Undead and Unwed

“The found-family vampire Hallmark movie I didn’t know I needed.”—Jenna Levine, USA Today best-selling author of My Roommate Is a Vampire

Bridget Jones’s Diary meets What We Do in the Shadows in this bitingly  funny  supernatural romance about a vampire finding herself and falling in love during the Christmas season.

Tiffenie may be three hundred years old, but she’s still a hot mess. The vampire is tragically single, works a dead-end job at a blood bank, and spends her nights marathoning Hallmark Channel movies with her cat.

When Tiffenie inherits a fixer-upper home in Valentine, Vermont, thanks to a case of mistaken (okay, stolen) identity, she seizes the chance to get her life back on track. With her newly undead neighbor (it was an accident!) in tow, Tiffenie is determined to live out her holiday rom-com dreams in this picture-perfect town.

But between the mystery of her stolen identity, small-town drama, and the arrival of her insufferable vampire ex-boyfriend Vlad, getting her happily ever after with a hot Christmas tree farmer won’t be easy. To uncover what she truly desires, Tiffenie must embark on a journey of self-acceptance for the first time in her immortal life. Luckily, it’s never too late to start therapy.“Tschida’s paranormal romantic comedy twists holiday tropes to create a unique small-town love story.”—Heather Miller Cover, Library Journal

“Fans of cheesy holiday movies, True Blood, and small-town romances will definitely be intrigued by this mash-up of genres.”—Lindsey Allen, Booklist

“Blackmail, small-town minds, and mean girls meet found family, true love, and Hallmark happiness in this campy, little-bit-steamy, and entertaining tale.”—First Clue

“Tiffenie’s quirky inner narration is so strong. The novel has all the makings of the Hallmark holiday love story Tiffenie longs for.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Full of hilarity, hijinks, and so much heart, Undead and Unwed is the found-family vampire Hallmark movie I didn’t know I needed.”—Jenna Levine, USA Today best-selling author of My Roommate Is a Vampire

“Undead and Unwed is the Hallmark vampire movie I never knew I needed, full of laugh-out-loud dialogue, unforgettable characters, and poignant moments. I was rooting for Tiffenie to figure out her life—her undeath?—the entire wild ride.”—Amanda Elliot, USA Today best-selling author of Love You a Latke

“Don’t miss Tschida’s quirky Christmas novel that’s full of heart and bites in the best way. If you love Hallmark movies and vampires, this adorable book is for you!”—Roselle Lim, author of Natalie Tan’s Book of Luck and Fortune

“Interview with the Vampire meets a Hallmark movie? Sign me up! Undead and Unwed is uniquely and darkly delicious, with laugh-out-loud humor and characters so perfectly flawed you can’t help but root for them. Sam Tschida’s voice shines through in every word. You’ll be completely drawn in to this small town with its charming festivals, delightful locals, and cozy, holiday-fueled blood lust. Prepare to be delighted!”—Denise Williams, author of Just Our Luck

“A bloody good time! Sam Tschida’s writing is a master class in voice and wit. Undead and Unwed is a hilarious, biting, and wildly entertaining novel about finding yourself at literally any age!”—Ellie Palmer, author of Anywhere with You Sam Tschida is the founder of Smut University and writes rom-coms and mysteries while braving the Minnesota winter. She is the author of Siri, Who Am I?, Undead and Unwed, and Errands and Espionage.With a basket filled with plump rolls, I donned my red velvet cloak and headed out the door. Tyrone’s place was close enough to walk, but I took the hearse. For all its charm, the walkability score in rural Valentine was abysmal.

Tyrone’s house was a gorgeous log cabin nestled in a stand of trees, with a welcoming porch wrapped in twinkle lights and garlands. All of his farming equipment was parked out front: a snow mobile, a four-wheeler, and his St. Nicholas Farms pickup. He probably wore cute outfits to ride in each one.

Tyrone opened the door in a pair of sweatpants and a Transylvania County Fair T-shirt.

“Transylvania?” I read my homeland’s name on his T-shirt like it was a sign from God.

“Transylvania County, North Carolina,” he said, with an emphasis on North Carolina, which he drawled out more than usual.

“Are there vampires?” I stuttered a little.

He laughed like the idea was funny. “My hometown is all sugar and spice. Just like you, Tiff.” He pressed his hand to the small of my back and ushered me into his home.