Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place?

Ever get the feeling that your coworkers don't understand you?
Misunderstanding through poor communication is rampant in theworkplace, yet most workers just shrug their shoulders and acceptmisunderstanding as a fact of life. In Why Didn't You Say thatin the First Place?, the author offers a path to clearcommunication by demonstrating how we can always reach full mutualunderstanding with others by using the power of plain talk in asystematic way.

You'll discover:
* Why nobody understands you
* Why misunderstanding is normal
* The power of strategic talk
* Communicating when understanding is critical
It is full of anecdotes, illustrations, sample conversations, andchecklists to show readers how misunderstandings can be preventedin everyday settings.

Preface xi

Acknowledgements xvii

The Author xix

Part One Why Nobody Understands You

1 For Your Ears Only: Why Misunderstanding Is Normal 3

2 Beyond Mind Reading: The Power of Strategic Talk 24

Part Two How You Can Increase the Odds in Your Favor

3 When Words Are Deeds: Talk That Make Work Happen 51

4 Hearing Is Believing: Talk and the Written Word 72

5 Differences That Make a Difference: Talking Across Stereotypes 92

Part Three What Your Organization Can Do to Help

6 Building a Culture That Supports Understanding 113

7 Communicating When Understanding Is Critical 135

8 Creating a New Accountability 155

References 175

Index 177

"Easy to read...easy to use...clear and concise...a practical guidethat empowers the reader with techniques and strategies thatguarantee true communicative understanding in all areas of one'slife." --Freddie Gershon, lawyer, producer, chair and CEO,Music Theatre International

"Understanding the art of communication is the pursuit of manyfor professional and personal reasons. Dr. Heyman gives muchinsight into this learning process." --Sharon J. Stillman,sales director, Wauwatosa Realty

"Heyman's method of communication will result in fewermisunderstandings at work and in other contexts. Engagingly writtenand fun to read, this volume is a worthwhile addition to yourhow-to library." --Long Island magazine

"Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place is a book that willhelp us all to be understood at work -- and to avoid unproductive,costly, and frustrating misunderstandings." --CommunicationBriefings

"The three biggest problems in the world today arecommunications, communications, and communications. Why Didn't YouSay That in the First Place? hits those problems straight on.Richard Heyman gives you sound advice on how to lessen thefrequency and negative results of misunderstandings. This is animportant book for all." --Ken Blanchard, coauthor, The OneMinute Manager

"This book will help all members of an organization, from theCEO to the mail room clerk, to communicate more effectively."--Mary Anne Fitzpatrick, past president, InternationalCommunication Association

"Anyone who wants to be clearly understood can't afford to missthis book. Clear communication goes straight to the bottom line."--Cliff Fletcher, president and general manager, Toronto MapleLeaf Hockey Club, and member of the Board of Governors, NationalHockey League RICHARD HEYMAN is a specialist in the use of language in everyday life, a professor at the University of Calgary, and president of Richard Heyman Associates, a business communications consulting company. He lives in Calgary, Canada. Welcome to the Information Age...an age in which miraculous machines help us communicate at lightning speed with people throughout an office, throughout a corporation and throughout the world. Never before have the avenues of expression at our disposal been so immediate, so far-reaching or so varied. But as surely as these technological marvels heighten our ability to inform and interact, so do they increase the chances for costly miscommunication. In Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place?, Richard Heyman breaks the business communications barrier that leads to unnecessary misunderstandings. Drawing on his academic background in conversation analysis and his real-world experience addressing business communication problems, Heyman provides a practical, hands-on method of making sure what you meant to say is clearly understood by all. Here, in lively, down-to-earth language, Heyman explains how to- Overcome the ambiguities of language and use our skills as both speaker and listener to create shared meaning,- Rise above stereotypes and use strategic talk to communicate with everyone at work,- Learn to systematically use questions, examples, and paraphrasing in everyday conversations,- Build a workplace culture that encourages people to say, without fear, I don't understand. Using anecdotes, checklists, and examples taken from actual organizational transcripts as learning tools, this book gives you the power to ensure that your point -- whether spoken or written -- always comes across loud and, most importantly, clear. "The three biggest problems in the world today are communications, communications, communications. Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place hits those problems straight on." —Ken Blanchard

Ever get the feeling that your co-workers don't understand you? Do others expect you to make sense of what they say even when they are not precise? Misunderstanding through poor communication has gone rampant in the workplace, yet most workers just shrug their shoulders and accept misunderstanding as a fact of life.In Why Didn't You Say that in the First Place?, Richard Heyman demonstrates how we can always reach full mutual understanding with others by using the power of plain talk in a systematic way. Heyman shares anecdotes and illustrations, sample conversations and checklists to show readers how misunderstandings can be prevented in everyday settings.While faxes, e-mail, and voice mail may make it easier to disseminate information in today's business world, Heyman makes a strong case that there is no substitute for clear communication.