{"product_id":"the-wife-of-willesden-isbn-9780593653739","title":"The Wife of Willesden","description":"\u003cb\u003eZadie Smith's first time writing for the stage, a riotous twenty-first century translation of Geoffrey Chaucer's classic \u003ci\u003eThe Wife of Bath\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Married five times. Mother. Lover. Aunt. Friend.\u003cbr\u003e She plays many roles round here. And never\u003cbr\u003e Scared to tell the whole of her truth, whether\u003cbr\u003e Or not anyone wants to hear it. Wife\u003cbr\u003e Of Willesden: pissed enough to tell her life\u003cbr\u003e Story to whoever has ears and eyes . . .”\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In her stage-writing debut, celebrated novelist and essayist Zadie Smith brings to life a comedic and cutting twenty-first century translation of Geoffrey Chaucer’s classic \u003ci\u003eThe Wife of Bath\u003c\/i\u003e. \u003ci\u003eThe Wife of Willesden\u003c\/i\u003e follows Alvita, a Jamaican-born British woman in her mid-50s, as she tells her life story to a band of strangers in a small pub on the Kilburn High Road. Wearing fake gold chains, dressed in knock-off designer clothes, and speaking in a mixture of London slang and patois, Alvita recalls her five marriages in outrageous, bawdy detail, rewrites her mistakes as triumphs, and shares her beliefs on femininity, sexuality, and misogyny with anyone willing to listen.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eA thoughtful reimagining of an unforgettable narrative of female sexual power, written with singular verve and wit, \u003ci\u003eThe Wife of Willesden\u003c\/i\u003e shows why Zadie Smith is one of the sharpest and most versatile writers working today.“Rollicking . . . It’s hard to imagine anyone not having a good time while reading \u003ci\u003eThe Wife of Willesden\u003c\/i\u003e or seeing it performed. It’s a pleasure to watch Smith refresh a masterpiece of English literature with the vitality and sheer verbal relish of contemporary vernacular speech.” —\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eBoston Globe \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Astonishingly clever and entertaining . . . Smith's text, spiked with raucous and often erotic satire, is almost a direct transposition of ‘The Wife of Bath's Tale,’ with an updated cast featuring Nelson Mandela, Black Jesus, Alvita's pious aunt, the minister of a local megachurch and all five of Alvita's hapless husbands. ‘The Wife of Bath's Tale,’ originally commentary on 14th-century sexual politics, is surprisingly relevant today. And Alvita is perfectly positioned, just like Alyson in her day, to galvanize those who could use a little more wildness in their lives.” —\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eShelf Awareness\u003c\/i\u003e (starred review) \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A triumph of dramatic creativity . . . a total delight. Highly recommended.” —\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eLibrary Journal\u003c\/i\u003e (starred review)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eZadie Smith\u003c\/b\u003e is the author of the novels \u003ci\u003eWhite Teeth\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eThe Autograph Man\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eOn Beauty\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eNW\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eSwing Time\u003c\/i\u003e, as well as a novella, \u003ci\u003eThe Embassy of Cambodia\u003c\/i\u003e, three collections of essays, \u003ci\u003eChanging My Mind, Feel Free\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eIntimations\u003c\/i\u003e, and a short story collection, \u003ci\u003eGrand Union.\u003c\/i\u003e She is also the editor of \u003ci\u003eThe Book of Other People\u003c\/i\u003e. Zadie was elected a fellow of the Royal Society of Literature in 2002, and was listed as one of Granta's 20 Best Young British Novelists in 2003 and again in 2013. \u003ci\u003eWhite Teeth\u003c\/i\u003e won multiple literary awards including the James Tait Black Memorial Prize, the Whitbread First Novel Award and the Guardian First Book Award. \u003ci\u003eOn Beauty\u003c\/i\u003e was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize and won the Orange Prize for Fiction, and \u003ci\u003eNW\u003c\/i\u003e was shortlisted for the Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction. Zadie Smith is currently a Member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters. She is a regular contributor to \u003ci\u003eThe New Yorker\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eThe New York Review of Books\u003c\/i\u003e.We are inside the Colin Campbell, a small pub on the Kilburn High Road. The sun is setting on the celebrations of the announcement: Brent is to be the Borough of Culture for 2020. People are pouring into the pub for refreshment and rest. A large banner above the bar reads: 'The Kilburn High Road Pub Crawl'. Another sign reads: 'BRENT BOROUGH OF CULTURE: 2020'.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Campbell is a quiet pub, usually occupied by a few all-day lone drinkers, but today these old men in their wrinkled suits are suddenly inundated by a colourful crowd. There's been dancing; some people are in carnival-like costume; there are people in their national dress, families, teenagers, lovers. Every possible kind of person. The bar staff struggle to serve the influx of people and seat them all, but after a bit of a kerfuffle, most have a table, and now begin opening packets of crisps, or their own tubs of home-made food ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere is, in one corner, a little makeshift stage, with a home-made sign hanging behind: 'Celebrating Local Stories'. A red-headed young man with his back to the audience has a video camera on a stand, ready to film whoever comes up to talk - but people seem reluctant. Music is playing, footie is on the TV, we can't hear the people, but we see lots of little local dramas and conversations playing out, and may notice one especially striking woman, ALVITA, WIFE OF WILLESDEN. She's settling seating arguments, she's handing over pints to people who can't reach the bar, laughing and joking with everyone ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn one corner, the AUTHOR sits, quieter than the rest, with a laptop on her table.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUTHOR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt was the summer of 2019.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI was back home, checking the local scene\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd the whole neighbourhood was in the streets\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo celebrate the recent local feat:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWinning the London Borough of Culture.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCall it a pilgrimage: all together\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe crawled down Kilburn High Road, until we\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eReached the Colin Campbell. We drank. Polly\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBailey, who runs it, suggested a\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWHOLE CAST\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLOCK-IN!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePUBLICAN POLLY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet's get our drink on with the whole block.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd, wait, listen: here's what we're gonna do:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrom right now till ... let's say ... half past two\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe'll have a little contest. Your stories\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOn that stage. I'll be the judge and MC.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd when everyone's told their tale, the best\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne will receive a full English Breakfast\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTomorrow morning, on the house. With chips.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAll cheer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUTHOR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEveryone got on their open-mic tip ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe had all types of people in that night,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYoung and old, rich and poor, black, brown and white -\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut local: students, merchants, a bailiff,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePeople from church, temple, mosque, shul. And if\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere's a person in Brent who doesn't think\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTheir own life story isn't just the thing\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo turn into a four-hundred-page book\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI'd like to meet them. So off they went. Look\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAt them.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe see people encouraging each other up to tell short stories from their life, and the reaction of the crowds.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    All telling their stories. Mostly\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMen. Not because they had better stories\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut because they had no doubt that we should\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHear them. The night wore on. I wondered: Would\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA woman speak? And one or two did. But\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike the men - like most of us - they said what\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey thought others wanted to hear. Or lied,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOr humble-bragged, or said the nice, polite\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eClichŽd things that nice people like to say ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe see a man and woman on the stage together and we hear the following snippet.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFEMALE SPEAKER\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe's just 'the one' - we get married in May.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe's like my rock? Wouldn't you say so, Steven?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMALE SPEAKER\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYeah: everything happens for a reason\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd we're just meant to be! Our stars aligned.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFEMALE SPEAKER\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's Fate! (Our gift registry's online.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUTHOR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSome said 'brave' things that took no bravery\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo say, or were dull, or didn't move me -\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOr spoke about their 'journeys' with an air\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOf triumph. I was starting to despair ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThen I saw Alvita. That is: the Wife\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOf Willesden. And the story of her life's\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWorth hearing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRYAN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTho' she's a bit deaf herself\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn one ear ... but otherwise in good health.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWINSTON\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd skilful! Makes her own clothes, every stitch.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's not Armani - that's Alvita!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eASMA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e           Rich\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe is not. But she never passed a Big\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIssue vendor without chucking a quid\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTheir way.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWINSTON\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCuss you if you don't.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eZAIRE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e           Fake gold chains\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAre her jewellery of choice. She drips like rain.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDARREN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHer underwear is dramatic - and red.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike the soles of her knock-off 'Choos'. It's said\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe looks bold. She gives side-eye perfectly.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eZAIRE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   She's been that bitch since 1983.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRYAN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd yeah, she's been hitched five times to five men.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWINSTON\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e(Without counting back-in-the-day bredrin.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eASMA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut we don't need to get into that now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe's a well-travelled woman. She allows\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHerself adventures. Self-care is her truth.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe's been Ibiza, Corfu, Magaluf.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDARREN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe likes to wander. Hates to be tied down.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith that gap-toothed smile she strides around town\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDressed to impress.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eZAIRE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  Wears an isicholo:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA big Zulu hat. She's not Zulu, no ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut let woman have her hat!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWINSTON\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e        And a skirt\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat shows her shape.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDARREN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd them shoes that will hurt\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou if you're in her way.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eASMA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e    She's not just fierce\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThough. She's sweet and wise. Cupid's dart has pierced\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHer so often, she's an expert on love.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDARREN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBeen there, done that. This one knows it all, bruv.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe see ALVITA being ushered towards the little stage, but she refuses it, and instead takes her rightful place, centre stage in the Colin Campbell. The pub turns black: there is a theatrical spotlight upon her. But before she speaks, the scene freezes while the AUTHOR gives her Chaucerian apologia ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUTHOR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut before she starts, a word to the wise:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNot a trigger warning, exactly, but\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA proviso: it's not my tale. I just\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCopied it down from the original.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI could make stuff up and rewrite it all\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut that would surely defeat the purpose,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd if Alvita does make you nervous\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's worth remembering - though I'm sure you know -\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen wives spoke thus six hundred years ago\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou were all shocked then. The shock never ends\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen women say things usually said by men ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd one last thing: if you spot yourself and\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThink I've made you posher or more common\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThan you'd like: sorry. I've got a good ear,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut I can only write down what I hear ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Wife of Willesden's Prologue\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA reanimates and the AUTHOR withdraws to her table. Throughout the Prologue, ALVITA regularly breaks the fourth wall, speaking to the real audience as much as the pub one. Her accent is North Weezy with moments of deliberate poshness as well as frequent lapses into Jamaican patois and cockney for comic effect. She is a world-class raconteur. She begins:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet me tell you something: I do not need\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAny permission or college degrees\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo speak on how marriage is stress. I been\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMarried five damn times since I was nineteen!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrom mi eye deh a mi knee. But I survived,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThank God, and I got to say, of the five,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNone of them were total wastemen. But last\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWeek ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAt this point the lights come up again, but there is something surreal about the new lighting in the pub, as if we are in a magical, liminal space between storytelling, memory and reality. The pub people react and laugh and groan like an audience, but they are often roped into the performance, too. Some of these moments are explicitly noted below, but a director should feel free to use the PUB CHORUS to animate and dramatize as many of Alvita's stories as they see fit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI'm with my Auntie P, yeah, and she starts\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn on her Bible talk:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUNTIE P\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e       Yuh nuh know Christ\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHim a wedding guest one time in him life?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn Cana, Galilee? Please, niece, beg yuh\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTell me what you do the opposite for?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow come you believe you can get wedded\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFive times? Lawd knows how many times bedded!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTink when Jesus met the Samaritan,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBy dat well: 'member how he cuss her, man,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHim seh, 'Woman, you been married five times\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlready. You can't say this man ah fi mi\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBecause nutten nuh go so. Not at all.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd I was like, look, Auntie, you can bawl\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMe out, but I still don't even get why\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe said that? She married the first five guys.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo why not six? Is there a set limit?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith me, I'm almost fifty-five, innit,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd if there is a right number of men,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's news to me. Is it six or eight? Ten?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn my view, people got too much to say;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey chat rubbish. But from my Bible days\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI know it says:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe hear church music and see church lighting, and we meet PASTOR JEGEDE in the middle of a sermon. AUNTIE P and KELLY are listening intently.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e      'Go forth and multiply.'\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI remember the bits that weren't too dry ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd isn't it that God said when they married:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA husband must leave his old family,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd link up mind, body and soul-\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith me! Yep. Nothing about bigamy\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn there, or more-gamy-than-that (cough, cough).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo how come some people slagging me off?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNah, I'm not having it. Count the pickney\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd women of Marley. How 'bout Stevie?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow, you know Stevie's had more than one wife!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBlindness don't stop him enjoying his life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI should be so lucky as Bob Marley.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRita? Miss Jamaica? He had plenty\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWoman, and I'm sure he had a good time\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith them all, back in the day. And that's fine.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut let's also thank God for my five men:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIan, Darren, Winston, Elridge and Ryan.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs this is said we see Alvita's husbands, IAN, DARREN, WINSTON, ELRIDGE and RYAN - who are dotted around the pub - stand up and start looking at each other curiously. We may not notice that the fifth husband, RYAN, is the redhead with the video camera, who we can't really see: the video equipment obscures his face. When he stands it must look as if he is just doing something to his camera. After a moment they sit back down again.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e(You think five's a lot? I could've had ten!)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut I'm well choosy. I actually picked them\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor their ass-ets, different for each person.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne went to the College of North West London,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTwo went to the School of Hard Knocks. The sick\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThing about Kilburn is how we can mix\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt up with anyone? High, low. Posh, poor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe've had practice. We'll walk through any door.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd that's like me spending my time studying\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFive different husbands. You learn many things ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd, honestly, I'm up for Number Six\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhenever, wherever he feels to pitch\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUp. Serious: if Five drops dead, boom, like that:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI won't wait for my hymen to grow back.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's not me. You'll soon see me on Insta\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChucking the bouquet to the next sista ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePastor, if your man dies, you're free, innit?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo get hitched again, if you feel like it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE looks like he doesn't want to concede this point; also these questions are disturbing his service, which, in a parallel reality, is happening throughout.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAuntie P, isn't St Paul the one who said\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUNTIE P\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBetter to be married than burn up dead!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut in your church, the one on Willesden Lane\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe hear church music again, and see AUNTIE P and her SONS praying in the pub, with PASTOR JEGEDE leading the prayers.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe old Bingo place, you go fill your brain\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith judgement. Pastor chatting all that breeze:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e... Wicked Lamech, whose sin was bigamy ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow come Jacob and Abraham marry\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAgain? And I'm sure Pastor put a ring\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOn it a few times in Nigeria ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUNTIE P\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAll I know is that the Lord God him nuh\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike looseness. Him defend de marriage bond.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYeah, but Auntie, the thing is, that's just wrong?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhere do you think you read that? The Good Book?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can't show it to me. S'not there. I've looked.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAUNTIE P\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMe know him defended virginity.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow hol' up, hol' up, my dear Auntie P:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThing is: I can read just like you can read,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd I'm telling you no. It's true Paul said\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe didn't want us having sex for fun -\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut it weren't like: COMMANDMENT NUMBER ONE.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAuntie, what you call laws I call advice!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA guideline. And they all sound very nice,\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut everyone got to make their own choice\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn life. And if God in his big God voice\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWas like:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGOD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   Everyone. Asexual. NOW.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt wouldn't make no sense. Because then how's\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe expecting to make more pure virgins\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen there's nobody to give birth to them?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlease. At least St Paul wasn't all about\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCancelling things God himself hadn't called out!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe aim for chastity. This is the prize.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe contest is to be pure in God's eyes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eKELLY, Alvita's very nerdy, shy and put-upon niece, dares to raise her voice:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eKELLY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut that's not, like, meant for ... well, like, maybe -\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, girl - g'wan - say it! (That's my niece, Kelly.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eKELLY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMaybe that's not meant for everybody?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike, Mum, maybe God makes some people true\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSaints, yeah? But with some he's like: s'up to you ...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike, I totally get Jesus was pure\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAnd he was into that but are you sure\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's got to be like that for me and you?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is what I'm saying! Kelly, thank you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBottom line, Auntie, I have permission\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrom bloody St Paul himself to go fishing\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor husbands when and where I feel like it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe only thing I'm willing to admit\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs you probably have to wait till one dies\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBefore you move on, because bigamy-wise\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat'd be an issue.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePASTOR JEGEDE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e        It is clearly\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSaid, by the apostle, that purity\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs best.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYeah, but he was chatting about\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHimself! St Paul be like:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eST PAUL\/HUSBAND IAN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI won't go out\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith you. I will not come back to your place.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI won't submit to your sinful embrace.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe're not 'getting it on' on your sofa.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eALVITA\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA holy man plus a supernova\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike me? You put us together? There will","brand":"Penguin Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46305291895013,"sku":"NP9780593653739","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780593653739.jpg?v=1767742213","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/the-wife-of-willesden-isbn-9780593653739","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}