{"product_id":"getting-to-resolution-isbn-9781576757710","title":"Getting to Resolution","description":"Adversarial models for dealing with conflict waste time, money, and energy. They satisfy no one, so the conflict ends up resurfacing in a different form. Stewart Levine’s “resolutionary” alternative goes beyond compromise and capitulation. He offers ten guiding principles that stop anger and resentment cold and enable both sides to return to productive, satisfying, functional relationships. Levine’s seven-step conversational process fosters dignity and integrity, optimizes resources, and allows all concerns to be voiced, honored, and woven into the resolution. This second edition has been thoroughly revised with new examples; new tools; new material about communication, trust building, and virtual collaboration; and a more global outlook.Foreword\u003cbr\u003e Preface\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part I \u003cbr\u003e The Value of Resolution   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 1   Resolution: Getting Beyond Conflict, Compromise, and Settlement   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 2   ROI and The Costs of Conflict: Pay Now or Pay Later   \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part II   \u003cbr\u003e A Better Way of Resolving Conflict   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 3   Two Brothers: Their Story of Resolution\u003cbr\u003e Chapter 4   The Craft of Resolution: A Road Map for Resolving Conflict: \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part III   \u003cbr\u003e Resolution: Ten Principles of Resolutionary Thinking     \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 5   PRINCIPLE 1     Believing in Abundance      \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 6   PRINCIPLE 2     Creating Partnership   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 7   PRINCIPLE 3     Being Creative   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 8   PRINCIPLE 4     Fostering Sustainable Collaboration    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 9   PRINCIPLE 5     Becoming Open    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 10   PRINCIPLE 6     Forming Long-Term Collaborations    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 11   PRINCIPLE 7     Relying on Feelings and Intuition    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 12   PRINCIPLE 8     Disclosing Information and Feelings    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 13   PRINCIPLE 9     Learning Throughout the Resolution Process    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 14   PRINCIPLE 10   Becoming ResponseAble   \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part  IV   \u003cbr\u003e The Craft of Resolution: A Step-by-Step Guide   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 15    STEP 1   Your  Attitude of Resolution   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 16    STEP 2   Stories: Telling and Listening \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 17    STEP 3   Listening for a  Vision of Resolution    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 18    STEP 4   Getting Current and Complete   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 19    STEP 5   Reaching Agreement in Principle   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 20    STEP 6   Crafting the New Agreement    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 21    STEP 7   Resolution    \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 22    Applying the Principles: The Craft of Resolution \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 23    Benefits and Utility: The Cycle of  Resolution \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part V   \u003cbr\u003e When You Need Professional Help\u003cbr\u003e Chapter 24    Using the Power of the Legal System   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 25    Choosing a Professional: The Resolutionary   \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Part VI   \u003cbr\u003e The Power of Resolution   \u003cbr\u003e Chapter 26     Building a Culture of Agreement and Resolution    \u003cbr\u003e Resources\u003cbr\u003e Notes      \u003cbr\u003e Bibliography   \u003cbr\u003e Index      \u003cbr\u003e About the Author“Getting to Resolution offers a unique and effective paradigm for understanding how you can use your natural gifts and interconnectedness to improve your interactions in all relationships.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Marvin E. Johnson, JD, Executive Director, Center for Alternative Dispute Resolution\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “Getting to Resolution is a clear and practical guide to the secret of success — how to create and leverage collaborative advantage. It is a must read for leaders seeking to strengthen relationships and get positive results.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Diana Whitney, PhD, President, Corporation for Positive Change, and coauthor of The Power of Appreciative Inquiry, The Appreciative Inquiry Summit, and Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “It is impossible to read this book and not grow in understanding of conflict, resolution, and self. Every page offers wisdom and practical tools.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Arnie Herz, Esq.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e“Stewart Levine has written a very practical book about one of life’s vexing problems — how to reach agreement with others when differences must be resolved. He does so with the intent of fostering collaboration and creativity as the outcome.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Alan Briskin, author of The Stirring of Soul in the Workplace and coauthor of The Power of Collective Wisdom\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e“This book is practical, mind-altering, and life-changing. It’s hard to achieve those in one book, but Getting to Resolution does that. It fills you with inner peace and the wisdom to untangle the thorniest conflict.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Noah Blumenthal, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Be the Hero\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e“If you want to resolve conflict and build relationships while connecting at a profound level, read Getting to Resolution. It gives you new language and practices for transforming your communication so you can lead at a higher level.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e--Victoria Halsey, PhD, Vice President of Applied Learning, The Ken Blanchard Companies, and coauthor of The Hamster Revolution and The Hamster Revolution for Meetings\u003c\/b\u003eStewart Levine is a lawyer, management consultant, mediator, and trainer. His clients and students include American Express, Caterpillar Corporation, Chevron, ConAgra, General Motors, Oracle, and others. He has been a partner in two law firms and served as Deputy Attorney General for the state of New Jersey.Resolution: Getting Beyond Conflict, Compromise, and Settlement\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Through dialogue even the most un-resolvable conflicts can be worked out and everyone wins. The process did not include litigation or the emotional roller coaster ride that accompanies most conflicts. It was a delightful experience.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Bill Brown, President, Influence Communications\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I remember being surprised when told that settlement of a lawsuit is often characterized by thinking that “if both sides are unhappy, you probably have a good settlement.” Resolution is much better than settling! Resolution provides relief and completeness. The situation no longer gnaws at your gut.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The most fitting dictionary definitions of resolution are: (1) the act of unraveling a perplexing question or problem; (2) solution; and (3) removal or disappearance, as in the disappearance of a tumor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The third is the most important, even though often aspirational. It means “as if it never happened.” The gnawing effect I call “internal chatter” has disappeared. The lack of chatter frees you to focus energy and attention on the present. If you’ve ever had a back injury, poison ivy, or a broken bone, you know what I mean. Something is resolved when the injury or illness does not impede the present moment.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This is important. You don’t want to keep dealing with the current impact of yesterday’s conflict. The effect may consist of holding anger or resentment, or thinking the result or compromise was unfair. Perhaps you compromised to get the situation behind you, or you deferred to someone else’s decision.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Although at times I have tried not to, for more than 25 years—as a lawyer, mediator, consultant, and trainer—I have practiced a resolutionary3 attitude, one that looks for the fair outcome from everyone’s perspective. Whether you are a hired advocate or you have a personal stake in the outcome, you can adopt an “attitude of resolution.” Evaluating the situation through the lens of resolution, you become an observer of what might be fair to everyone in the situation, even if you are directly involved. Standing in other’s shoes provides the critical perspective. The attitude of resolution is a skill you can cultivate by being aware, reserving your own judgments, and asking yourself if there is another solution that would serve everyone’s long- and short-term interests. It takes practice to develop this new habit of thinking, but I have found this orientation far more useful than trying to win.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Why Resolution?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Have you ever met someone who could not stop talking about something that happened in the past? It pervades their life as if it happened yesterday, although it may have taken place 20 years ago. They are stuck in the past, cut off from the ability to fully participate in their unfolding life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Conflict has an emotional cost that remains after the battle is over. Win or lose, the scars may be with you for the rest of your life. Some people spend their lives focusing on the promotion they “lost,” the business they “lost,” the divorce they “lost,” the project they “lost.” This tunnel vision keeps them locked in the grip of their own anger.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e They might even have “won,” but they have not healed the real cause of the conflict—a breakdown in a relationship that was valuable enough for them to invest emotional energy in a battle. They never completed grieving and they still carry the emotional suffering. They never “resolved” the real issue. They may never even have identified it! Our current ways of thinking that focus on winning guarantee a cost: suffering. The small battles between partners, parents and children, and employees and bosses take a significant toll.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Productivity and satisfaction, in business and personal relationships, come from our ability to collaborate with others. When you are resolved, you can fully focus on the tasks at hand. Your efforts are undiluted. Unresolved conflict, on the other hand, is an impediment to productivity and to satisfying, functional relationships. In today’s world of “knowledge work,” focus and creativity are essential. It’s impossible to be fully productive when you are angry. That’s why resolving the situation that’s sapping your strength and attention is very important.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e It is equally important to have a sense of resolve when you start any new collaboration or relationship. You collaborate with others by reaching agreements. Your dependence on others is based on an intricate, pervasive web of agreements. Sometimes these agreements are explicit, but often they are implicit. Your collaboration will be stronger when you can recognize the implicit agreements within it. When you start out with uncertainty, or come into conflict during a project, you experience the cost of not being resolved from the outset. You also realize how inadequate your agreement-making and conflict-resolution tools are. Even though making agreements and resolving conflicts are essential life skills for working with others, they have not been taught to most of us.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Many current practices for resolving conflicts and starting collaborative relationships hinder us because of the way we were programmed to think, and because of the standard systems and practices in place. This book provides you with the following new tools:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e 1. Ten Principles of a new paradigm—a new way of thinking about conflict resolution.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e 2. The Cycle of Resolution, a seven-step model for preventing and resolving conflict that is a road map of new behaviors.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e These ten principles and this seven-step model will maximize your ability to resolve conflict and achieve desired results in any business or personal relationship.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The Value of Resolution at Work\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e As organizations cut costs, differentiate products, and streamline productivity, people need to work within increasingly complex webs of face-to-face and virtual collaboration toward common goals. They need tools that foster collaboration in the face of distance and differences of opinion and “culture.” Rather than being angry and stuck, you must learn skills that foster resolution and quickly return you to productivity. This book presents the model for collaborative conversations that result in getting more done with fewer resources. This book reveals how agreement—the final step of resolving a conflict or the first step in the beginning of a new relationship—is an ongoing process, and that conflict and diverse opinions are opportunities for creativity and innovation. You will learn how to establish agreements based on deep heartfelt connection— agreements based on covenant.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Some of the benefits of establishing agreements based on covenant include:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Establishing shared vision of senior management\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Improving teamwork\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Creating partnership\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Motivating participation\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Including diverse perspectives and opinions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Using differences productively\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Coordinating with external teammates\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Using resources efficiently\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Communicating more effectively\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Building self-managing, high-performance teams\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Forging consensus quickly\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Fostering an environment of learning and growth\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Promoting continual improvement\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Capitalizing on the advantages of virtual organizations\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Providing a more formal model of communication\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e essential for effective virtual collaboration.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The Value of Resolution at Home\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In addition to their applications in workplace settings, the tools in this book will unlock more satisfying and intimate personal relationships within marriages, families, and less traditional partnerships that are part of our diverse social fabric. Because we usually think about personal relationships from an emotional and romantic perspective, it is difficult to accept that a linear process for resolving conflict and constructing agreements with specific promises about behavior will be helpful in producing more satisfying intimate relationships. My own experience leads me to suggest you bring the tools of this book into your personal life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The Big Picture\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e One primary challenge in getting to resolution is reaching an agreement in principle—a broad understanding of what the resolution will be. Once you have an agreement in principle, the heavy lifting is done. Filling in the details of a new agreement can be an enjoyable exercise in visionary thinking. You get to an agreement in principle when you cross a self-imposed emotional barrier and can let go of a position you have taken. For most people, this is not easy. It may require going against a lifetime of dealing with conflict in a different way. The steps of the model are designed to get you beyond this hurdle.2\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Getting beyond the emotional barrier is not like personal therapy. The internal work is accomplished as a result of new thinking (adopting the values of the ten principles) and new actions (following the steps of the model). Every step of the model contributes to resolution by making you speak your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about the conflict. Once your story is articulated and no longer purely emotional, you and others can deal with it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Although the steps of the model seem linear, getting to resolution is not a linear process. Mechanically going through the steps will not lead to resolution unless you have embraced the values of the ten principles. Once you embrace the principles, you have embraced the model’s first step, the Attitude of Resolution. Each successive step takes you toward resolution by making you go deeper into the personal, emotional, and human aspects of the conflict. You don’t have to say yes to the principles because they feel good, seem right, or are morally or politically correct. It’s fine to buy in because the cost of remaining in the conflict is too great. What is important is to get into the personal, emotional, and human aspects of the conflict. Regardless of what you say the conflict is about, the conflict is held as an emotional presence between you and at least one other person.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The new model provides a systematic approach. When you learn something new, it is important to have standard practices to follow. Standards provide guidance as you learn the new skill. When you learn to ski, drive a car, or fly an airplane, you put in place fundamentals that become unconscious habits. The model provides these fundamentals. Using the model develops habit and competence, and you discover the value of the principles. When you gain competence you will start to develop your own artistry—innovations within the standard practices. Once you internalize the principles and steps, resolution can happen quickly!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Personal Responsibility for the Value of Resolution\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Most of us avoid taking personal responsibility for conflict resolution. Even though our culture is litigious, we lack the courage to connect deeply with others and we personally avoid confrontation. If we have a disagreement in a business transaction or with a neighbor, we may let a lawyer take care of it. If we have emotional conflict, we may visit a therapist or counselor who (we hope) will tell us what to do.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The symptoms of conflict are stress, pain, and discomfort. When you take personal responsibility, you can impact the cause of the pain much faster than if you ask someone else to resolve the situation for you. Being responsible requires being open and vulnerable. If you are unwilling or unable to be authentic about your feelings, you may be quick to give up responsibility, and instead take false safety and security behind a more sterile, professional process. In doing that, you give up the potential of addressing your real concerns, getting to the core of the conflict, and reaching resolution.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Delegating conflict resolution to professionals who know how to diagnose and resolve your problems is a culturally learned response. But delegation compromises us when the professionals believe they are experts better equipped to make the key decisions that affect the core of our lives. Conflicts are filled with our feelings, and the professional to whom we hand the conflict does not have to live with the results of the resolutions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This book is a call for personal responsibility. It asks you to adopt new practices, and to assume a new attitude in the world. It requests that you take personal responsibility for dealing with conflicts, differences, and disagreement, and that you become ResponseAble. Giving the process away deprives you of the satisfaction of “getting to resolution.” You are uniquely capable of designing the best resolution and you will have the energy for follow-through because you own the solution. By being involved you derive value, strength, and the sense of self that full participation provides. Of course, there will be times when you need help. This book provides the guidance you may need.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Learning New Behaviors\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This book is a learning tool. My overriding concern is that you learn new thinking and new behaviors, new practices that will improve your professional and personal life. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. Learning is the ability to take new actions to achieve new results. Unless you implement new behaviors, you have not learned anything.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Resolution is simple, but it is not easy. This book will not be hard to understand. Your life experience has taught you many of the skills you need to master the art of resolution. The challenge is implementation—developing the habit of living the principles and behaviors on a daily basis.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In addition to my own experience, as background research for the first edition I spoke with more than a hundred senior conflict resolution professionals. Their insights validated many of the ideas in the book. And the ideas have been further validated by my experience over the last ten years. The stories in the book are true, although some of them are composites. They have been disguised to cloak the identity of individuals and organizations. You can be both facilitator and participant by internalizing the model and learning to become an observer of your situation. A goal of the book is for you to become “meta” to the situation—that is, you are outside or above it. I do it all the time, and you can too. The resolution principles and model can also be used for third-party interventions—when you try to help friends or co-workers resolve a conflict in which you are not personally involved, or as manager when you have direct responsibility.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I am inspired by the aim of resolution. I hope to inspire you. Getting to Resolution will teach you about patience, inquiry, learning, and expanding your perspective. The power and integrity of resolution leads to outcomes you cannot invent yourself. It’s the difference between the sound of one hand clapping and two!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Getting to Resolution helps you understand what you already know about conflict. It shows you a simpler, more effective approach to reaching, modifying, and maintaining collaborative agreements, a key to your professional and personal success.","brand":"Berrett-Koehler Publishers","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46299812298981,"sku":"NP9781576757710","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781576757710.jpg?v=1767728002","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/getting-to-resolution-isbn-9781576757710","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}