{"product_id":"the-sweet-spot-isbn-9780553392067","title":"The Sweet Spot","description":"\u003cb\u003eLearn how to achieve more by doing less! Live in that zone you’ve glimpsed but can’t seem to hold on to—the sweet spot where you have the greatest strength, but also the greatest ease.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Not long ago, Christine Carter, a happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and a speaker, writer, and mother, found herself exasperated by the busyness of modern life: too many conflicting obligations and not enough time, energy, or patience to get everything done. She tried all the standard techniques—prioritizing, multitasking, delegating, even napping—but none really worked. Determined to create a less stressful life for herself—without giving up her hard-won career success or happiness at home—she road-tested every research-based tactic that promised to bring more ease into her life. Drawing on her vast knowledge of the latest research related to happiness, productivity, and elite performance, she followed every strategy that promised to give her more energy—or that could make her more efficient, creative, or intelligent.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Her trials and errors are our reward. In \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot, \u003c\/i\u003eCarter shares the combination of practices that transformed her life from overwhelmed and exhausting to joyful, relaxed, \u003ci\u003eand \u003c\/i\u003eproductive. From instituting daily micro-habits that save time to bigger picture shifts that convert stress into productive and creative energy, \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot \u003c\/i\u003eshows us how to\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e • say “no” strategically and when to say “yes” with abandon\u003cbr\u003e • make decisions about routine things once to free our minds to focus on higher priorities\u003cbr\u003e • stop multitasking and \u003ci\u003egain \u003c\/i\u003eefficiency\u003cbr\u003e • “take recess” in sync with the brain’s need for rest\u003cbr\u003e • use technology in ways that bolster, instead of sap, energy\u003cbr\u003e • increase your ratio of positive to negative emotions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Complete with practical “easiest thing” tips for instant relief as well as stories from Carter’s own experience of putting \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot \u003c\/i\u003einto action, this timely and inspiring book will inoculate you against “The Overwhelm,” letting you in on the possibilities for joy and freedom that come when you stop trying to do everything right—and start doing the right things.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eONE OF \u003ci\u003eGREATER GOOD\u003c\/i\u003e’S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“[For fans] of a certain kind of self-improvement book—the kind, like \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Project \u003c\/i\u003eor\u003ci\u003e 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think \u003c\/i\u003eor\u003ci\u003e Getting Things Done,\u003c\/i\u003e that offers up strategies for making certain areas of life work better without requiring that you embrace a new belief system.”\u003cb\u003e—KJ Dell’Antonia, \u003ci\u003eThe New York Times \u003c\/i\u003e(Motherlode blog)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A breath of fresh air . . . Based on personal experiments with living life in what she calls the ‘pressure cooker,’ Dr. Carter offers advice in easily digestible nuggets.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eWorking Mother\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Carter gives actionable ways to balance your life, your health, and your career. This book is packed with smart advice and hard-earned wisdom.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eInc.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Learn more about escaping the ‘busyness trap’ and uncovering a happier, less stressed you.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eShape\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A highly readable, diligently researched advice book that offers concrete tips on how to get off the treadmill of busyness.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eGreater Good\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Chock-full of concrete tips on how to sharpen your focus, improve your efficiency, and use technology to your advantage.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eThe Week\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Illuminates the simple and sustainable path toward a precious and happy balance.”\u003cb\u003e—Deepak Chopra\u003c\/b\u003e“If you, like me, are a fan of a certain kind of self-improvement book—the kind, like \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Project \u003c\/i\u003eor\u003ci\u003e 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think \u003c\/i\u003eor\u003ci\u003e Getting Things Done,\u003c\/i\u003e that offers up strategies for making certain areas of life work better without requiring that you embrace a new belief system—then I have a new book for you . . . \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot\u003c\/i\u003e.”\u003cb\u003e—KJ Dell’Antonia, \u003ci\u003eThe New York Times \u003c\/i\u003e(Motherlode blog)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“With all the agonizing about ‘having it all,’ UC Berkeley sociologist Christine Carter, PhD, blows us a breath of fresh air with her five-step, common-sense primer \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work\u003c\/i\u003e. Based on personal experiments with living life in what she calls the ‘pressure cooker,’ Dr. Carter offers advice in easily digestible nuggets.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eWorking Mother\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Carter gives actionable ways to balance your life, your health, and your career. This book is packed with smart advice and hard-earned wisdom.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eInc.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Learn more about escaping the ‘busyness trap’ and uncovering a happier, less stressed you.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eShape\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e“A highly readable, diligently researched advice book that offers concrete tips on how to get off the treadmill of busyness.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eGreater Good\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Carter’s transformation from overwhelmed working mom to productive and relaxed human being will inspire you. [\u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot\u003c\/i\u003e] is chock-full of concrete tips on how to sharpen your focus, improve your efficiency, and use technology to your advantage.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eThe Week\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Carter translates her knowledge of the psychology and neuroscience of happiness into practical advice for navigating the demands of modern life.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003ePublishers Weekly\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Illuminates the simple and sustainable path toward a precious and happy balance.”\u003cb\u003e—Deepak Chopra\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “A gift, like a good friend drawing a personal road map out of the crazy busy swirl of our overloaded lives.”\u003cb\u003e—Brigid Schulte, author of \u003ci\u003eOverwhelmed\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “This book did something I thought was impossible: It seemed to \u003ci\u003egive me more time.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003e—Martha Beck, author of \u003ci\u003eFinding Your Way in a Wild New World\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “A page-turning thriller full of proven ways to have the life you want.”\u003cb\u003e—Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of \u003ci\u003eHardwiring Happiness\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “Timely, lively, and vital, \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot\u003c\/i\u003e is an immediately useful must-read.”\u003cb\u003e—Shawn Achor, author of \u003ci\u003eThe Happiness Advantage\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “\u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot\u003c\/i\u003e inspired me to make immediate changes that have increased my productivity and lowered my stress.”\u003cb\u003e—Dan Mulhern, president, Granholm Mulhern Associates\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “Refreshing, timely, and inspiring, \u003ci\u003eThe Sweet Spot\u003c\/i\u003e will help you focus on what really matters most.”\u003cb\u003e—Renée Peterson Trudeau, author of \u003ci\u003eThe Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “The Sweet Spot is worth finding, and Christine Carter teaches us how.”\u003cb\u003e—Lucy Danziger, co-author of \u003ci\u003eThe Nine Rooms of Happiness\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “A must-read for every overworked executive, overwrought parent, or overscheduled human being.”\u003cb\u003e—Jennifer Granholm, governor of Michigan, 2003–11\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e “Compelling and practical . . . You will learn exactly how to create a much sweeter life!”\u003cb\u003e—Christiane Northrup, M.D.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eChristine Carter, Ph.D.,\u003c\/b\u003e is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, an interdisciplinary research center that “translates” the study of happiness, resilience, and emotional intelligence for the public. The author of the bestselling \u003ci\u003eRaising Happiness\u003c\/i\u003e, Dr. Carter blogs regularly for \u003ci\u003eGreater Good, The Huffington Post, \u003c\/i\u003eand \u003ci\u003ePsychology Today\u003c\/i\u003e. She has appeared on \u003ci\u003eThe Oprah Winfrey Show, The Dr. Oz Show, Rachael Ray, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Today, \u003c\/i\u003eand NPR, and has helped thousands of people lead happier and more productive lives through her lectures and online classes. Her e-newsletters have more than fifty thousand subscribers. She lives with her husband, children, and stepchildren in Berkeley, California.Chapter 1\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFROM WORKING OVERTIME TO ENJOYING THE SEASONS\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"We are all dying, some sooner, some later. The real exception is      to truly live.\"\u003cbr\u003e—­Lee Lipsenthal, Enjoy Every Sandwich\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e A doctor friend of mine, Lee Lipsenthal, was dying from cancer,      leaving children and a beloved wife behind. He came to our monthly      Buddhism and neuroscience study group one last time to share what      his impending death had taught him. Imagine you’ve just been told      that you have less than six months to live, Lee said to us.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e What do you need to do?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Whom do you need to talk to?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Where do you need to visit?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e How will you spend your remaining time?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e As I visualized my life with a terminal illness, on the precipice      of my own death, I was profoundly struck by how totally out of      whack my (real) life had become. In fact, my primary reaction to      Lee’s death meditation was that I would feel relieved to be dying.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This realization was shocking and, frankly, embarrassing. Lee      understood, but imagine how insulting this sentiment could have      been to him. He would have given anything to be as healthy as I      was. It wasn’t that I was unhappy with my life—­far from it. But I      was overwhelmed by it. My imagined impending death released me      from the stresses of everyday life. It’s obvious to me now that I      needed a break—­a figurative and literal recess during which I      could recharge my proverbial batteries.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The trouble was (and is for so many) that I saw no way to take      that break without giving something up. I did not see any ways to      free up time for rest and reflection, nor did I see ways that I      could simplify or reorganize my life for greater ease and less      strain. But now I do.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The first part of the “sweet spot equation”—­Take Recess—­is about      starting to breathe easier right away by giving yourself tiny      moments to recharge throughout the day. I know, I know: You’re        really busy. Too busy to take any sort of break, much less      “recess.” Bear with me.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Full Plate, Empty Life\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Everyone asks: How are you? And everyone answers: I am so busy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “We say this to one another with no small degree of pride,” writes      Wayne Muller in his treatise on rest, “as if our exhaustion were a      trophy, our ability to withstand stress a real mark of character.      The busier we are, the more important we seem to ourselves and, we      imagine, to others.” Have you ever bought into this      self-­fulfilling prophecy? When we start to feel worthwhile      because of our busyness, we start to believe the corollary: If I’m      not busy, I’m not worthwhile.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Most of our modern tasks are what researchers call “instrumental.”      They aren’t fun; they are productive, stuff we “should” do, tasks      to cross off of a list. The trouble comes when we eliminate the      fun stuff in our lives, when play and rest get eliminated and we      use a “get ’er done approach” to instrumental work. This trouble      is best illuminated by a famous study by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,      the author of Flow.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Csikszentmihalyi unintentionally induced textbook cases of      generalized anxiety disorder in people simply by instructing his      subjects as follows: From the time you wake up until 9:00 p.m., he      explained, “We would like you to act in a normal way, doing all      the things you have to do, but not doing anything that is ‘play’      or ‘non-­instrumental.’ ”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Research subjects could make the beds and wash the dishes, drive      the carpool, go to work, come home and make dinner, supervise      homework and bedtime—­any of this sounding familiar?—­skipping      those moments of enjoyment in the day that bring flow or rest.      They avoided those things at work they found especially      gratifying, skipped the lovely breather they’d take when the kids      were off to school, refrained from juicy-­but-­not-­productive      sex.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Following these instructions for just forty-­eight hours produced      symptoms of serious anxiety in research subjects—­restlessness,      fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle      tension—­all by eliminating flow and play from their lives. In      other words, we get anxious when we aren’t having any fun.      Management consultant and author Dan Pink writes about what      happened to these particular research subjects:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The results were almost immediate. Even at the end of the first      day, participants “noticed an increased sluggishness about their      behavior.” They began complaining of headaches. Most reported      difficulty concentrating, with “thoughts [that] wander round in      circles without getting anywhere.” Some felt sleepy, while others      were too agitated to sleep. As Csikszentmihalyi wrote, “After just      two days of deprivation . . . the general deterioration in mood      was so advanced that prolonging the experiment would have been      unadvisable.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When we strip our lives of play and flow—­as we so often do just      to get everything done—­our mood deteriorates. Here’s the thing: A      life made up of only “instrumental” tasks was an experimental      anomaly for research subjects in the 1970s, when      Csikszentmihalyi’s study was run, but it has become the norm for      many people today. Fun, rest, relaxation, and flow have been      squeezed out of our lives in the pursuit of more. More sports and      lessons for our kids (so that they can get into the best schools      and get the best jobs when they graduate), and more work (so that      we can keep our jobs, or we can earn more money so we can buy more      stuff). We are poisoned by the hypnotic belief, writes Muller,      that “good things come only through unceasing determination and      tireless effort,” and so “we can never truly rest.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Case in point: On May 14, 2013, a twenty-­four-­year-­old “ad man”      named Gabriel Li died of a sudden heart attack at his Ogilvy \u0026amp;      Mather Beijing office. The official cause of death? Overwork. He’d      been working overtime most days the month prior to his death,      leaving the office at 11:00 p.m. He was at his desk when he died.      Though the American advertising agency where he was employed      denied that his death was linked to overwork, Li will be counted      by the Chinese government among the estimated 600,000 people in      China who die from work-­related exhaustion each year.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Deaths like Li’s are a global problem. The Japanese call sudden      death due to cardiovascular and cerebrovascular disease karoshi,      which means “death from overwork.” Sudden cardiac arrest related      to overwork happens in all industrialized nations. Stressed and      exhausted employees are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular      disease. Cortisol, a hormone that is released when we are      stressed, is a chief culprit, as it causes the arteries to narrow.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The Alternative: Produce—­and Grow—­Like Olive Trees\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e My great-­grandparents grew olives, and my brother runs the olive      processing company they started, so I’ve learned a lot about      olives over the years. Olives are an “alternate bearing crop,”      which means that they grow a lot of fruit one year, then mostly      branches the following year, creating what is called a “short      crop.” They produce less fruit in year one in order to produce a      large crop in year two. We can all learn from the olive tree. In      addition to being a symbol of peace, olives are also a metaphor      for how rest and rejuvenation are essential to productivity.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In today’s hyper-­busy world, most people don’t rest or rejuvenate      much. We don’t allow ourselves the “non-­instrumental” activities      in life. Research does find that consistent and deliberate      practice leads to elite performance (see Chapter 8 for more on      that). But focused work is not the same as unending work. Even      Olympic athletes must train and rest or they get hurt. Fruit trees      forced to produce for more than one season, without being allowed      to rest in the winter, lose their ability to bear fruit      altogether.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In our fast-­paced and technology-­driven culture, we (and our      employers) sometimes forget that we are humans, not computers.      Like other animals, humans are governed by circadian and ultradian      rhythms. Most people are familiar with the concept of our      circadian rhythms. In the twenty-­four-­hour period when the sun      rises and sets, we sleep and wake in predictable cycles. When we      travel into different time zones, our circadian rhythms get out of      whack, and as a consequence, our lives also can feel similarly      discombobulated.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Our brains and bodies also cycle in “ultradian rhythms” throughout      the day and night. An ultradian rhythm is a recurrent period or      cycle that repeats throughout the twenty-­four-­hour circadian      day, like breathing or our heartbeat.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Even in our sleep, we don’t just exist in a singular, steady      state. We cycle between dreaming and various types of      non-­dreaming sleep. There are five different stages of the sleep      cycle, each stage identifiable by different brain-­wave patterns.      For example, Stage 1 sleep is characterized by slow theta waves,      while Stage 4 sleep, which is deep and dreamless, is characterized      by even slower delta waves.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Our brain-­wave patterns also cycle when we are awake. About every      hour and a half to two hours, we experience a significant      “ultradian dip,” when our energy drops and sleep becomes possible.      When we work through these dips—­relying on caffeine, adrenaline,      and stress hormones to keep us alert instead of letting our bodies      and brains rest, we become anxious and jittery, and our      performance falters.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When we ignore our body’s natural rhythms, we create a state        of chronic jet lag for ourselves, which over time leads to      clinical levels of depression and anxiety, stress-­related      diseases, and myriad substance-­abuse problems (as we      self-­medicate to stay alert and to “rest”). As Wayne Muller      writes in his book A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When we are increasingly drained, pressed for time, and      afraid . . . we are inclined to grasp for some substitute. We are      more easily seduced by certain behaviors or possessions that      promise to give us not precisely what we dreamed, but something      that looks close enough. Most importantly, it is always the thing      we can get easier, cheaper, and faster, in an increasingly busy      life—­in the bone-­weary ache of our exhausted heart—­and this      kind of swift comfort can become irresistible.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Unfortunately, as our time and energy are spent more singularly on      work, our plate gets too full to enjoy what is on it (or falling      off of it).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Finding the “Minimum Effective Dose”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When we live our lives as though we are running one marathon after      another, day after day, it is, frankly, impossible for life to      feel anything but difficult. We know this about actual marathons;      there is a whole protocol that runners go through when they finish      a race so they can recover. They have medical and other support to      begin repairing the damage to their bodies, and they know to rest      for weeks or even months between races. Yet we don’t have parallel      support systems in place for our daily “marathons.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Instead of running one “marathon” after another with little      recovery time between them, we can learn to honor the natural      rhythms of our days and our lives. We can live more like olive      trees, which produce olives for hundreds of years, than like our      iPhones, which are built to last only a couple of years. We can      take a school day approach to life, in which we work and learn and      produce and create in predictable periods of time, and then we      have equally predictable periods of play and rest and recovery. As      in school, we take recess.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e There’s one more thing that we can learn from marathoners and      olive trees: Our most productive pace is always the most      consistent one. When we are producing and creating—­when runners      are in a race and when trees are growing fruit in the summer and      when authors like me are writing a book—­we are most successful      when we are consistent in our efforts. Long-­distance runners (and      even sprinters) are more likely to win a race if they run each      mile at a consistent pace. Expeditioners—­people who walk across      America—­are more likely to succeed, and finish far more quickly,      when they walk or trek the same distance day after day, rain or      shine. This means they try to trek twenty miles on hard days when      the weather is bad and the mileage is all uphill, and—­this is the      clincher—­they stop after twenty miles on easy days, when the      weather is mild and the terrain is downhill. Instead of      cramming—­working long hours and late nights before a big project      is due—­we human beings do best when we make consistent,      predictable, daily progress.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e These insights have translated in a few ways in my work. First,      the type of work I do cycles like the seasons. Some seasons I      focus on writing. Once a book or an article is written, I rest and      explore new topics, turning my attention to less taxing work, and      I take several weeks off and don’t write at all. This is my cycle      of creation and rest. In addition, when I’m in a production cycle,      I write consistently, 650 to 1,000 words a day. I try to write      this amount even on hard days, when I am traveling or have a lot      of meetings or my kids are home from school. And on easy      days—­when I’ve blocked off six full hours of uninterrupted time      to write—­I stop once I hit the 1,000-­word mark. For me, it is      more difficult to stop writing on easy days than it is to churn      out 650 words (basically just one rough page) on a hard day. But      here’s the thing: I’ve found that if I write more than 1,000 words      a couple of days in a row, by the third day, the writing becomes      rather joyless. Actually, it can be excruciating. I feel like I’m      trying to squeeze water from a dry sponge. If I finish my 1,000      words and still have time to write, I let myself edit, or I do      research—­both things that I find easy and joyful and that set me      up for success the next day. And ultimately, I know I’m not      slowing myself down—­that I can complete a book in about six      months (my spring and summer fruit production) at this consistent      and very manageable pace.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When we take the approach of trees and successful runners and      expeditioners, we find that we are able to live with both strength      and ease. We free up time and energy to re-energize, to connect,      and to find real and deep meaning.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Let me tell you, life seems pretty sweet to me these days, and not      because I’m Oprah-­rich and doted on by a support staff. I      frequently have profound feelings that life is really, really      good. I still feel astonished that even though I’m not working the      long hours I used to, I’m more financially independent and secure.      Consider that:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Every morning this week I rose from bed without feeling the need      to press the snooze button. After a quick trip to the loo, I did a      lovely meditation and then went for a short run or did a      seven-­minute strength-­training circuit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e After showering and eating breakfast, I got my writing brain      warmed up by reading several articles I’d clipped from various      online sources—­emails, academic journals, a couple different      blogs and online magazines. I had more time than I needed to do      this, so it felt luxurious to read and drink my coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e After getting the kids off to school, because I’d been pondering      what I wanted to write in an unfocused way as I showered and ate      breakfast, when I sat myself down in front of a huge blank pad,      ideas poured out of me in an easy, non-­linear way. I outlined      this chapter in about ten minutes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e We overachievers sometimes feel guilty when things are as easy as      my life often feels to me now. If it isn’t hard, am I actually      working? If I’m not working, am I worth anything? When I tell you      that I outlined this chapter in ten minutes, do you discount its      value, or can you begin to imagine that some of what we approach      as the hardest things can indeed be the easiest?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e These things—­getting myself out of bed, meditating and      exercising, starting my most important work first thing in the      morning rather than checking my email first—­used to be very      difficult, if not impossible, for me. I used to press snooze two      and even three times in the morning. I used to have to bribe and      cajole myself to exercise, and I rarely meditated, even though I      knew it was good for me and I had strong intentions to do it. And,      distracted by email and seemingly urgent pings for my attention, I      used to struggle to put “first things first”—­to do the work that      really mattered to me.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Moreover, I used to make these things much harder than they needed      to be. This morning I ran for only nine minutes—­while my children      pressed snooze on their alarm clocks. For a former marathon      runner, slowly jogging less than a mile a few days a week seems      pathetically unambitious. But here’s the thing: I’m now      consistently running twenty miles more per month than before I      drastically reduced my ambitions. This is because before I started      doing just a little bit of exercise each weekday morning, I was      spending a lot of time planning my exercise—­choosing a half      marathon to train for, choosing a twelve-­week training plan—­but      very little time actually exercising. What working single mom can      work out for an hour before getting her kids off to school? I know      that some people do it, but I’d venture to guess that they aren’t      as well rested as I am now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e And guess what? I’ve found what doctors (and Tim Ferriss) call the      “minimum effective dose” of exercise. I’m now stronger than I have      ever been in my life. I’m the same dress size I was before I had      my kids and when I was running marathons—­but I’m also stronger      because I’ve been doing one ridiculously unambitious      strength-­training circuit three days a week.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e My body is also different because it doesn’t hurt. I no longer      have the hip and knee problems that plagued me in my twenties when      I was running five or more hours a week but not stretching or      strength training. And I no longer get sick all of the time, even      though I’ve reached that age when people start complaining that      their body is not what it used to be.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Re-­learning to Play\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When Lee took me through the death meditation, I realized that I      was making my life much harder than it needed to be simply because      I’d lost touch with the restful and playful parts of my life. I      felt relief to be “dying” because it seemed the ultimate      permission to prioritize the meaningful stuff of life, the things      I really felt a desire to do. Which raised a really good question:      What was it that I wanted to do in my last six months of life?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e It turns out, I had no bucket list.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I could think of exciting things that I should want to do and,      given a long life, would hope to do someday. But if I had only six      months to live? I’d want to go back to the simple things that      bring me joy, like cooking dinner for my family and taking the dog      hiking with friends. I’d want to hang out with my kids reading      young adult literature, and go to movies with my husband. I’d sit      around and talk with my writer friends about their theories and      books, and I’d read cooking magazines. I’d spend more time with my      brother and his wife and their totally adorable baby. I’d want      mundane things, like playdates for my kids, whose friends I love.      I’d want to sit around and talk about weird spiritual things with      my dad. I would hang out with my closest girlfriends and favorite      couples all the time, preferably in a hot tub.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In short, these are things I already did sometimes, though much      less than I would have liked. They are everyday things, not      bucket-­list things. It’s not that I don’t want to learn to track      wild animals in Botswana—­believe me, I did. But at that moment in      which I envisioned having only six months to live, all I wanted      was to enjoy my actual life more. I wanted a little more quality      downtime.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e I realized that I was living under the assumption that part of      life is necessarily difficult. More than that, it’s stressful. I      thought life had to be hard—­that’s just the way it is. I was      living in a constant state of fight or flight, created by a      pernicious and unrelenting sense that I was not getting it all      done. My system was reacting as though my life was being      threatened when actually it wasn’t. I was living in a continual      state of alarm or exhaustion, and I didn’t have to be.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Imagining dying jolted me in a way that Lee would later lay out in      his wonderful book Enjoy Every Sandwich:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Some cures require a radical intervention of the soul: a change in      our mindset and our way of being. These cures require us to stop      racing through our busy lives, working, providing, and consuming.      Some cures require that we stop and enjoy every sandwich.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e So simple, and so obvious, and yet also so profoundly      transformational for me. Sure, I’d been trying to enjoy every      sandwich before. But with everything I had going on in my life,      sometimes that was like trying to read in a very dimly lit room.      Lee’s magical presence helped me integrate into my life insights      that I had been teaching for years. For me, Lee’s life—­and      death—­was nothing short of a “radical intervention of the soul.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e We humans have dreams and values and priorities. We love and are      loved by others. Our work and our companionship are important to      the world and the beings in it. We make","brand":"Ballantine Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46302971429093,"sku":"NP9780553392067","price":17.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780553392067.jpg?v=1767741752","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/the-sweet-spot-isbn-9780553392067","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}