{"product_id":"the-dads-daughters-togetherness-guide-isbn-9780767924696","title":"The Dads \u0026 Daughters Togetherness Guide","description":"Fathers know that doing things with their daughters is important. Shared activities build trust and self-esteem, show how much dads care, and allow everyone to cut loose and have fun. But even fathers who can beat the generation and gender gaps that make them feel awkward can’t always dream up cool places to go or mutually enjoyable things to do. Like the coach of their favorite team, dads need a game plan, and that’s exactly what Joe Kelly provides in \u003ci\u003eDads \u0026amp; Daughters Togetherness Guide.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAppropriate for girls of any age, the guide\u003ci\u003e \u003c\/i\u003eenables dads to grab their daughters by the hand and say “Let’s go…”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSee how things are made: \u003c\/b\u003eTake a made-in-America tour and see how everything from jumbo jets (Boeing) to chocolate kisses (Hershey’s) is produced.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBake a funny cake: \u003c\/b\u003eShe’ll laugh herself silly in the kitchen making Kitty Litter Cake, a German chocolate sheet cake covered with “cat litter” (dyed, crumbled cookies) and topped with miniature Tootsie Rolls.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eTake a drive to nowhere:\u003c\/b\u003e Let the copilot navigate, and leave time for fun stops to poke around in flea markets or join a game of pickup softball for a few innings.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith dozens of other engaging activities—such as creating a daddy-daughter journal, devising secret codes, and exchanging poems—this is the ultimate rain-or-shine resource for developing wonderful parent-child rapport.“Attention all dads! Joe Kelly knows how to create memorable experiences with his daughters and shares dozens of fun activities with the rest of us. This practical book is a must-have for dads who want to build a strong relationship with their daughters—or sons for that matter.”—David Walsh, Ph.D. President of the National Institute on Media and the Family; Author of national bestseller \u003ci\u003eWhy Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain \u003c\/i\u003eand \u003ci\u003eNo. Why Kids Need It and Ways Parents Can Say It.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e “‘What do you want to do, Daddy?’ No longer will that dad-stumping question frustrate fathers, for Joe Kelly offers all dads a rich reservoir of fun ideas and activities that daughters and dads can enjoy together!” —David Sadker, co-author, \u003ci\u003eFailing at Fairness: How Schools Cheat Girls\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"A true gift for fathers and daughters.\"--Jean Kilbourne, Visiting Research Scholar, Wellesley Centers for WomenJOE KELLY is the author of \u003ci\u003eDads and Daughters\u003c\/i\u003e (50,000 copies sold in hardcover and paperback). His national nonprofit advocacy group (www.dadsanddaughters.org) has been featured widely in broadcast and print media, including NPR, CBS, ABC, and \u003ci\u003eUSA TODAY\u003c\/i\u003e. He and his wife, Nancy, are the parents of twin daughters. They live in Duluth, Minnesota.\u003cb\u003eDaddy’s Little Girl\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHuman beings accelerate through the greatest number of developmental changes in the shortest period of time before age eight. Take language acquisition as one example.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHave you ever learned (or attempted to learn) a second language? For most people it takes years of dedicated effort just to reach basic proficiency. Your daughter masters her language in just two or three years while also learning other remarkably difficult things—like how to feed herself, walk, understand cause and effect, and more. And that’s just for starters.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eInfants, toddlers, and young children can learn this vast array of skills and information because their minds are flexible, open (yes, even two–year-olds!), and hypercurious. This way of being also makes most children very receptive to and skilled at playing!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour fatherly key to successful play with the preschool crowd is to adopt and reflect your daughter’s flexible, open, hypercurious attitude. Embrace how creatively she connects the dots between point A and point Q. Avoid using playtime to enforce rules, make a point, or impose gender stereotypes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDuring your daughter’s early years, she doesn’t think of herself as “a girl.” Gender concepts come soon enough, often with attendant baggage. Now is the time to celebrate and reinforce her value as an individual person, not specifically as a girl. Encouraging intellectual curiosity and physical activity is especially important. Later on, when the gender straightjacket attempts to exert its influence on her, she’ll need to feel comfortable in her body and confident in her brain and heart.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e1. Our Time\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003ci\u003eAll Ages \/ Solo\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePsychologist and author Dr. Margo Maine wrote a fabulous book called Father Hunger. I think her metaphor is an ideal one for stepdads and dads to remember—our daughters hunger for our attention, no matter how young or old they are. And, let’s be honest, we hunger for our daughters’ attention, too!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSpending time with your daughter or stepdaughter is the best way to let her know you are paying attention to her.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSet aside some inviolate time for you and your daughter to be together without interruption. Having a daily “Our Time” is ideal, but it works on a weekly basis, too (or anywhere in between).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne divorced dad I know has shared custody of his young daughter. Since she’s not always with him, he knows the value of Our Time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eTo make the most of my time with my 6–year–old daughter, I organized our evenings so that the half hour before bedtime is Our Time. During Our Time, I brush my daughter’s shower–wet hair and we might simply watch TV, or play a game. Our current favorites are Who Took the Cookie from the Cookie Jar, Candy Land, and Uno. We also talk about school or why some kids are bad or why people lie or something she saw that bothered her, or whatever. Mostly, we talk.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA few weeks ago, I began to think that Our Time felt forced and decided to simply not say anything. Shower time came and went, and I said nothing about Our Time. Fifteen minutes hadn’t passed before my daughter approached me with brush in hand to ask what was wrong. “Daddy, why aren’t we having Our Time?” I almost teared up as I said to her that we will ALWAYS have Our Time. My hope is that Our Time will grow to become a time for her to share with me what’s on her mind—her fears, concerns, worries, passions, etc.—a time for us to truly bond. Granted she’s only six now, but I can hope that Our Time will last forever!!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe point is that dad and daughter are together and that daughter knows that during Our Time, no phone calls, work, or other distractions will interrupt. She has Dad totally to herself. Even thirty minutes can feed the hunger a dad and a daughter have for each other. So make it a habit!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRemember that Our Time can happen even if dad and daughter are not in the same place. If you live or work away from your daughter, set aside regular Our Time during which you:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Talk to each other on the phone or over a free Internet telephony system like Skype or Google Talk.\u003cbr\u003e• IM or e–mail each other.\u003cbr\u003e• Play an interactive online game together.\u003cbr\u003e• Communicate with each other over Ham radio (you can even use Morse code).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGet creative and come up with your own ideas, too.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn other words, don’t let distance interfere with Our Time. Fortunately, there are constantly expanding ways to communicate and connect over distances. Make them work for you!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e2. Fast Fun for Daughters through Three Months\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eBirth to Three Months\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003eFast Fun is a list of activity ideas that a pop, father, dad, padre, pappa, or daddy–o can pull out any time. They don’t require a lot of preparation or explanation. But if you’re stumped for ideas of what to do today, this list can get you started.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen you bring your daughter home from the hospital, you are hypersensitive and may be afraid she will break if you handle her wrong. Well, that’s a good thing—a father’s natural instinct is to meet the needs of this completely dependent little creature. You may feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster (because you are), but you can still play and have fun with your baby.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe following suggestions are only starters. You have a lot more ideas inside you—be creative, loosen up, and most important have fun! She’ll love it, and so will you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMake faces at each other.\u003cbr\u003eLet her grip your finger with her hand.\u003cbr\u003eBlow very lightly on her face.\u003cbr\u003eVery gently and slowly stretch her arms to her sides.\u003cbr\u003eMake googlie sounds and watch her smiles.\u003cbr\u003eMassage her feet and hands.\u003cbr\u003eSing softly to her.\u003cbr\u003eWatch her eyes move in response to you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eTip:\u003c\/b\u003e I’m not a big fan of parents (or other adults) using “baby talk” all the time with babies. Make funny sounds, be lyrical and musical with your voice—but also make conversation with your baby in your normal tone of voice. She wants to get to know you: your sound, smell, expressions, and the comfort of snuggling up against you to fall asleep. Talk like you normally do and she’ll get to know you faster.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e3. Fast Fun for Daughters from\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSix Months to One Year\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs toddlers get more independent, they get more willful—and more creative, silly, adventurous, and fun. When our twins were born, people told us that the “terrible twos” would be exponentially awful because we’d have two two–year–olds at once. Well, two and three turned out to be a blast! The lesson for me was: Don’t let other people’s expectations determine your own unique experience with your own unique daughter.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe following suggestions are here to jump–start you. You have a lot more ideas inside you—be creative, loosen up, and most of all, remember to spend this time having fun!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMake goofy faces at each other.\u003cbr\u003ePlay peekaboo.\u003cbr\u003ePlay in the bathtub.\u003cbr\u003eTake her to the store with you.\u003cbr\u003eRead picture books.\u003cbr\u003ePlay patty-cake.\u003cbr\u003eCrawl around on the floor together.\u003cbr\u003ePound on boxes.\u003cbr\u003eHide in boxes.\u003cbr\u003eMimic sounds back and forth.\u003cbr\u003eRoll a ball back and forth.\u003cbr\u003ePlay in the sand.\u003cbr\u003eGo on a picnic together.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e4. Story Time\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003eFour to Eighteen \/ Solo\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEverybody loves a good tale, whether it’s tall or very, very short. Creating and writing stories together is great fun and can tap into your best inventive, inspired imagination. Plus, this activity grows with your daughter—you can make up stories together, no matter how old she is. As the years pass, the tales tend to get longer and more interesting—and no less fun. Below are some simple ways to start.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDon’t get bogged down in “traditional” rules about plot, characters, or even logic when creating stories with your daughter. There is no “wrong” direction for the stories to take. Cut loose and have fun, even if logic has completely left the premises.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBelow are some simple ways to start Story Time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Talking Story Riff\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePick a topic, any topic. Then simply start telling a story about it. After about a minute of riffing on the story, turn it over to your daughter and listen closely to where she takes the characters and plot. After another minute, she tosses the story back to you, to add your next minute of detail and plot. Back and forth you go, wherever your joint imaginations and the characters lead you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eKeep in mind that the first few times you do this activity, it may seem a little flat. And the first few exchanges in any particular story may (or may not) be a little flat. Don’t sweat it or think you’re failing. Instead, think of these initial efforts as first drafts. Many professional writers tear up nearly every first draft—we do first drafts to get the pump primed and the juices flowing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen our daughters were ten, we drove from northern Minnesota to Disney World and back, with some detours to visit relatives, friends, and historic sites in Atlanta. That trip was the first time the girls ever saw a Waffle House restaurant (a fixture in Southeastern states), and they were fascinated—because they loved waffles. So when we started making up a fairy tale in the car, it became known as “The Waffle Story,” starring Ann Tellet, a work colleague of my wife’s who took a real shine to the kids. In “The Waffle Story,” Ann solved mysteries and went on adventures. Her biggest adventure was into the world of dinettes. Why? Because we drove past a store that was called (really!) World of Dinettes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMy point is: There is nothing too silly, illogical, spontaneous, or tangential to include in a talking story riff. Run with it as long as it feels like you’re both still being creative and stimulated. Long road trips are a great time to trot this activity out. You may have so much fun that you and your daughters will remember that story decades later!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Team Telling\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is basically a written variation of the Talking Story Riff. Instead of creating the story out loud, take turns advancing the plot on paper.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLet your daughter start writing down the story and, depending on her age, have her pass it over to you after she’s completed a paragraph or a page. Then you take it for a paragraph or a page. Be sure you are completing entries of about the same length as hers, so that you don’t start dominating the story.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTag–Team Telling is often more flexible than making up a story out loud. For example, live–away dads can Tag–Team a story with their daughters through e–mail, snail mail, or during the times they spend together in person.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEven when you live with your daughter or stepdaughter, you can have one or more Tag–Team Telling stories under way for days, weeks, months—or even years. Just be sure that the paper (or computer document) is where you and she can both access it readily—in case either one or both of you come up with an inspiration in the middle of the night or middle of the day.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePicture Books\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eReaders of just about every age like illustrations in their storybooks. Go ahead and draw pictures or take photographs to accompany the tale you and she are creating together. Her drawings can be wonderful and fun, and also give you insight into her images of the characters, environment, and story line.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can even tag–team illustrations! For example, here’s a wild way to draw a character:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Fold a piece of paper in thirds.\u003cbr\u003e• Have her draw the character’s head on one third, while you look away (no peeking). When she’s done, she folds that third of the paper over so you can’t see the details.\u003cbr\u003e• You then draw the character’s torso and arms on the middle third of the paper (no peeking by your daughter), then fold it over so she can't see your contribution.\u003cbr\u003e• Then, she takes back the paper and draws the legs and feet on its final third. When she’s done, unfold the paper and see what wacky and creative images you have drawn together!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can also share illustration duties in a slightly less chaotic manner. For example, you can alternate drawings to accompany your joint story, or else each of you can take photographs to use in illustration.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe possibilities are endless, as long as you stay in touch with your three I’s: Invention, Inspiration, Imagination.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e5. Your Own Private Camp\u003cbr\u003eFour to Ten \/ Solo\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003eMy wife once said, “A good test of how good a friend you are with someone is whether you can still stand each other after going camping together.” Yes, like most things that change the pace of our daily routine, camping can bring out the best in us, or something else.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHowever, one of the best things about camping is that you can do it almost anywhere—including your own backyard. Plus, it doesn’t have to be complicated or cost a fortune.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe essentials for backyard camping are:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Tent or screen–house to keep out the rain and bugs\u003cbr\u003e• Sleeping bags, whether store–bought or create–your–own\u003cbr\u003e• Flashlight (to find your way back to the house)\u003cbr\u003e• Snacks\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSee how short that list is? You can use an old tent from the garage, or borrow one from a friend. You can use any sleeping bag (even the one from back when you were a Boy Scout), or else make your own by folding up a couple of blankets, wrapping them in a sheet, and then layering other blankets on top for a cozy place to sleep.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe most important elements of backyard camping are the rituals you develop together. Make sure the two of you work together to put up the tent, arrange the sleeping bags, pick out the snacks, and so on. It probably won’t qualify as “roughing it” (after all, a fully plumbed bathroom is only steps away), but that’s not the point. The idea is to break up your usual routine, do something out of the ordinary together, and see what develops.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf it’s safe, build a small campfire and roast marshmallows while you sit around it and talk. You can even just fire up a charcoal grill to serve the same function.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTo make the traditional camp snack “s’mores,” roast a marshmallow until its center begins to liquefy. Then quickly insert it between two graham crackers along with a thin piece of chocolate candy bar. The chocolate starts to melt as you pop the whole sweet, messy delicacy in your mouth. Mmmmm!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMake sure to do other traditional camp things like singing songs, telling tall tales, and sharing “scary” stories. Sit or lie on the grass and look at the moon and stars. Stay up late and just chat with each other.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOdds are that the memories you both create in your own backyard will outlast any that come from going away to camp.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eTip:\u003c\/b\u003e You can easily create a camplike experience indoors by pinning and draping blankets over pieces of furniture, then snuggling underneath for the night. Such homemade “forts” make great places to play no matter what time of day or season.","brand":"Harmony","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301747314917,"sku":"NP9780767924696","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780767924696.jpg?v=1767738904","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/the-dads-daughters-togetherness-guide-isbn-9780767924696","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}