The Make-Believe

A wrenching, lyrical memoir by Skins and Game of Thrones star Hannah Murray, exploring the spiritual awakening that turned into a mental breakdown, and the healing made possible when we learn to save ourselves

He sat me down in a chair and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that magic is real. Magic is real. Three words that bound me to him. To his world of make-believe.

From her breakout role as a teen actor on the cult TV show Skins, to critically acclaimed movies, to the smash hit Game of Thrones, Hannah Murray built a career in Hollywood cracking open her own psychological foundations and pushing her body to its limits. But one day, the line between make-believe and reality disappeared, and she found herself confined to a psych ward, dangerously in love with the leader of a shadowy wellness organization, and believing in magic. How she got there—and how she managed to rebuild her life—is the heart of this gripping, powerful memoir that asks: How far would you go to find enlightenment?

For Hannah, it was deceptively easy to fall down the rabbit hole. As she struggled with her mental health, she sought help in the form of wellness and self-care. After an eye-opening session with an energy healer, Hannah was introduced to an organization that she was told would bring her further spiritual rewards. Enthralled by its charismatic leader and his teachings of a world filled with magic and meaning, Hannah found herself sucked into a rigorous practice involving high control and financial outlay. And as her sense of reality began to slip, eventually resulting in her hospitalization and diagnosis with bipolar disorder, she realized she had fully ceded control of her life to this mysterious organization. And, she thought, as she reckoned with the Hollywood career that conditioned her to give her body and soul over to others, maybe she’d been doing that her whole life.

Both a cautionary tale and a cry for radical empathy, Hannah’s story of learning to trust herself will resonate with anyone who has struggled to find agency. The Make-Believe is a probing exploration of womanhood and mental health, and a search for the healing that comes when we reclaim our own narratives.“I was deeply moved by this vital, brave memoir. Hannah Murray’s compelling account of her experience is intensely open-hearted and lyrical, depicting just how porous the boundaries and realities of our lives can become. A stunning achievement.”—Sophie Mackintosh, author of The Water Cure

“A memoir of real literary power that wields a writer’s full tool kit, with finger-biting dramatic irony, vivid sensory evocation, and pithy statements of uncomfortable truth. . . . The premise of Hannah Murray’s induction into a wellness cult is fascinating, but her execution is what makes this story uniquely compelling.”—Naoise Dolan, author of Exciting Times

“A page-turning and generous book that is intensely concerned with what it means to be human. Hannah Murray is a masterful storyteller.”—Rebecca Watson, author of Little Scratch

“An extraordinary memoir—propulsive, immersive; like nothing I have ever read before. I read it in one day and thought about it for weeks afterwards.”—Dolly Alderton, New York Times bestselling author of Good MaterialHannah Murray began her creative life as an actor, starring in E4’s smash hit series Skins, and then appearing in HBO’s cultural juggernaut Game of Thrones for seven of the show’s eight seasons. Hannah has starred in numerous feature films including Detroit, directed by Oscar-winner Kathryn Bigelow. She has appeared on panels at events including San Diego Comic-Con and has spoken at Tulane University and the University of Connecticut. She has been featured in many publications worldwide, including Vogue, Interview, The Guardian, and The Independent. She has also appeared on TV shows like Conan and Good Morning America. Hannah has a BA in English from Cambridge University and an MA in Creative Non-Fiction from the University of East Anglia.