A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy

“Speculative John Green vibes live in these pages!” —BuzzFeed

You’ve Reached Sam meets John Hughes in a funny and heartfelt debut about a boy’s delirious summertime quest with his ex-girlfriend.

The summer after senior year should have been a time for Cam to party and hang out with his friends. It should also have been a time for him to win back the love of his life, Allison Tandy, who'd dumped him so brutally the year before.

But it quickly becomes clear that this summer is going to be worse than a failure for Cam. It's going to be a tragedy.

Ally is left comatose after a terrible car crash, then Cam tears his ACL in a basketball accident. The operation leaves him in agony, confined to his couch and ruminating over the fact that his ex may not survive.

But when (after taking his medication) Cam starts seeing Ally, he starts to think: 1. He may be headed for a complete mental breakdown and 2. This summer might just be interesting afterall.

Brimming with honesty and humor, A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy interrogates how much control we really have over matters of love—and life.Praise for A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy:

“Funny and charming.” —TIME

“Speculative John Green vibes live in these pages!” —BuzzFeed

“Full of wit and emotion, sarcasm, and teenage antics. Endearing and touching.” —Booklist

“A fun, fast-paced coming-of-age story with an unusual twist.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Bishop employs snappy prose and witty banter to deliver a smart tale about a teen learning how to get out of his own way.” —Publishers Weekly

“This contemporary has our hearts.” —The Honey POP

“Wildly entertaining and heart-wrenching all at once. Between an admirably snarky apparition and the chaos of graduating high school, A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy is perfectly tumultuous in the way only the teenage experience can be.” —Chloe Gong, New York Times bestselling author of These Violent Delights
 
“A pitch perfect debut. Jeff Bishop’s fresh voice deftly captures the gut churning angst of heartbreak and how difficult it is to see our own role in it. With all of its hallucinatory hilarity, you won’t feel the lump in your throat sneak up on you until it’s too late to get that box of tissues and a weighted blanket. You may never get over Allison Tandy.” —Jenni Hendricks and Ted Kaplan, authors of Unpregnant
 
“A brilliant mix of heart and humor. A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy grabbed me from the first sentence and never let go. Jeff Bishop is a hilarious new voice in YA fiction!” —Cameron Lund, author of The Best Laid Plans
 
“Bishop has succeeded where many have tried and failed: getting me to empathize with a straight teenage boy. I loved this hilarious and totally original story of heartbreak and healing.” —Gabby Noone, bestselling author of Layoverland
 
“A refreshing, earnest and funny debut novel where nothing is off-limits. Without a doubt, A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy will leave teen readers wanting more.” —Suzanne Park, author of Sunny Song Will Never Be Famous and The Perfect Escape
 
“I was hooked from the very first chapter.” —Margot Wood, author of Fresh
 
“Sincere and hilarious at the same time, A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy is an absolute standout. Jeff Bishop perfectly captures the pain of teen heartbreak, and eases it with a heavy dose of quick wit and charm.” —Phil Stamper, bestselling author of The Gravity of Us

“Witty, unflinching, and with a poignancy that builds right up until the last page when you realize you are crying, A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy is a master class in voice and dialogue. Is this debut novel contemporary, a romcom, a comedy, a drama, a work of speculative fiction? It is all of these, and none of these, and it does not matter. A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy is a truly wonderful debut.” —Lillie Lainoff, author of One For All

“The definitive YA breakup book.” —Liz Lawson, author of The Lucky Ones and co-author of The Agathas

“Parents will hate it . . . teens will love it.” —Dante Medema, author of Message Not Found and The Truth ProjectJeffrey Bishop is a debut author, an inside boy, and not to be trusted. According to his exes, he is the “Expert in Healthy Relationships.” (Do not vet that). Jeff uses humor to mask his fear of vulnerablity. He lives in Chicago.

1

If I were to ask you “Where is the worst place to run into an ex?” you might say “the supermarket” or “on a date with somebody else” or maybe even “at a family reunion.” To which I would reply, (1) “wrong,” (2) “wrong,” and (3) “for the love of God, man, stop hooking up with your cousin.”

There is a right answer, by the way.

I can tell you—-with absolute certainty—-the worst place to run into an ex is inside your own home, while you are splayed across the bathroom floor, neck--deep in porcelain, your stomach hollowed out like the inside of a snare drum.

Should I elaborate?

Say you’re me. (Hi, I’m Cam.) You’re a senior in high school, just two weeks from graduating. Best time of your life, or so you’ve been told. Results may vary.

Say you’re head over heels in love with a girl—let’s call her, oh, I don’t know, Ally. You and this Ally had been dating for over a year. Everything with you guys was good—no, better than good. Phenomenal. Stupendous. Second to none.

Say that very same girl blindsided you, ending things abruptly and without explanation. Shredding your heart in the process. Real hatchet job. I’ve been thinking about this for a while . . . It’s not you, it’s me . . . I still want us to be friends. She played all the hits.

That was in January. Now it’s late May. The two of you haven’t spoken since. Not even a text.

Say a couple months after the split, you found out she was seeing someone else. But not just any someone else. The very some-one else who you’d always known had a thing for her. Who she swore to you was “just a friend.”

Here’s where it gets fun.

Say that ex (you know, the one with the hatchet) was driving home from school one afternoon in late March when suddenly—-inexplicably—-she lost track of the road. Wrapped the hood of her car around an oak tree at the bottom of the Shermer Ravines. The skid marks are still there, branded on the pavement. So is the puncture her sedan left in the guardrail.

Say she’s been in a coma ever since, confined to a hospital bed just a few miles up the road. Unable to walk, talk, or breathe without the assistance of a ventilator. Unable to—-hypothetically—-materialize out of thin air. Inside your bathroom. At three in the morning.

So I’ll ask again: Where is the worst place to run into an ex?

The answer? Anywhere.