{"product_id":"how-not-to-completely-suck-as-a-new-parent-isbn-9780771047541","title":"How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent","description":"Are you tired of the earnest advice in conventional parenting books? Do you want to know what’s really in your future as a new parent? Scott Feschuk and Paul Mather both know, all too well, and are happy to tell you with their trademark irreverence what it’s really like to be a new parent. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor instance, they tell you that by nine months your baby will inevitably have missed several milestones, sending you into a complete panic. And sooner or later you’ll realize you’re doing everything wrong. The solution is simple: just read a different childcare advice book. Also, if your child has not knocked over something expensive and nice by the age of three, this could be a sign that you don’t have enough things that are expensive and nice. Did you know that a child’s affection for a song is directly proportional to how severely it annoys his mother and father? And, believe it or not, experts estimate that by 2024, the cost of a drunken frat party at a typical postsecondary institution will be $575,000. You owe it to your child to start saving now!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCandid and comic, \u003ci\u003eHow Not to Completely Suck\u003c\/i\u003e is a bundle of laughs for frazzled new parents and curious parents-to-be. The perfect gift for a shower or Mother’s Day.Introduction\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe First Year:\u003cbr\u003eYour Newborn’s Appearance\u003cbr\u003eSetting Up the Nursery\u003cbr\u003eThe First Month of Life\u003cbr\u003eDiapers\u003cbr\u003eThe Little Things\u003cbr\u003eResuming Sexual Relations After the Birth of Your Child\u003cbr\u003eThe Baby Reveal\u003cbr\u003eBaby Monitors\u003cbr\u003eMemories to Last a Lifetime\u003cbr\u003eBaby Clothes\u003cbr\u003eSigns You May Have Picked the Wrong Pediatrician\u003cbr\u003eParental Threat Level\u003cbr\u003eGood Advice about Bad Advice\u003cbr\u003eGetting Back into Shape\u003cbr\u003eTravelling with \u003cbr\u003eMoney\u003cbr\u003eTit for Tat\u003cbr\u003eFeeding Your Infant\u003cbr\u003eChildprooffing Your Home\u003cbr\u003eQuestions, Questions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Second Year\u003cbr\u003eThe Not-So-Newlywed Game\u003cbr\u003eThe Growth of a Toddler\u003cbr\u003eBooks\u003cbr\u003eTalking to Your Child\u003cbr\u003eFun Activities You Can Do with a Toddler, and  Why They’re Not Fun\u003cbr\u003eFamily Dining\u003cbr\u003eChristmas Specials\u003cbr\u003eSigns You May Have Picked a Bad Daycare\u003cbr\u003eFailed Children’s TV Shows\u003cbr\u003eMore Questions, Questions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Third Year\u003cbr\u003eThe Outdoers\u003cbr\u003eABCs\u003cbr\u003eArrgh!: One Man’s Story\u003cbr\u003eCartoon Violence\u003cbr\u003eWhen I Was a Kid…\u003cbr\u003eMidnights\u003cbr\u003eTeaching Your Child to Think Creatively\u003cbr\u003eGoing Wiggly\u003cbr\u003eHow to Talk to Young Children about “Difficult” \u003cbr\u003eSubjects: A Guest Chapter by Dr. Ben Agiter, \u003cbr\u003eChild Psychologist\u003cbr\u003eJazzy and Gigi\u003cbr\u003eDangerously Sick of Winter\u003cbr\u003eSoft Pants\u003cbr\u003eEnough with the Questions, Already!\u003cbr\u003eThe Rest of Your Child’s Life\u003cbr\u003eConclusion: What Does it Mean to Be a Parent?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAppendix One\u003cbr\u003eYour Second Child\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAppendix Two\u003cbr\u003eParenting 2015: A One-Act Play\u003cb\u003eScott Feschuk\u003c\/b\u003e former media columnist for the \u003ci\u003eNational Post, \u003c\/i\u003eis the author of \u003ci\u003eSearching For Michael Jackson’s Nose\u003c\/i\u003e. He is currently the prime minister’s speech writer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePaul Mather\u003c\/b\u003e is half of the comedy duo Atomic Improv and writes for the hit television show \u003ci\u003eThe Monday Report \u003c\/i\u003ewith Rick Mercer.","brand":"McClelland \u0026 Stewart","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301139861733,"sku":"NP9780771047541","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780771047541.jpg?v=1767729331","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/how-not-to-completely-suck-as-a-new-parent-isbn-9780771047541","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}