When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

"Once in a generation, a book comes along that alters the way society views a topic. When Children Grieve is an essential primer for parents and others who interact with children on a regular basis." — Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University and U.C. Irvine

The first—and definitive—guide to helping children really deal with loss from the authors of the The Grief Recovery Handbook

Following deaths, divorces, pet loss, or the confusion of major relocation, many adults tell their children “don’t feel bad.” In fact, say the authors of the bestselling The Grief Recovery Handbook, feeling bad or sad is precisely the appropriate emotion attached to sad events. Encouraging a child to bypass grief without completion can cause unseen long-term damage.

When Children Grieve helps parents break through the misinformation that surrounds the topic of grief. It pinpoints the six major myths that hamper children in adapting to life’s inevitable losses. Practical and compassionate, it guides parents in creating emotional safety and spells out specific actions to help children move forward successfully.

To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregivers. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.In When children Grieve, John W James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss.There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference. For example:

• Listen with your heart, not your head. Allow all emotions to be expressed, without judgment, criticism, or analysis.
• Recognize that grief is emotional, not intellectual. Avoid the trap of asking your child what is wrong, for he or she will automatically say "Nothing."
• Adults -- Go first. Telling the truth about your own grief will make your child feel safe in opening up about his or her own feelings.
• Remember that each of your children is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss event.
• Be patient. Don't force your child to talk.
• Never say "Don't feel sad" or "Don't feel scared. "Sadness and fear, the two most common feelings attached to loss of any kind, are essential to being human.

"In my 25 years of training family therapists, I have never seen a more useful tool for helping children deal with loss." - Edwin S. Cox, Ph.D., President Emeritus, Phillips Graduate Institute

"Once in a generation, a book comes along that alters the way society views a topic. When Children Grieve is an essential primer for parents and others who interact with children on a regular basis." - Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University and U.C. Irvine

"There isn't anyone in life who hasn't experienced some kind of loss. It's comforting to know that we are not alone in our sadness and that practical, easy-to-read, thoughtful help is available by way of Russell Friedman, John James, and Leslie Landon Matthews' gentle insights on the pages of When Children Grieve. Thank you, Neighbors, for your obvious care." - Fred Rogers, Producer/Host Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and Honorary Chairman of The Caring Place (a center for grieving children, adolescents, and their families).

“There isn’t anyone in life who hasn’t experience some kind of loss. It’s comforting to know that we are not alone in our sadness and that practical, easy-to-read, thoughtful help is available by way of Russell Friedman, John W. James, and Leslie Landon Matthews’ gentle insights on the pages of When Children Grieve. Thank you, Neighbors, for your obvious care.” - Fred Rogers, Producer/Host Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and Honorary Chairman of The Caring Place (a center for grieving children, adolescents, and their families).