The Things You Kiss Goodbye

Fans of Sarah Dessen will love this heartbreaking story about family, loss, and the joys and disappointments of first love.

Bettina Vasilis can hardly believe it when star basketball player Brady Cullen convinces her strict father to let them date. That summer, Bettina falls in love with Brady and the freedom that comes along with him. But when school starts up again, Brady unexpectedly changes for the worse. Unable to give up on her first love just yet, she finds herself trapped in an abusive relationship.

Then she meets "Cowboy," a smoldering older guy and the last guy her father would approve. Yet he is everything Brady is not—gentle, caring, and interested in getting to know the real Bettina. When tragedy strikes, Bettina must tell her family the truth—and kiss goodbye the things she thought she knew about herself and the men in her life.

Torn between the boy everyone loves and the man she can’t have, what will she risk for a chance at real love?

• A Dangerous First Love: Brady is the town's golden boy and Bettina's first everything. But behind closed doors, his affection twists into control, leaving her bruised and confused.
• A Forbidden Romance: Cowboy is older, quiet, and everything her strict father has forbidden. He sees the real Bettina, offering a gentle kindness she’s never known.
• Strict Parents and Family Secrets: Bettina's Greek heritage comes with iron-clad rules about who she can be and who she can date, forcing her to live a double life to survive.
• A Heartbreaking Coming of Age: When tragedy shatters her world, Bettina must find the strength to confront the truth about love, loss, and the girl she’s meant to become.

Bettina Vasilis can hardly believe it when basketball star Brady Cullen asks her out, and she just about faints when her strict father actually approves of him. Over the course of the summer, Bettina falls in love with Brady . . . and with the new freedom that comes along with him.

But when school starts up again, Brady changes. What happened to the sweet boy she fell in love with? Then she meets a smoldering guy in his twenties, and this "cowboy" is everything Brady is not—gentle, caring, and interested in getting to know the real Bettina, or "Beta," as he nicknames her.

Bettina knows that breaking up with Brady would mean losing her freedom—and that it would be inappropriate for anything to happen between her and Cowboy. Still, she can't help that her breath catches when he smiles, or that she longs for the scent of his auto shop whenever she's anywhere else.

When tragedy strikes, Bettina must tell her family the truth—and kiss goodbye the things she thought she knew about herself and the men in her life.

Leslie Connor has written a lyrical, heartbreaking, and ultimately hopeful story about family, romance, and the immense power of love.

“A girl who can’t find her way out of an abusive relationship finds herself longing for an impossible one. Unforgettable with moments I wanted to reach in and hug sweet Bettina. An unforgettable book every girl should read. ” - Jen Bigheart, Westbank Community Libraries

“A well told & intricate story with a refreshingly authentic teen voice.” - Jessica Wood, author of the Emma Stories series

“Achingly honest, heartrending and redemptive.” - Mary Burkey, librarian and columnist for Booklist ("Voices in My Head") Mary Burkey, librarian and columnist for Booklist ("Voices in My Head") Mary Burkey, librarian and columnist for Booklist ("Voices in My Head")

“This is a significant book that deserves a wide readership. I love the way Connor shows the very small steps that lead to love, but what makes this an exceptionally fine read is our growing awareness that these very same steps also lead to a much darker places. Bettina learns that love is not simple—not for her, not for her family, and not even for the star high school basketball player that everyone loves.” - Ed Spicer, librarian

“Watching Bettina push against the boundaries of her strict home life to venture into relationships is like watching a lengthening crack in your windshield. You know that it won’t end well, but you want to see how far it goes. This book is definitely worth the heartbreak.” - Collette Morgan, owner of Wild Rumpus Books for Young Readers

“Connor keeps her story completely realistic with fluid prose and convincing characters. Romance fans who happen upon this will find an absorbing portrait of abuse and recovery.” - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“First-person narration brimming with emotion traces how Bettina and Cowboy’s friendship evolves... Beautifully capturing the intensity of first love, Connor (Waiting for Normal) draws readers into a world filled with Greek culture and punctuated by upsetting moments of abuse. Readers will be unprepared for the book’s shocking climax, which changes Bettina’s life forever and brings her closer to her family as she discovers who she is and what she wants.” - Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“With compassion and respect, author Connor explores the ways in which loving relationships can get twisted into cycles of misery. Be ready with the hankies; this one is a real tearjerker.” - Booklist

“Connor lets the story play out slowly, a choice that adds multiple subplots but also deepens characterization and elevates the book above simple problem-novel territory. Bettina’s situation creates much food for thought. ” - Horn Book Magazine