{"product_id":"worthy-of-her-trust-isbn-9781601425362","title":"Worthy of Her Trust","description":"\u003cb\u003eYou \u003ci\u003eCan \u003c\/i\u003eWin Her Back\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eFew challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eIn \u003ci\u003eWorthy of Her Trust, \u003c\/i\u003eJason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses: \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e· How to be truly and effectively transparent \u003cbr\u003e· Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths\u003cbr\u003e· What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel\u003cbr\u003e· Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored \u003cbr\u003e· The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies\u003cbr\u003e· What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like\u003cbr\u003e· The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful future\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncluding insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, \u003ci\u003eWorthy of Her Trust \u003c\/i\u003eguides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever.\u003cb\u003ePraise for \u003ci\u003eWorthy of Her Trust\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\"Can you rebuild marital trust after sexual sin? Yes, and Jason Martinkus and Stephen Arterburn will show you how. Jason and his wife, Shelley, take you on their deeply personal and spiritual journey from betrayal to trust. Read this book and apply the principles, and you, too, can regain trust in your marriage.“\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e—Dr. David Clarke, Christian psychologist, speaker, and author of I Don't Want a Divorce\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e“This book opens the reader’s eyes to the difficult truth and reality of what it takes to rebuild trust in a relationship devastated by sexual betrayal. My marriage would not have survived without God’s grace and the wisdom and essential guidance found in \u003ci\u003eWorthy of Her Trust.\u003c\/i\u003e Any man committed to winning back his wife at all costs needs to read this book!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e—Curtis, Arizona\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“No matter how tragic and seemingly irreparable your marriage may be, there is hope. My husband wanted to rebuild trust in a hopeless situation. He learned and continues to implement the amends matrix, and he has kept 242 days of the T-30 journal. We have not only experienced reconciliation, but we have been restored individually. For that I am eternally grateful! If you are both ready to let God redeem the past and help you build trust again, \u003ci\u003eWorthy of Her Trust\u003c\/i\u003e will show you how.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e—Susan, Colorado\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Finally, for one of the darkest periods of any relationship, Jason has delivered a no-nonsense, inspired approach for rebuilding shattered trust. By sharing his compassion and insight, he has opened the door for true transformation and growth. This is a must-read book if moving forward is your goal.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e—Dave, California\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Worthy of Her Trust is the go-to, step-by-step resource for professionals or anyone seeking guidance through the trust-building process. Martinkus presents a model of relationship intimacy—based on closeness and honesty—a connection that becomes both the context and motivation for the redemptive journey.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e—Bob Sklar, LMFT\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eStephen Arterburn\u003c\/b\u003e is coauthor of the bestselling Every Man series, founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily \u003ci\u003eNew Life Live!\u003c\/i\u003e national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, a licensed minister, and the author of more than one hundred books and editor of ten Bible projects. He lives in Laguna Beach, California. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eJason B. Martinkus\u003c\/b\u003e worked in the corporate world for years before becoming a national speaker for the Every Man’s Battle Workshops and president of Redemptive Living, a Denver-based counseling ministry dedicated to helping men with sexual integrity issues. He has a master’s degree in counseling from Denver Seminary.\u003cp\u003e1\u003cbr\u003e “How Can I Ever Trust You Again?”\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e There is no response sufficient to answer the question posed above, no\u003cbr\u003e response that quite matches the gravity of a question originating from a\u003cbr\u003e place so deep within that it seems almost unanswerable.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e What elements might the answer contain? Time? Space? Specific tasks?\u003cbr\u003e Counseling? Prayer? Words? Actions? Only God?\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e The answer can feel beyond reach. And restoration may seem unattainable.\u003cbr\u003e Unfortunately, amid the stress and hopeless feelings of a trustless relationship,\u003cbr\u003e many men hit the Eject button. The odds appear so stacked against\u003cbr\u003e them, they write off the relationship regardless of how many years have been\u003cbr\u003e invested.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e In my counseling office, many men tell me they feel so behind the eightball\u003cbr\u003e when it comes to restoring trust that they don’t see the point of even\u003cbr\u003e trying. In these cases, divorce occurs prematurely. There is very little attempt\u003cbr\u003e at restoration, much less the full investment of time and energy required for\u003cbr\u003e such a venture. It is terribly sad, because truth be told, these men don’t really\u003cbr\u003e know if divorce has to be the final outcome.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e In the shameful wake of their disclosure of a sexual failure (or, more\u003cbr\u003e commonly, being found out), many men can’t muster the courage to look\u003cbr\u003e beyond the carnage of the present and glimpse the horizon of what could be\u003cbr\u003e a hopeful future. If these men could only see that trust building is possible. If\u003cbr\u003e only a man could see that someday his wife would risk her heart with him\u003cbr\u003e again. Someday it would be possible that she’d have more respect and adoration\u003cbr\u003e for him than ever before.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Building trust back in a relationship damaged by sexual integrity issues\u003cbr\u003e is a culmination of all the aforementioned things—and then some. It is like\u003cbr\u003e building a sculpture out of Legos. Some of the pieces include time, energy,\u003cbr\u003e planning, vision, willingness, creativity, persistence, patience, intentionality,\u003cbr\u003e hope, failure, and commitment. That’s a lot of Legos!\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Trust building is an ongoing process that consists of multiple intentional\u003cbr\u003e factors divinely pieced together over the course of time with a heart attitude\u003cbr\u003e of humility and commitment.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e In reality, there is no formula for rebuilding trust. The process cannot be\u003cbr\u003e precisely prescribed or predicted. Trust building happens when it happens.\u003cbr\u003e What is required of the trust builder is to continue to faithfully place pieces\u003cbr\u003e into the structure, not haphazardly, but methodically. Not carelessly, but\u003cbr\u003e carefully.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e My wife, Shelley, and I gave a talk at a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers)\u003cbr\u003e group recently, and one of the women asked Shelley how she knew she could\u003cbr\u003e trust me again. Shelley’s response was simple yet incredibly complex. “I just\u003cbr\u003e knew,” she stated.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Not rocket science, huh!\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e To explain, she gave an example of one of our trust-building tools: the\u003cbr\u003e five-minute phone call rule. This rule is a mutual agreement between us that\u003cbr\u003e Shelley can call me at any time and expect me to answer the phone. Should\u003cbr\u003e I not answer, I have a five-minute window in which to call her back. Beyond\u003cbr\u003e that time frame, Shelley has the right to immediately think the worst and\u003cbr\u003e assume I am again betraying God, her, and our relationship. Any work I’ve\u003cbr\u003e done to that point to rebuild trust is in jeopardy—and she can feel that way\u003cbr\u003e without apology.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e The woman who asked the question looked puzzled. She didn’t say anything,\u003cbr\u003e but the look on her face revealed skepticism that it could be that simple.\u003cbr\u003e She looked as if she wanted to say, “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? A\u003cbr\u003e five-minute phone call rule?”\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Yes—but also no. Every phone call I get from Shelley gives me an opportunity\u003cbr\u003e to place a Lego on our trust sculpture. Every time I pick up her call,\u003cbr\u003e and she verifies my whereabouts, or every time I return her call within the\u003cbr\u003e time window, a small element of trust is built.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Over time, combined with many other Lego-placement opportunities,\u003cbr\u003e trust is gradually built and restored. Shelley began to “just know” that she\u003cbr\u003e could trust me, because she could make out the essence and form of the trust\u003cbr\u003e sculpture, which we saw as safe, secure, and verifiable.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e She could sense it, see it, and experience it.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e More than anything, though, what enabled Shelley to begin to trust me\u003cbr\u003e was recognizing and accepting her source of security in someone other than\u003cbr\u003e me. Shelley came to terms with the reality that she would be okay even if\u003cbr\u003e everything in life weren’t okay. In particular, even if I was not okay. Even if I\u003cbr\u003e was not trustworthy and never placed another Lego on our relational work of\u003cbr\u003e art, she would be okay.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Like Shelley, in order to change and engage the process of trust building,\u003cbr\u003e I, too, needed to come to terms with the truth that God was ultimately the\u003cbr\u003e change agent and healer. He is the true trust builder. He is the master architect\u003cbr\u003e and artist shaping any sculpture. If both Shelley and I lean on him for\u003cbr\u003e our journey of rebuilding our relationship, then neither of us must lean\u003cbr\u003e against each other. Because, inevitably, one of us will tire and let the other\u003cbr\u003e down. If we’re leaning on each other for our ultimate source of strength and\u003cbr\u003e comfort, we will disappoint each other.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Every time.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e And that can lead to a deep sense of hopelessness that has only one outcome:\u003cbr\u003e calling it quits.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e This point cannot be overemphasized. If we are counting on our spouse\u003cbr\u003e to ultimately fulfill, complete, and restore us, we will be perpetually disappointed.\u003cbr\u003e We will long for the next relationship, which by chance might be\u003cbr\u003e better, easier, more fulfilling, more exciting, or more secure. But probably\u003cbr\u003e not. The wise King Solomon chased the next thing over and over again and\u003cbr\u003e came up empty. He called this “chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:11).\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e If a relationship is to be restored and trust reestablished, it requires the\u003cbr\u003e master artist crafting the sculpture. We are simply responsible for placing the\u003cbr\u003e Legos. I repeat this point because there is so much confusion about what\u003cbr\u003e builds trust.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Speaking of confusion about what builds trust, our starting point must\u003cbr\u003e be to clear up some of the confusion. We must deal with some common\u003cbr\u003e misconceptions about trust building. Too often I find that people have a\u003cbr\u003e misinformed idea of how and what builds trust. It’s scary to me how often\u003cbr\u003e I hear clients quote (sometimes unwittingly) a random television series line\u003cbr\u003e or a celebrity’s theory on relationships, especially as it pertains to sexual\u003cbr\u003e integrity.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e We’re bombarded daily with messages about how fidelity in relationships\u003cbr\u003e should work. These are sitcom snapshots of how forgiveness and trust should\u003cbr\u003e look, and we are coached on how to respond to our spouse when things don’t\u003cbr\u003e go well. In the unreal entertainment world, any relational damage is quickly\u003cbr\u003e patched up in an episode or two. If that’s what you think, let me tell you\u003cbr\u003e straight that real life and real healing are nothing like that.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Part of the motivation for writing this book is to give husbands and wives\u003cbr\u003e a more accurate idea of what the process of healing trust looks like. It is long,\u003cbr\u003e arduous, messy, absolutely not formulaic, sometimes comical, often depressing,\u003cbr\u003e and always mysterious. It is a process of trial and error. Certainly there\u003cbr\u003e are similarities in the way people experience the rebuilding of trust, but at the\u003cbr\u003e end of the day, the process is \u003ci\u003eyour \u003c\/i\u003eprocess.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e As you embark on the journey of trust building, my hope is that this\u003cbr\u003e book will help you with insights and tools. I want you to understand how\u003cbr\u003e trust is built after it’s been shattered by sexual integrity issues. I also want you\u003cbr\u003e to have specific examples of how to employ these tools to maximize their effectiveness. What good are tools if you don’t know how to use them?\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e In addition, there are two other features of this book that I hope you find\u003cbr\u003e useful. At various points, you’ll find reflection and encouragement from my\u003cbr\u003e wife in sections labeled “Shelley’s Thoughts.” These sections are designed to\u003cbr\u003e give you a different angle on what’s required for effective trust building. I\u003cbr\u003e urge you to carefully read Shelley’s insights and allow her input to be a voice\u003cbr\u003e representing your wife.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Finally, my coauthor, Stephen Arterburn—respected author, counselor,\u003cbr\u003e and host of the radio program \u003ci\u003eNew Life Live\u003c\/i\u003e—offers his wisdom on the topic\u003cbr\u003e of rebuilding trust in a foreword, afterword, and a series of comments\u003cbr\u003e throughout the text that are set off as “Insight from Stephen Arterburn.” You\u003cbr\u003e will find his thoughts both challenging and encouraging as you journey\u003cbr\u003e through this book.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e So let’s dive in. But before we begin, I want to tell you the story of a man\u003cbr\u003e who totally destroyed his wife’s trust and then, by God’s grace, slowly won it\u003cbr\u003e back.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e That man is me.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WaterBrook","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46305488240869,"sku":"NP9781601425362","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781601425362.jpg?v=1767744586","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/worthy-of-her-trust-isbn-9781601425362","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}