  settles for broken or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes,  or a relationship. Your life is not a yard sale. It’s time to get rid of all the  broken stuff that you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years,  and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works. The bright, clean,  simple, easy, runs-so-smoothly-I-don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it kind of works.  Being the first one to recognize that a relationship isn’t a match doesn’t win you  any great prize—just the guilt of having to hurt someone’s feelings. So even though  you are clearly wounded, getting out of this bro­ken relationship is the best thing  possible, even if you didn’t know it was broken until now. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “But some things \u003ci\u003ecan\u003c\/i\u003e be fixed,”you say. True, but can your rela­tionship be fixed? Anything is possible,  but we’d say probably not. Generally, if one person thinks that the breakup is the  right move, they’re probably right even if it feels so wrong. Because unless there  are two people putting on the coveralls and getting down in the trenches with some  duct tape and superglue and a fierce determination, it isn’t going to happen. Need  more convincing? How about this: The person you loved took a good long look at the  awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks.  I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should  make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven and they’re not worth donning  coveralls for. Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not  worthy of your time or tears. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Right now, your mind is probably working overtime  to come up with all the reasons that you should still be together. Your heart is  hurting and your mind wants to find a way to undo the pain. Just remember, though,  that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is  that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don’t have in  common is the belief that this relationship can work. That, my friend, trumps your  shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e It’s hard not  to rack your brain, searching for reasons why the two of you couldn’t make it work,  but sometimes the only real answer is the simplest one: People come together and  move apart. It’s the age-old ebb and flow of relationships. Some are shorter journeys,  and others were meant for a lifetime. That goes for friendships as well. We become  attached to what’s familiar and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and  predictable even if they’re bad for us. A lot of the pain you are experiencing right  now is actually fear. Fear of things being different than how you liked them, fear  of never finding another love, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time  differently. We’re afraid of the unknown. The answer to all the questions swirling  in your head—What will I do on weekends? Will I meet someone else?—is “You won’t  know until you get there.” That’s hard, and it’s scary. But for the moment, you need  to concentrate on what you do know—that you and he no longer share the belief that  your rela­tionship has a future. It’s broken, and the longer you stay stuck in a  dead-end relationship or spend your days mourning one, the less time you get on this  planet to experience a great one. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e So take a deep breath, steel yourself, and realize  that this is going to hurt for a while. There is no quick remedy for the pow­erful  sting of heartbreak, though we’re going to try to make it easier for you throughout  the book. You’re going to feel like crap head to toe and run the gamut of emotions.  Edgy, moody, angry, depressed, nauseated—you name it. In fact, the amount of time  it takes for you to start feeling great about yourself again is directly proportional  to how much it sucks right now—especially if you weren’t the one who broke it off.  Because at the end of the day, someone you loved, trusted, and valued has rejected  you, and that really smarts. It’s hard to not take it personally. But—and here’s  the important part—the fact of the matter is, they’re wrong about you. Just because  your relationship is broken doesn’t mean you are! No matter what happened between  you, no mat­ter what you may or may not have done wrong, you are still a kick-ass  person. And even though you might not believe it right now, this breakup is the fi rst step toward finding someone truly worthy of your greatness. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003eBut Greg, I’ve Got  Questions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003eBut how can a relationship just break with no warning? \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003ci\u003eDear Greg,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e My  boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have always had the perfect  relationship. We moved in together last year and he started talking about getting  mar­ried, having kids, the whole deal. He even took me to look at engagement rings  a few weeks before Christmas, so naturally I assumed what would be under the Christmas  tree for me. Since I thought I was getting an engagement ring, I maxed out my credit  card to buy him a plasma TV for Christmas. Well, Christmas morning comes and he was  shocked when he opened the plasma TV. But that was nothing compared to the shock  when I opened his gift—a cashmere sweater and a necklace! What? Then, the next day,  he tells me he’s not sure “I’m the one” and he thinks I should move out and we should  take a break so he can figure some things out!! Now he’s got the apartment and the  plasma TV that I’ll be paying off for the rest of my life. I’ve tried to remind him  of how good we were together and that getting married was his idea, but he just keeps  apologizing and telling me he needs time apart. How can somebody go from wanting  to marry you to not even wanting to talk to you for no reason? What can I do to make  him realize that we should be together? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Please write back. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Marla \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003eDear Plasma  Giver, \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. (My grandmother  used to say that.) A lot of men think once they have a plasma TV they don’t need  a girlfriend. Sounds like your boy-friend’s one of them. The truth is that if he’ s going to come to the conclusion that you guys should be together, he’s going do  it on his own. There’s nothing you can do to make him want to be with you, and more  important, want to marry you. One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life  is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe  that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a  lot of it in the beginning. What blows even more is that you were completely blindsided—even though the relationship was bro­ken on his end, he had clearly led you to believe  you were in the same place emotionally. What a shitty new reality for you to get  your head around now. But the sooner you do, the sooner you can get your head around  this great new thought: HEY, SUPERFOX, YOU ARE HEADED SOMEWHERE FABULOUS AND THERE  ARE GREAT POSSIBILITIES AHEAD. You should also let him know that the proper etiquette  is that if a girl breaks off an engagement she should give back the ring. If a man  breaks up with you, he should give back the TV. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eBut why didn’t he just break up  with me instead of making me do it? \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e","brand":"Harmony","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301235675365,"sku":"NP9780767921961","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780767921961.jpg?v=1767730261","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/its-called-a-breakup-because-its-broken-isbn-9780767921961","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}