{"product_id":"finding-calm-for-the-expectant-mom-isbn-9780399173134","title":"Finding Calm for the Expectant Mom","description":"\u003cb\u003eThis invaluable resource shows moms-to-be how to manage stress during pregnancy.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePregnancy is exciting and exhilarating, but it can also be physically and psychologically demanding. The myth, perpetuated by social media, says that you should be “glowing,” but in reality, you may be anxious and find yourself on an emotional roller coaster.\u003ci\u003e And that is okay.\u003c\/i\u003e Feeling stressed and moody are very normal reactions to the changes your body is going through, the thoughts you might have about how your pregnancy will impact your career and relationships, and the social pressure to have a perfect pregnancy. High levels of stress and anxiety are not good for you or your baby, but there are ways to cope with and counteract these feelings, put them in perspective, and bring peace to your pregnancy. It is indeed possible to learn new skills that will enable you to glow and thrive.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn addition to featuring fun quizzes, stories of women with whom Dr. Alice Domar has worked, and information, advice, and encouragement, \u003ci\u003eFinding Calm for the Expectant Mom \u003c\/i\u003eincludes mind-body techniques that can relieve stress, anxiety, and moodiness. With the tools and problem-solving approach presented here, you can adjust your expectations, restructure negative thought patterns, cultivate resilience, and not only meet the challenges of pregnancy, but happily anticipate the most amazing experience of your life: becoming a mother.“Essential reading for all pregnant women who are anxious about labor and birth. And that’s the vast majority in today’s fear-based medical environment.”\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e—Dr. Christiane Northrup, \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eWomen’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"An essential book for all pregnant women. \u003ci\u003eFinding Calm for the Expectant Mom\u003c\/i\u003e provides indispensable tools that women can use to find balance and joy throughout their pregnancy, rather than the often unexpected reality of anxiety, fatigue, and lethargy.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e—Jodi A. Mindell, Ph.D., author of \u003ci\u003eSleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep\u003c\/i\u003e and associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Every expectant mother wonders what is normal, what to do with the mood swings and the never ending things to watch out for. In short order what should be one of the great experiences in life can be filled with stress. But there is no reason to worry because Dr. Domar is with you every step of the way. Just hearing her say, 'stop, breathe, reflect, and choose' lets you know that \u003ci\u003eFinding Calm for the Expectant Mom\u003c\/i\u003e is going to be a great companion.\"\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e—Nancy L Snyderman, MD, FACS, consulting professor of global health at Stanford University\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“While there is a lot of information out there on how expectant moms can stay physically healthy, this invaluable book helps women navigate the many emotional stresses of pregnancy. Dr. Domar has an innovative approach; she reassures, normalizes, and comforts with compassion and plenty of practical, research-based remedies for dealing with pregnancy-related anxiety. I just wish this book had been written when I was having my babies!! This is a must-read for every expectant mom!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e—Miriam E. Nelson, Ph.D., author of \u003ci\u003eStrong Women Stay Young\u003c\/i\u003e and director of the Sustainability Institute at the University of New Hampshire\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlice D. Domar, PhD,\u003c\/b\u003e is the founder and executive director of the Domar Centers for Mind\/Body Health and conducts groundbreaking research on the relationship between stress and various women's health conditions. She is an associate clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive biology, part-time, at Harvard Medical School, director of integrative care at Boston IVF, and a senior staff psychologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. She lives in the Boston area with her husband and two children.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSheila Curry Oakes \u003c\/b\u003eis a writer who has collaborated on books with numerous experts in the fields of women's health and wellness, parenting, and personal growth. A former publishing professional, she lives with her family outside of New York City.Chapter 1\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Am I Crazy, or        Am I Just Pregnant?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e You're pregnant! Most people are probably telling you      \"Congratulations!\" \"How exciting!\" \"How thrilling!\" You may feel      thrilled and excited but likely also worried, nauseated, and a      whole host of other physical and emotional symptoms-some of which      you expected, but others of which, I assume, caught you by      surprise. You are probably also coming to realize that being      pregnant carries with it responsibilities and expectations-maybe      more than you anticipated. Of course, you want to do whatever is      in your power to ensure the health and well-being of your baby.      But some of those expectations can weigh heavily on you, and it      may be a surprise how physically and psychologically challenging      pregnancy can be.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e No one really talks about how most pregnancies are not spent being      blissfully happy or symptom-free. In fact, you've probably heard      it a million times: Pregnant women glow. They are so radiant, so      breathtakingly gorgeous, so bursting with feminine allure and      blooming loveliness that the media can't help but shout about it.      And shout they do. When celebrities are pregnant, they seem to      sail through the nine months without morning sickness or      significant weight gain and are back in their skinny jeans before      you know it. And oh, how they glow!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I could fill this book with the claims people make about the glow      of pregnancy. It is an idea that is entrenched in our pregnancy      mythology. It is something we all want to believe; wouldn't it be      wonderful to be radiant for nine months? Except for one thing:      It's simply not true. The \"glow\" of pregnancy is a complete myth.      Sure, some of us shine a bit when we're expecting a baby. But to      expect to glow for forty weeks is unrealistic. (Listen to what      Jessica Simpson had to say about this: \"People always say that      pregnant women have a glow. And I say it's because you're sweating      to death.\") The reality of pregnancy is not so glittery or      glamorous. The normal physical and emotional symptoms of      pregnancy-especially in the first trimester-are often the polar      opposite of \"glowing.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I'll tell you a story that illustrates this perfectly. As the      founder and director of a unique health-care organization, the      Domar Centers for Mind\/Body Health, I work alongside a staff of      integrative care providers-psychologists, acupuncturists,      nutritionists, yoga teachers, and others-to help patients tend to      their physical and emotional health. We provide a wide range of      services, including the Mind\/Body Program for Infertility, which      teaches relaxation strategies and stress-management skills while      offering support for women who are struggling to conceive.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e At the beginning and the end of each ten-week program, each      patient completes an assessment designed to measure symptoms of      depression. We use it to compare depression symptoms in it our      patients at the start and the end of our programs. Almost always,      we discover that women feel far less depressed at the conclusion      of our programs. Well, this is the case for nearly every woman who      participates in our programs-with one exception: newly pregnant      women. When they take the questionnaire, their scores for      depressive symptoms are often off the charts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The interesting thing is, they don't score high on the depression      scale because women in their first trimester all feel depressed      about being pregnant. On the contrary, they are thrilled about it.      So why do they score so high on depressive symptoms? Well, when      you compare some of the most common symptoms of pregnancy with      symptoms of depression, you really can't tell the difference      between the two. And we're talking about the normal symptoms of      pregnancy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Pregnancy    Depression\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Worry about the future    Worry about the future\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Loss of energy    Loss of energy\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Changes in sleeping patterns    Changes in sleeping patterns\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Changes in appetite    Changes in appetite\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Difficulty concentrating    Difficulty concentrating\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Tiredness or fatigue    Tiredness or fatigue\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Loss of interest in sex    Loss of interest in sex\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e It comes down to this: The physical and emotional symptoms of the      first trimester can be so similar to those of depression that it's      hard to find a newly pregnant woman who doesn't appear at least      somewhat depressed. Or at least feel yucky. Even if she is eagerly      looking forward to being a mother, she can be sad, anxious, or      worried about her pregnancy or impending motherhood.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Then, on top of it all, pregnant women often feel guilty because      they don't feel fabulous. Or they feel guilty because they do. And      they feel guilty if they voice a complaint about being      pregnant-especially if they have worked hard to become pregnant.      If others put a positive spin on pregnancy, they feel badly if      they don't match their enthusiasm. Or, if others put a negative      spin on pregnancy, it's easy to go down the negative rabbit hole      and be upset by horror stories or see any of their own symptoms or      feelings as largely negative. Or they can feel completely confused      because they are trying to balance the challenges of physical      symptoms with the happiness they are feeling or, conversely, feel      perfectly fine physically but strangely ambivalent about having a      baby. Pregnancy emotions can range from giddy one moment to      depleted the next.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Tess, mom of an eight-month-old, expresses what many women feel:      \"The first trimester was a mix of emotions. My husband and I were      on the fence about having kids, so it was a little scary that I      was pregnant. At around six or eight weeks, I thought, 'This is a      terrible idea,' but at the same time I was really happy . . . and      anxious, scared, and excited. Everything I could be feeling-I did!      By the second trimester, people were telling me 'don't be      stressed,' but trying not to be stressed is so stressful!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Feeling anxious, moody, and exhausted during pregnancy is normal.      So is not feeling anxious, moody, and exhausted. There is no one      right way to feel. But the fantasy of contentedly rubbing our      growing bellies is only partially true. You can in fact be      maternal to the max while simultaneously resenting how nauseated      and tired you are feeling. Feeling happy and overwhelmed at the      same time is the definition of a normal pregnancy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Normal Pregnancy Perspectives\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"I'm not in it to be pregnant; I'm in it for the baby!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"I am surprised by how much I loved being pregnant. I loved it.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"No one told me it would be this uncomfortable.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"I don't want to be pregnant again, but I enjoyed giving birth.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \"I was a little sad that the pregnancy was over.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Surprising Symptoms\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e During pregnancy-especially the first months-you are far more      likely to be gagging than glowing. In fact, it's common to feel      all kinds of surprising physical and emotional symptoms. Even if      you are totally thrilled to be pregnant, you're likely to start      your nine-month journey experiencing uncomfortable symptoms,      including fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, bloating, insomnia,      gassiness, and aversions to certain odors. And until it happens to      you-until you start feeling the physical and emotional effects of      pregnancy-you simply can't imagine what it feels like, even if      you've watched friends and family members go through it. Many of      my patients, in anticipation of getting pregnant, read all sorts      of well-meaning but unrealistic books and blogs about pregnancy.      Many of these portray picture-perfect pregnancies. After all, who      wants to read about vomiting and hemorrhoids? Swelling and      sleeplessness? Because of the unrealistic portrayal of pregnancy,      I find myself having the same conversation week after week. A      pregnant patient comes in, feeling guilty about not feeling great;      I reassure her that her feelings are totally normal, which of      course then makes her ask me why I didn't warn her how hard it can      be to be pregnant. I didn't, because, for one thing, it's      impossible to predict how anyone will feel during her pregnancy.      Additionally, telling someone who really wants to conceive that      pregnancy can pose challenges she hasn't even thought about      doesn't seem like the best course of action. Besides, some women      do feel fabulous for nine months (and for those of us who didn't,      we can survive quite nicely without hearing how wonderful those      women's pregnancies were, thank you very much!).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In subsequent chapters, I'm going to give you lots of advice on      how to put all these conflicted feelings in perspective, how to      cope with them, and how to lower their effect on you. But for now,      let's take a look at the symptoms that commonly occur when you're      expecting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Frustrating Fatigue\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Fatigue and pregnancy go hand in hand. In fact, fatigue is      frequently the first pregnancy symptom that women notice. (The      other common first is breast tenderness.) Pregnancy fatigue is      unlike other kinds of fatigue; it makes you feel heavy and      exhausted, not so much tired, but just burned out. It brings about      a bone-deep weariness that has many women in bed, fast asleep, by      8:00 p.m.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Pregnancy fatigue seems insurmountable. Wake up from a two-hour      nap, and rather than feeling refreshed, you want to roll over for      another two hours. Sit down to read a book or watch television,      and within seconds you're zonked out. Just the thought of lying      down can make your eyelids heavy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e What causes this? The most likely culprits are the hormonal      changes of pregnancy. Hormone levels boomerang during pregnancy,      especially in the first few months. Another contributor is the      fact that other pregnancy symptoms-for example, having to urinate      more frequently-can interfere with your ability to get a good      night's sleep. After all, it's hard to start the day feeling      fabulous when you were up several times during the night to pee.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Stress and anxiety contribute to feelings of fatigue as well. Even      low levels of stress or anxiety wear on you, increasing fatigue      levels and making you feel less energetic. They also affect your      ability to get the rest you need. Studies show that stress and      anxiety have an effect on our ability to fall asleep, to stay      asleep, and to wake up feeling refreshed. You need to remember      that even positive things can make us feel stressed, and we all      tend to feel stress when we are experiencing change. Some of the      most stressful events in our lives are positive, such as getting      married, buying a house, getting promoted, and of course having a      baby. So even the happiest pregnant woman, if she is honest, might      acknowledge some feelings of stress in the course of her nine      months of expecting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Fatigue can have an incredibly demoralizing effect on pregnant      women-especially if you're young, healthy, and active. Many women      have never felt this kind of fatigue before, unless they've had a      bout of the flu. Active women I have worked with are shocked when      they completely lose interest in their morning swim or their      evening run, discovering that the climb up the stairs to bed at      night is the only exercise they crave. And even when your doctor      tells you that what you're feeling is normal, it's hard to imagine      that it really is. It's also depressing to think that you'll be      feeling so worn out for months and that you may have to give up      your active lifestyle. One of my patients told me after her baby      was born that she would have been better off taking her      three-month maternity leave during the first trimester, when the      brain fog of fatigue made her feel that she was completely      ineffective at work. Too bad we can't all have two maternity      leaves per baby.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The good news about pregnancy fatigue is that for most women it      lets up during the second trimester (what I call the whirling      dervish phase; you get your energy back, which is good because      this is a great time to start getting ready for the baby), and      although it can return during trimester three, it's usually not as      bad as it was during those initial weeks. But as with most      pregnancy symptoms, you can't always count on your body following      the \"typical\" schedule. For some women, fatigue can last for a      full forty weeks, while others find pregnancy brings with it a      constant energy high.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Exhaustion would just descend on Carrie in the first trimester.      She says, \"I had extreme fatigue. I would hit a wall and need to      sleep immediately. I didn't drive during that time, because I      would be so overcome.\" Later in her pregnancy, Carrie would take      naps when tired, but she wasn't hit with the same bone-crushing      fatigue that got her in the first trimester.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Impish Insomnia\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e With all that fatigue, it might seem counterintuitive that most      pregnant women experience insomnia. After all, when you are      exhausted, sleep should come easily. Unfortunately, this isn't the      case during pregnancy. Insomnia is one of the most frequently      reported symptoms during pregnancy but also one of the least      talked about. Getting up in the night to pee does not usually      result in falling back to sleep immediately, because your mind      tends to take over and you find yourself lying in bed, thinking      and worrying and planning. Many of my patients find this so      frustrating. They are exhausted and they crave sleep, but they lie      in bed and worry that they aren't sleeping. There are many ways to      learn how to sleep better during pregnancy, however, and we devote      a chunk of chapter 5 to specific non-medication solutions. The      main thing to focus on is to recognize that most pregnant women      have problems getting a good night's sleep but there are ways to      overcome your insomnia.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Anne was able to nap when she was tired, but when she was about      seven months pregnant, she and her partner were in the process of      buying a new home. This had her worrying about house issues as      well as baby ones. \"I would wake up at 3:00 a.m. and not be able      to go back to sleep. I'd start thinking about questions and would      Google them on my iPad. I'd go from link to link to link and get      caught up in a whirlwind of things I probably didn't want to read      about. I also couldn't get totally comfortable in bed. I had a      wishbone pregnancy pillow (among others); my husband had a sliver      of the bed, and the rest of it was pillows and me. Some days, I'd      wake up early in the morning and just start thinking, then I'd      fall back to sleep around 5:00 or 6:00. It's a good thing I could      switch my work schedule to go in later, or I don't know how I      would have managed with not being able to sleep and working.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Nasty Nausea\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Next up on the pregnancy symptom hit parade is nausea. Personally,      I refuse to refer to this noxious ordeal as \"morning sickness\"      because I had it during both my pregnancies, and believe me, I      wish it only transpired in the morning. Unfortunately, it can come      on at any time of day (or all day). The low point of my second      pregnancy? When my four-year-old realized that she could count the      number of times I vomited. As in, \"Guess what, Daddy? Mommy threw      up seven times!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Nausea occurs most often in early pregnancy, although for an      unfortunate few it lingers longer. Typically, it disappears after      the first trimester, when your body starts to get used to your      hormone levels zigzagging all over the place. Some women have only      occasional feelings of nausea. But others get extremely nauseated,      with waves of discomfort accompanied by vomiting.","brand":"Tarcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46302352277733,"sku":"NP9780399173134","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780399173134.jpg?v=1767726890","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/products\/finding-calm-for-the-expectant-mom-isbn-9780399173134","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}