{"product_id":"you-know-youre-40-when-isbn-9780767917391","title":"You Know You're 40 When...","description":"Are you almost over the hill?  Know someone who is?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGetting older is no fun, but it sure can be funny.  How do you know when you’re approaching the big 4-0? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHere are a few clues:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e* Comb-overs are starting to make a certain kind of sense.\u003cbr\u003e* A kid you once babysat for is now your lawyer.\u003cbr\u003e* At your checkups, the doctor has begun to ask if you’re still sexually active. \u003cbr\u003e* Midnight seems awfully late.\u003cbr\u003e* You’re more interested in websites that will calculate your Body Mass Index than in Internet porn.\u003cbr\u003e* You receive two phone calls in a single week from people who want to sell you life insurance.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhether you’ve just found your first gray hair or you’re peering around the corner to your mid-life crisis, \u003ci\u003eYou Know You’re 40 When\u003c\/i\u003e… will tickle your funny bone (while you can still remember where to find it).\u003cb\u003eANN HODGMAN\u003c\/b\u003e is the author of several humor books and more than forty books for children. A frequent contributor to many national magazines, she lives in Washington, Connecticut. The first female staffer on the \u003ci\u003eHarvard Lampoon\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003cb\u003ePATRICIA MARX \u003c\/b\u003ehas been a staff writer for \u003ci\u003eSaturday Night Live\u003c\/i\u003e, created episodes for Nickelodeon, and written dozens of books and magazine articles. She lives in New York City. Hodgman and Marx have collaborated on several previous books, including \u003ci\u003e1003 Great Things About Getting Old\u003c\/i\u003e, and they have each written for \u003ci\u003eThe New Yorker\u003c\/i\u003e. Illustrator and cartoonist \u003cb\u003eTAYLOR LEE \u003c\/b\u003elives in Larchmont, New York.Introduction\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTurning forty may not be much fun—but it sure is funny.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen did your \u003ci\u003ereal\u003c\/i\u003e body get switched with this flabby, middle-aged one? Who tinkered with your metabolism behind your back? Where's the rock star you were going to be? And where did your motorcycle go? How did you end up with a minivan?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe can remember when our parents turned forty; they seemed ancient, if not middle-aged. (Ancient, middle-aged—it was all the same to us then.) Forty used to be the age of grown-ups. Now it seems more like the beginning of pretending not to be a grown-up, though it can be hard to believe this as you negotiate with a six-year-old about how many bites of pasta he has to eat before dessert.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eForty is also the age of stuff. For those of us who once wanted to backpack across Europe, this can be hard to accept, but nonetheless, forty-year-olds need dozens of shoes, state-of-the-art exercise equipment, the latest skin-care products, and most of all, closet space. They also need a book about how to turn forty.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne more thing: enjoy forty because once you turn fifty, you'll wish you could do it all over again.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou could be the hippest person on the planet, but no college kid would ever think of you as a peer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can remember thinking your parents were really, really old when they were younger than you are now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGolf is starting to seem sort of cool.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGetting pregnant without medical intervention seems terribly quaint.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou don't \u003ci\u003ecare\u003c\/i\u003e about mileage or pollution. You just want the damn SUV, okay?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA friend calls to invite you to lunch, and you reply, \"How does November 12 two years from now sound?\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou haven't added to your thong collection in quite a while.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA kid you once babysat is now your lawyer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt really\u003ci\u003e is\u003c\/i\u003e too late to change your mind and go to veterinary school.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour handwriting may still be legible to someone, but that someone is no longer you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn two years, you've never stumbled upon an episode of \u003ci\u003eSeinfeld\u003c\/i\u003e that you haven't seen already.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou'd just as soon have cereal for dinner.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSuddenly, you are overcome by the urge to come up with a new \"look\" for yourself . . . but you can't be bothered.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's not that the romance is gone, but you've definitely reached the \"his and her bathrooms\" stage of life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWatching \u003ci\u003eMystery Science Theater 3000\u003c\/i\u003e sounds so much more enticing than a night on the town.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou wonder if you can put off organizing your files for long enough that you'll die and someone else will have to do it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou got all the way to work without noticing that you were wearing one loafer and one clog.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAt your checkups, the doctor has begun to ask if you're sexually active.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour college-alumni committee seems to think you should be able to make a zillion-dollar donation.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSuddenly you can see like an eighteen-year-old! Thank you, LASIK.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSomeone offers you a seat on the bus. And you don't refuse.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou no longer look around, startled, when someone calls you Mommy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour kids are now more embarrassed by you than you are by your parents.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eThat 70s Show\u003c\/i\u003e has started hitting the 80s.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou finally admit that you hate noisy restaurants and loud parties.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou carry a tube of lip balm in every pocket.","brand":"Crown","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46304393789669,"sku":"NP9780767917391","price":11.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780767917391.jpg?v=1767744756","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/you-know-youre-40-when-isbn-9780767917391","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}