First Timer's Kit

Inside:
 
     •  10 Heroes of Intercourse Cards
     •  Comprehensive Textbook
     •  10 Sexual Position Cards
     •  Diploma (Suitable For Framing)
 
First Timer’s Kit May Cause the Following Side Effects:

Fatigue, numbness in extremities, unexpected lactation, mood swings, fever, ennui, nostalgia, cotton mouth, dropsy, banal dinner conversation, shin splints, nausea, dizziness, ringing in the ears, shortness of breath, dyspepsia, hot flashes, abdominal pain, lingering malaise, nosebleeds, stigmata, mossiness, bossa nova influenced heart palpitations, sluggishness, bad breath, excessive sassiness, vertigo, clammy palms, envy, the heebie jeebies, itchy teeth, ESP, memories you thought long forgotten, sleepiness at small print, phantom pain in your umbilical cord, buyer’s remorse, depression, elation, confusion, consternation, sensitivity to the the light, uncontrollable erections, or superpowers.Dr. Eric Ryland Horner holds so many degrees that the only way to fit them all on one page was to shrink them down to a microfiche done, which serves as the period for the end of this sentence. He currently runs a private practice in Philadelphia.