{"product_id":"the-silent-gondoliers-isbn-9780345442635","title":"The Silent Gondoliers","description":"\u003cb\u003eThe return of a beloved classic, from the bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eThe Princess Bride\u003c\/i\u003e!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e“This inventive, offbeat fable has a touch of magic about it.”—\u003ci\u003eLos Angeles Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnce upon a time, the gondoliers of Venice possessed the finest voices in all the world. But, alas, few remember those days—and fewer still were ever blessed to hear such glorious singing. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo one since has discovered the secret behind the sudden silence of the golden-voiced gondoliers. No one, it seems, but S. Morgenstern. Now Morgenstern recounts the sad and noble story of the ambitions, frustrations, and eventual triumph of Luigi, the gondolier with the gooney smile.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHere, in this brilliantly illustrated exposition of the surprising facts behind this all-but-forgotten mystery, S. Morgenstern reveals the fascinating truths about John the Bastard, Laura Lorenzini, the centenarian Cristaldi the Pickle, Enrico Caruso, Porky XII, the Great Sorrento, the Queen of Corsica—and, of course, the one and only Luigi. His tale will captivate you as much as his song!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e“Where \u003ci\u003eThe Princess Bride\u003c\/i\u003e was lightheartedly brutal, this story is gently whimsical, well-complemented by Paul Giovanopoulos’s zany drawings.”—\u003ci\u003eSan Francisco Examiner-Chronicle\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e“This inventive, offbeat fable has a touch of magic about it.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eLos Angeles Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Where \u003ci\u003eThe Princess Bride\u003c\/i\u003e was lightheartedly brutal, this story is gently whimsical, well-complemented by Paul Giovanopoulos’s zany drawings.”\u003cb\u003e—\u003ci\u003eSan Francisco Examiner-Chronicle\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eWilliam Goldman\u003c\/b\u003e is an Academy Award–winning author of screenplays, plays, memoirs, and novels. His first novel, \u003ci\u003eThe Temple of Gold\u003c\/i\u003e (1957), was followed by the script for the Broadway army comedy \u003ci\u003eBlood, Sweat and Stanley Poole\u003c\/i\u003e (1961). He went on to write the screenplays for many acclaimed films, including \u003ci\u003eButch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\u003c\/i\u003e (1969) and \u003ci\u003eAll the President’s Men\u003c\/i\u003e (1976), for which he won two Academy Awards. He adapted his own novels for the hit movies \u003ci\u003eMarathon Man\u003c\/i\u003e (1976) and \u003ci\u003eThe Princess Bride\u003c\/i\u003e (1987).Until his first day at Gondoliers School, nobody knew that Luigi was\u003cbr\u003eanything out of the ordinary.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe reason nobody knew he was anything out of the ordinary was this:\u003cbr\u003enobody really knew Luigi at all.  Oh, he was popular enough.  He was\u003cbr\u003eeighteen and slender and taller than most, with black hair and eyes.  He\u003cbr\u003ewould have been handsome except he had this smile the Italians called\u003cbr\u003e\"tontone\" which is hard to translate--there is no exact equivalent in\u003cbr\u003eEnglish.  The closest I can come is this this: \"goony.\"  He had a goony\u003cbr\u003esmile.  He was strong but very gentle, and no one could ever remember\u003cbr\u003ehis having done a mean thing since he was five and, in truth, it\u003cbr\u003ecouldn't have been that mean, since no one could remember what exactly\u003cbr\u003ehe did back then.  \"Oh, yes,\" his mother would say; \"Luigi has a fine\u003cbr\u003edisposition and except for once when he was five, I have no complaints.\"\u003cbr\u003e When pressured as to what he had done she said, \"Oh, something, you\u003cbr\u003eknow how boys are.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGondoliers' School deals strictly with seamanship, and it is a\u003cbr\u003ethree-year course.  That's the minimum.  Some young men take five ore\u003cbr\u003eeven six years to get their Gondoliers Diploma.  The school is run by a\u003cbr\u003esmall staff, all retired gondoliers, and it is an honor to be a teacher.\u003cbr\u003e The only requirement to be on the staff is this: you must not just be a\u003cbr\u003eretired gondolier (preferably with thirty-five years or more of\u003cbr\u003eservice), you must also be bad tempered.  Only the cruelest quality for\u003cbr\u003eteaching positions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe reason is this: it is extraordinarily difficult to make a gondola go\u003cbr\u003esmoothly, and only experts get diplomas.  If you had a sweet-natured\u003cbr\u003efellow running the operation, he might pass a young man who wasn't good\u003cbr\u003eenough and once word got out that there was an incompetent gondolier\u003cbr\u003eworking the Grand Canal, rumors would surely spread that the caliber of\u003cbr\u003egondoliers was down.  The reason the rumor would surely spread is this:\u003cbr\u003eeveryone in Venice is jealous of the gondoliers.  It is the finest job\u003cbr\u003ein the city if not all Europe, and the highest standards must be upheld\u003cbr\u003eat all times.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe reason it is difficult to make a gondola run smoothly is that the\u003cbr\u003egondola is weird-looking boat.  It is very long--twenty-five feet--and\u003cbr\u003every heavy--thirteen hundred pounds.  It is also shaped like the bottom\u003cbr\u003eof a coffee saucer, like a mild \"U.\"  The shape is necessary because the\u003cbr\u003egondolier stands on the back of the boat and steers with his single oar,\u003cbr\u003eand if the gondola were shaped, say like a canoe, the minute the\u003cbr\u003egondolier stood on the back his weight would make the boat capsize.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere are many tests along the way during the three years, but for\u003cbr\u003ecenturies, there has only been one final exam--\"Tombolon Corner.\"  Again,\u003cbr\u003ethere is no exact equivalent for \"Tombolon\"--the closest I can come, I\u003cbr\u003eam embarrassed to say, is this: \"SPLAT.\"  SPLAT Corner is the final\u003cbr\u003eexam.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSPLAT Corner got its name because so many gondolas go SPLAT when they\u003cbr\u003etry and navigate it. It is in a very out-of-the-way part of Venice, one,\u003cbr\u003ein fact, that few natives even know about.  The two narrowest canals in\u003cbr\u003eVenice intersect, and the total turning space has been measured exactly\u003cbr\u003eat seven feet eight inches.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo take a twenty-five-foot boat and make it turn a corner seven feet\u003cbr\u003eeight inches wide is not the easiest thing in the world to do.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOn the first day of Gondoliers' School, in order to frighten the\u003cbr\u003estudents, the cruelest teacher available takes all the young men and\u003cbr\u003esays, \"Follow me.\"  The students don't know where they are going, but\u003cbr\u003eafter an hour's trip, the teacher suddenly stops, and points, and says,\u003cbr\u003e\"That, you miserable idiots, is your final exam.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne-third of each class, on the average, decides then and there to seek\u003cbr\u003eother form of occupation.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOn Luigi's first day, Luigi and the four other would-be gondoliers took\u003cbr\u003ethe trek to SPLAT Corner and the teacher stopped and pointed\u003cbr\u003edramatically and said, \"Look, you peanut-brained imbeciles, look at your\u003cbr\u003efinal exam.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTwo of the class decided immediately to open souvenir stands in the\u003cbr\u003ePiazza San Marco and left without a word.  A third turned deadly pale. \u003cbr\u003eThe fourth, the one nearest Luigi, began trembling out of control as he\u003cbr\u003erepeated the word, \"Impossible, impossible,\" again and again. To try and\u003cbr\u003emake the poor fellow feel better, Luigi whispered, \"Perhaps he's just\u003cbr\u003etrying to frighten us, it can't be that difficult.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnfortunately, sound travels over water and they were standing by the\u003cbr\u003ewaters of the canal.  The teacher that day happened to be John the\u003cbr\u003eBastard, by far the cruelest man ever to grace the board of directors of\u003cbr\u003ethe Gondoliers' School.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Luigi,\" he snapped.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow Luigi turned deadly pale.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Not so hard, eh?\" said John the Bastard. \"I heard you and I'm not\u003cbr\u003esurprised--you've got a bad reputation--everyone knows you did something\u003cbr\u003emean when you were five.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I was only trying--\" Luigi began.  \" I was only trying to make him feel\u003cbr\u003ebetter\" was what he meant to say.  but John the Bastard hollered\u003cbr\u003e\"Silence!'\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi stopped his thought.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"You think we're jokes at Gondoliers' School, isn't that right, Luigi? \u003cbr\u003eYou think SPLAT Corner is easy, isn't that so, Luigi?  He stood directly\u003cbr\u003ein front of Luigi now, and he bellowed: \"Well, we'll just see.  All of\u003cbr\u003eyou stay right here.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe left them at attention and when he came back, he was rowing his own\u003cbr\u003epersonal gondola.  All black (gondolas are black--by law) and shiny.  He\u003cbr\u003egot out and gestured for Luigi to get in.  \"See how easy it is, smart\u003cbr\u003eguy--\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi didn't understand and said so.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I want you to make the turn at SPLAT Corner,\" John the bastard said. \u003cbr\u003e\"If it's not so hard--that's what you said, I'm just quoting you--you\u003cbr\u003eshould be able to do it without scratching my gondola.  And now he made\u003cbr\u003ea horrible smile.  \"And if you do scratch it--your punishment will be to\u003cbr\u003eshine my gondola every night after class for the next three years.  Or\u003cbr\u003efive years.  Or however long it takes you to graduate, and since I'm\u003cbr\u003eyour teacher I can promise you I don't think you'll ever graduate.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi gulped and stood alone in John the Bastard's boa, holding the oar.\u003cbr\u003e He looked at SPLAT Corner, all of seven feet eight inches at its widest\u003cbr\u003epoint.  He looked at the gondola, all twenty-five feet in length.  Then\u003cbr\u003ehe closed his eyes and shook his head.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e(I should add at this point that the normal training procedure at\u003cbr\u003eGondolier's School is this: you don't even think about attempting SPLAT\u003cbr\u003eCorner until midway through the second year.  Then you begin with a\u003cbr\u003elittle boat the size of a bathtub.  Then, when you've mastered that, you\u003cbr\u003eget a slightly bigger bathtub.  Then a rowboat.  Then a bigger rowboat. \u003cbr\u003eThen a small canoe, a large canoe, etc.  Even with all this training,\u003cbr\u003eonly three candidates in this century have made the SPLAT Corner turn\u003cbr\u003ethe first time without severely damaging their gondolas.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"Go!\" John the Bastard shouted.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi kind of zipped around SPLAT Corner and out of sight with a foot of\u003cbr\u003eclearance on each side.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJohn the Bastard's immediate instinct was to flee to the famous\u003cbr\u003eGondolier's Tavern and have a gallon of beer to settle his nerves.  But\u003cbr\u003ehis reputation for toughness was well earned, and he managed to shout\u003cbr\u003e\"Blind Luck!\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi, out of sight around the corner, spoke very loudly.  \"I couldn't\u003cbr\u003equite make out what you said.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"I said come back here!\" John the Bastard cried.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi returned through SPLAT Corner--only there wasn't room to turn the\u003cbr\u003eboat totally around so this time he did it backwards.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAt the sight of his gondola coming toward him in reverse, John the\u003cbr\u003eBastard sort of came unglued.  He muttered and sputtered and spittle\u003cbr\u003ecame to his lips and he blinked his eyes and shook his head before\u003cbr\u003emanaging to get out, \"Two gallons of beer, at least two gallons of\u003cbr\u003ebear.\"  Then he turned and raced of in the direction of the Gondolier's\u003cbr\u003eTavern.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eClass was definitely over for the day.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow did Luigi manage such an extraordinary feat?  For Luigi, it wasn't\u003cbr\u003eextraordinary at all.  Remember I mentioned before that no one knows him\u003cbr\u003ewell?  The reason for that was this: Luigi had secrets.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe had known all his life he would someday be a gondolier; his family\u003cbr\u003ehad been in that occupation for hundreds of years.  And he loved his\u003cbr\u003efather's boat.  Nothing pleased him more than sitting and watching the\u003cbr\u003epalaces go by as his father rowed smoothly with the single oar.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi never needed much sleep and when he was seven or eight, he used to\u003cbr\u003eget up before dawn and creep out and sit in his father's gondola and\u003cbr\u003eimagine great voyages.  These imaginings grew as he did, and when he was\u003cbr\u003ethirteen, he first had the courage to take the boat for little rides by\u003cbr\u003ehimself.  While the rest of Venice slept.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBy the time he was fifteen his little rides grew longer, and one day he\u003cbr\u003ebecame so absorbed that he realized too late that the sun soon to rise.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHe knew he could never get home undiscovered unless he tried some\u003cbr\u003eshortcuts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne of those shortcuts was SPLAT Corner.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLuigi didn't know its name then.  All he knew was that he'd found this\u003cbr\u003eterrific narrow place for cutting the time home in half, and so great\u003cbr\u003ewas his fear of his father's discovery what he'd done, he just went\u003cbr\u003ethrough it without much though.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrom then on, he always took the shortcut.  For five years he'd been\u003cbr\u003erowing in semi-darkness along the black canals, always getting safely\u003cbr\u003ehome in time, tying up the boat, scooting up to bed before anyone\u003cbr\u003esuspected.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe fact that what he had done was fairly unusual was something he never\u003cbr\u003erealized until that first, soon to be famous, day in class.  (There was\u003cbr\u003etalk of nothing else in the Gondolier's Tavern for weeks.  At one point\u003cbr\u003eit was suggested to pass Luigi then and there--since it was obvious you\u003cbr\u003ecouldn't teach him anything about the gondola, why try and teach him\u003cbr\u003eanything about the gondola, why try and teach him about the gondola? \u003cbr\u003ebut ultimately the decision was to have him stay the full three years. \u003cbr\u003eNo one had ever graduated in less, and gondoliers love tradition.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs I said, Luigi had secrets.  This, the dark silent pre-dawn rides, was\u003cbr\u003ea little secret.  Luigi, like the rest of us, had lots of little\u003cbr\u003esecrets.\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Del Rey","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46303232065765,"sku":"NP9780345442635","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780345442635.jpg?v=1767741515","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/the-silent-gondoliers-isbn-9780345442635","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}