{"product_id":"the-mcsweeneys-book-of-politics-and-musicals-isbn-9780307387349","title":"The McSweeney's Book of Politics and Musicals","description":"Ever since John Hancock broke into song after signing the Declaration of Independence, American politics and musicals have been inextricably linked. From Alexander Hamilton's jazz hands, to Chester A. Arthur's oboe operas, to Newt Gingrich's off-Broadway sexscapade, \u003ci\u003eYou, Me, and My Moon Colony Mistress Makes Three\u003c\/i\u003e, government and musical theater have joined forces to document our nation's long history of freedom, partisanship, and dancers on roller skates pretending to be choo choo trains. \u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eTo celebrate this grand union of entrenched bureaucracy and song, the patriots at McSweeney's Internet Tendency (“The Iowa Caucus of humor websites”) offer this riotous collection (peacefully assembled!) of monologues, charts, scripts, lists, diatribes, AND musicals written by the noted fake-musical lyricist, Ben Greenman. On the agenda are . . . \u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eFragments from \u003ci\u003ePALIN! THE MUSICAL\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eBarack Obama’s Undersold 2012 Campaign Slogans\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAtlas Shrugged\u003c\/i\u003e Updated for the Financial Crisis\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eYour Attempts to Legislate Hunting Man for Sport Reek of Class Warfare\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eA 1980s Teen Sex Comedy Becomes Politically Uncomfortable\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eDonald Rumsfeld Memoir Chapter Title Or German Heavy Metal Song?\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eNoises Political Pundits Would Make If They Were Wild Animals and Not Political Pundits\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eRon Paul Gives a Guided Tour of His Navajo Art Collection\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eClassic Nursery Rhymes, Updated and Revamped for the Recession, As Told to Me By My Father\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eAnd much more!FOREWORD \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eWyatt Cenac\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMy America: A New Action Movie Screenplay by Sarah Palin \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eWendy Molyneux\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePresidential Stats \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSimon Rich\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eFrom the Diary of John Adams \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003ePeter Krinke\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAn Anti-Washington Candidate’s Stump Speech \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003ePete Reynolds\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eMy 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 Plan \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eEllie Kemper\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhere Is the Rest of This Graph? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Only Thing That Can Stop This Asteroid Is Your Liberal Arts Degree\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMike Lacher\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDebate for Emperor of the Upsilon Sigma Star System \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTeddy Wayne\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eVote Yes on SPLOST 5 \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLucas Klauss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBarack Obama’s Undersold 2012 Campaign Slogans \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eNathaniel Lozier\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Comprehensive List of Third- Place Finishers for U.S. President, 2008–2036 \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDavid Warnke\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Lesser-Known Slogans of Political Moderates \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eKate Johansen\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eKatie Bukowski\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eThree Timelines of the American Financial Meltdown Told Through R. L. Stine Book Titles \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMatthew Gillespie\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from BAILOUT! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePolitical Decision-Making in the New Century \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSean Carman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFormer CIA Director George Tenet’s Other Excuses \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eChristopher Monks\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Message from a TSA Full-Body Scanner \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJesse Adelman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Guest Columnist Still Getting the Hang of It \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eEllie Kemper\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eExtended Trailer for American Demographic 2012 \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003ePete Reynolds\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour Attempts to Legislate Against Hunting Man for Sport Reek of Class Warfare \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMike Lacher\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eLittle Housing Crisis on the Prairie \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSusan Schorn\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAtlas Shrugged Updated for the Financial Crisis \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJeremiah Tucker\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNoises That Select Political Pundits Would Make If They Were Wild Animals Instead of Political Pundits \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJohn Warner\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDonald Rumsfeld: Love Doctor \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eStephen Elliott\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eParallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of George W. Bush’s Presidency \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTeddy Wayne\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRepublican S\u0026amp;M Safe Words \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eNathan Pensky\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from WEINER! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSomeday My Concession Speech Will Be Read by Schoolchildren \u003cbr\u003eJim Stallard\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStarting Over with Pat Nixon \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTom Gliatto\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow You Voted \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJonathan Stern\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e30 and Pregnant \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRachel Friedman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI’m Afraid the Children Are Our Future \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJohn Moe\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow Superior Each Bar Feels to the Others \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eClassic Nursery Rhymes, Updated and Revamped for the Recession, as Told to Me by My Father \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJen Statsky\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Adventures of Right- Wing Conservative Robin Hood \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSarah Rosenshine\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eTwo Medieval Physicians Debate Universal Health Care \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBlair Becker\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Twenty-First Century Adventures of Tintin \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eNeil Graf\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYouth Culture Findings \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDan Kennedy\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eApril Fools’ Day Pranks to Play on an Unemployed Twentysomething Male Who Still Lives at Home with His Parents \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eChristopher Monks\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour Protest Signs Are Too Specific \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAlan Trotter\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLess Powerful Industry Lobbying Groups \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTodd Rovak\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from PALIN! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMarxist- Socialist Jokes \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJesse Eisenberg\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eWhat If Germany Won the War? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMike Sacks\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMetroid ’s Samus Aran Speaks Out About Gay Marriage \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMarco Kaye\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAbstinence-Only Driver’s Ed \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSuzanne Kleid\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA 1980s Teen Sex Comedy Becomes Politically Uncomfortable \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAndrew Golden\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor a Yellow Brick Wall \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMike Gallagher\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Stability of Data \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow Bernanke Tackled the Depression, As Recorded 150 Years from Now by Post-Apocalyptic Hobo Folklorists \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eGrant Munroe\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRon Paul Gives a Guided Tour of His Navajo Art Collection \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJeremiah Tucker\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eTribal Matters \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJim Stallard\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eEarly Drafts of Patrick Henry’s Revolutionary Proclamation “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSam Weiner\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnpublished Federalist Papers \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMaggie Ryan Sandford\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eCrate \u0026amp; Barrel Tableware Style+U.S. President=Fictional Delta Blues Singer \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJosh Michtom\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePatriotic Laundry Metaphors \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDoogie Horner\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eQuiz: Rumsfeld Memoir Chapter Title or German Heavy Metal Song? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDavid Rees\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Next Wave: Candidate Product Placement \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003ePete Reynolds\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOccupy Main Street! \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTeddy Wayne\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOperation Middle Class: A Fearful Rich Man’s Rules for Survival in an Increasingly Populist World \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLuke Kelly-Clyne\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI Will \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eHenry Alford\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWord Problems for Future Hedge Fund Managers \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBob Woodiwiss\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eMom’s and Dad’s Campaign Statements \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eGregory Beyer\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI Probably Shouldn’t Have Opted for the Cheapest HMO \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJim Stallard\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePresidents Who Could Also Be Strippers \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoel Wood\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eState Rules \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eColin Perkins\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGreat Quotes from the End of NASA’s Space Shuttle Era \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJim Santel\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eThings JFK Might Ask You to Ask Not Today \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eKate Hahn\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Songs of Lenin and McCarthy \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJimmy Chen\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from WIKILEAKS! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Elements of Press Release Style \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eGary Klien\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhich Flavor of Ice Cream Do You Want, Daddy? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMiles Kahn\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAesop’s Fables Teach Children the Art of Voter Suppression \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAndrew Golden\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eThis Recession Has Spared No One, Not Even the Mythical and Folkloric Figures of Our Collective Western Imagination \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eHenry Alford\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eRyan Haney\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePOLL: Do I Fully Understand the Concept of Margin of Error? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Letter from the U.S. Department of Education Regarding the Birth of Your First Child \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMark Brownlow\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eImportant Details About Your New Health Care Plan \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDan Kennedy\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRobert Gibbs’s Dungeons \u0026amp; Dragons Game Goes Off the Rails \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTravis Watt\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Labors of Unemployed Hercules \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLuke Burns\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTemplates to the Editor \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBob Woodiwiss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSlightly Less-Cited Supreme Court Decisions \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRob Kutner\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eArchaic U.S. Senate Procedures \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLucas Klauss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCongressional Missed Connections \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSloan Schang\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChapter Titles for Rachel Carson’s 1962 Book Silent Spring That Were Rejected for Being Too Alarmist \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eCaredwen Foley\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eFragments from HOT PLANET! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRecycle, Compost, or Trash? A Guide \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJenny Shank\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePickman’s Chicken Farm Is Now Cruelty-Free \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eZack Poitras\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCreate Your Own Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Column \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMichael Ward\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Gahhh! Institute \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eLucas Klauss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEyewitness News with Tom Denardo and Cheryl Clayburn \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSeth Reiss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow Much I Had to Manipulate the Data to Make It Seem Like Things Were Looking Up \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLittle-Known Facts from the Guinness Book of World Records \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSimon Rich\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOngoing Roadblocks in the Mongoose-Cobra Peace Talks \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBob Woodiwiss\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Girls of The Hills Visit Afghanistan \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eWendy Molyneux\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDavid Brooks Also Eats Cereal \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJohn Warner\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Straw Poll of Issues on Voters’ Minds for This Upcoming Election, Based Only on the Conversation Initiations of the Morose Security Guard Who Sits in the Lobby of the Building Where I Work \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRyan Haney\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003ePhoto Ops to Gain More Than 50% of the Electorate \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eDavid Hart\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDance Dance Revolution \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMatthew Bonnan\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eActual Subject Lines of E-mails I’ve Received from Barack Obama’s Campaign That Sound Like He’s Asking Me Out and Then Breaking Up with Me \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSarah Walke\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from SANTORUM! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eSpreading the Good Word: A Missionary’s Guide \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eWendy Molyneux\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe 700 Club Does the Weather \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eAlex Kane\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe First American Bidding War \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSusan Schorn\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Front Porch Campaign, 1880 \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eChris White\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePerhaps Now You Wish You Had Paid Closer Attention to Your Judicial Candidates for County Circuit Court! \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eMike Lacher\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOrdinary Circle or Pie Chart? \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis Is a Reelection Campaign Stop, Not a Labor Day Weekend Beach Vacation \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRyan Haney\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLaura Wingfi eld from The Glass Menagerie on the 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eKate Hahn\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo Country for Anyone \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJohn Warner\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe Latest Deals from LivingCapitalist \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003ePete Reynolds\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eVoter Segments to Watch This Year \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSloan Schang\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAccusations Leveled At a Dolphin Running for President \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eEric Feezell\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eGod Texts the Ten Commandments \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eJamie Quatro\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNew Fears for the Twenty-First Century \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eHannah Tepper\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFragments from STRONG GOVERNMENT! THE MUSICAL \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBen Greenman\u003c\/i\u003e“Only McSweeney’s could combine politics and theater in such a strange, amusing way.” —\u003ci\u003eLos Angeles Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e“Pokes fun at all manner of political persuasion, often in a tone reminiscent of \u003ci\u003eMad\u003c\/i\u003e magazine—that is, mangled lyrics—but minus a tune to follow. . . . Jolly good fun.” —Leonard Kniffel, \u003ci\u003eBooklist\u003c\/i\u003eMcSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco. As well as running the daily humor website \u003ci\u003eMcSweeney’s Internet Tendency\u003c\/i\u003e, McSweeney’s publishes \u003ci\u003eMcSweeney’s Quarterly Concern\u003c\/i\u003e, the \u003ci\u003eBeliever\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eLucky Peach\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eWholphin\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eGrantland Quarterly\u003c\/i\u003e, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints.\u003cb\u003eFOREWORD\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWyatt Cenac\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you are reading this, it means that someone just gave you this book as a gift. Congratulations. Whatever you did was more than likely “gift-worthy.” You probably had a birthday or a half birthday. Maybe you graduated from an institution of higher learning or you escaped from prison. Or your significant other gave you this book to keep you quiet on a road trip to Oakland. In any case, you accomplished something impressive enough that someone felt this book would be the perfect thing that would speak to your sensibilities, amuse you, and keep you quiet on the 580 freeway. If you bought this book for yourself, then sincerest apologies that nobody likes you enough to buy it for you. But don’t give up hope.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Not the hope that you will be more likeable. That is out of this book’s hands because there may be real reasons why nobody should like you. Reasons that can’t be found in the pages of this book. Still read this book, but afterwards find yourself a nice self-help book, like McSweeney’s Book of Self-Improvement, Actualization, and Musicals, which will be in bookstores next never. But putting that aside, the point is don’t give up hope in its most general sense. It is a truly American ideal. Apple pie is almost as American as hope. Or so it hopes.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e It was hope that brought the first colonists to this country in search of a better land that would allow them social and religious freedoms that they could then deny others. It was hope that put smallpox in blankets, thereby making this land a bit cheaper to purchase from its original owners. Hope put tea in a harbor, angering and confusing the British as well as today’s senior citizens. Hope gave sciatica to a black lady on a bus in Montgomery, inspiring a civil rights movement while encouraging the health benefits of walking at least thirty minutes a day. Hope keeps same-sex partners together, looking toward the day when they, too, can legally get divorced.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Hope is the binding agent for political discourse in the United States. As a voter, one hopes their needs are being listened to and addressed. As a politician, one hopes their message gets out while their indiscretions with flight attendants stay hidden, along with that secret love child they had with a wolf. As a political humorist, one hopes that no matter how troubling times may seem from moment to moment, people will always be able to find laughter in the situation. And as a manager of a coffee shop in Brooklyn, one hopes that times will never be so troubled that the political humorist you once foolishly employed as a barista will return looking for their old job again.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e Obviously, there is more to the American democratic system than just those four individuals. You also have the media, the lobbyists, the protest groups, the unions, the action committees, the think tanks, the activists, the foreign business partners, the intergalactic business partners, the special-interest groups, the skeptics, the financial donors, the blood donors, the senior citizens, the public sector, the private sector, the Nigerian princes, the bureaucrats, the steering committees, Main Street, Wall Street, and ghosts. All with their own needs and the hope that their voices will drown out yours. And for the right price, it can.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e For as wonderful as America is, it is a country where we still make people vote in November to accommodate farmers from a hundred and fifty years ago who probably still won’t make it to the polls in time because they are either dead or vampires. Vampire Farm: coming to the CW next fall.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e It runs on a political system whose parties are represented by animals that tend to stink up barns and circuses and usually spend most of their time swatting away the filthy gnats that are attracted to them. The same is true of politicians. The floors of the Capitol Building get hosed down every night to keep the senators from getting hoof and mouth.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e It’s a place where the state of Texas is at the bottom of high- school graduation rates, but gets to dictate what goes into the country’s textbooks because the other forty-nine states need its delicious chili recipes. If you are reading this and you graduated from a school in Texas—good job. Next time, try it without sounding the words out loud.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e It’s a country where people are scared to sit next to a Muslim on an airplane, but have no problem if that Muslim drives them home from the airport . . . so long as he avoids the Midtown Tunnel. If you’re reading this while in a cab, don’t look up! They’re probably watching you.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e It’s a country where a football team with a mascot of a Native American man could play a team whose mascot is a colonial soldier in the Super Bowl, and even if they won, afterward they’d still be called the Redskins.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e But for all of the problems in this country, it’s still a country that people love for its hope. It is the hope that we can strive to be better as individuals and as a whole, and, if not, then we can at least afford to import better individuals who will in turn inspire us to be better or marry us for green cards.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e One of the things that makes this country great is the ability to learn from our mistakes, laugh at them, publish them on the Inter- net, and then collect them in book form to be sold to rubes. Not you. The person who bought it for you.\u003cbr\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e This book is filled with some of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s finest humor from both regular contributors and guest contributors who decided to slum it in the land of the written word.\u003cbr\u003e And it is my hope that you find this book funny. I haven’t read it. I’m waiting for someone to gift it to me. I hope I’ll enjoy it.","brand":"Vintage","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46305473954021,"sku":"NP9780307387349","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780307387349.jpg?v=1767740450","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/the-mcsweeneys-book-of-politics-and-musicals-isbn-9780307387349","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}