{"product_id":"siri-who-am-i-isbn-9781683691686","title":"Siri, Who Am I?","description":"\u003cb\u003e“A wild ride . . . with endless turns and a happily-ever-after ending fit for a Friday night, feel-good rom-com movie.”—\u003ci\u003eUSA Today\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA Los Angeles woman with amnesia uses her Instagram account to piece together her true identity in this irreverent and whip-smart mystery rom-com about finding yourself in the age of social media.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003eThe only thing worse than losing your memory? Finding out who you really are . . .\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMia might look like a millennial but she was born yesterday. Emerging from a coma with short-term amnesia after an accident, Mia can’t remember her own name until the Siri assistant on her iPhone provides it. Based on her cool hairstyle (undercut with glamorous waves), dress (Prada), and lipstick (Chanel), she senses she’s wealthy, but the only way to know for sure is to retrace her steps once she leaves the hospital. Using Instagram and Uber, she arrives at the pink duplex she calls home in her posts but finds Max, a cute house sitter. He tells her the house belongs to JP, a billionaire with a chocolate empire. A few texts later, JP confirms her wildest dreams: They’re in love, Mia is living the good life, and he’ll be back that weekend.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut as Mia and Max work backward through her Instagram and across Los Angeles to learn more about her, they discover an ugly truth behind her perfect Instagram feed, and evidence that her head wound was no accident. Did Mia have it coming? And if so, is it too late for her to rewrite her story?\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003eAn Amazon Best Book of January 2021\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne of \u003ci\u003eUSA Today\u003c\/i\u003e's Best Books of 2021 So Far \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eOne of \u003ci\u003eBustle's \u003c\/i\u003eMost-Anticipated Books For January\u003cbr\u003eOne of \u003ci\u003eCosmopolitan’s\u003c\/i\u003e “Best New Books Coming Out in 2021”\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eOne of \u003ci\u003ePOPSUGAR’s\u003c\/i\u003e “Best New Books Coming Out in 2021”\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIndie Next and Library Reads Pick\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eA \u003ci\u003eFresh Fiction\u003c\/i\u003e Fresh Pick of January 2021\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Tschida took me on a wild ride in the quick read with endless turns and a happily-ever-after ending fit for a Friday night, feel-good rom-com movie.”—\u003ci\u003eUSA Today\u003c\/i\u003e, 3.5 out of 4 star review\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A fan of HBO Max's \u003ci\u003eThe Flight Attendant\u003c\/i\u003e? Tschida's debut novel...is definitely for you.”—\u003ci\u003eE! Online\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e“[A] biting satire for the internet age.”\u003ci\u003e—POPSUGAR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e“[An] uproarious debut.”\u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e—\u003c\/i\u003eBustle\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Equal parts romance, mystery, and comedy....Like Christopher Nolan's \u003ci\u003eMemento\u003c\/i\u003e by way of \u003ci\u003eIngrid Goes West\u003c\/i\u003e, Tschida's \u003ci\u003eSiri, Who Am I?\u003c\/i\u003e examines issues of identity, albeit with an irreverent comedic bent.”\u003ci\u003e—Memphis Flyer\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“A strong debut that's fun and funny, perfect for lovers of modern romantic comedies and light mysteries.”—\u003ci\u003eKirkus Reviews\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e“Tschida's debut is a millennial \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003eBridget Jones's Diary\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e meets \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003eLegally Blonde\u003c\/i\u003e.\"—\u003ci\u003eBooklist\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Fun and satisfying. This entertaining romance puts a cute twist on the genre.\"—\u003ci\u003ePublishers Weekly\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e“This witty story checks all the boxes for readers looking for a sharp-edged, highly entertaining look at selfie culture, along with soupçon of romance.”—\u003ci\u003eShelf Awareness \u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Keen character work and a unique premise distinguish Tschida’s riotously funny, remarkably assured debut...Tschida is a writer to watch.”—\u003ci\u003eMystery Scene\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e“Tschida's debut is a fun, effervescent ride that explores selfie culture and how it defines us. Amnesiac Mia is fearless in how she navigates the world. You'll be hooked by the core mystery as you journey with Mia to uncover who she really is.”—Roselle Lim, author of \u003ci\u003eNatalie Tan's Book of Luck and Fortune\u003c\/i\u003e \u0026amp; \u003ci\u003eVanessa Yu's Magical Paris Teashop\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“\u003ci\u003eHustlers\u003c\/i\u003e meets \u003ci\u003eThe Vow\u003c\/i\u003e—a twistier, slightly darker, millennial \u003ci\u003eThe Vow\u003c\/i\u003e—in this funny and entertaining women’s fiction novel. Filled with hilarity, mystery and self-discovery, \u003ci\u003eSiri, Who Am I?\u003c\/i\u003e is a fun, enjoyable story that I consumed from beginning to end.”—Naima Simone, \u003ci\u003eUSA Today\u003c\/i\u003e bestselling author of the WAGS series\u003cb\u003eSam Tschida \u003c\/b\u003eis the founder of Smut University and writes rom-coms and mysteries while braving the Minnesota winter. She is the author of \u003ci\u003eSiri, Who Am I?\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eUndead and Unwed\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eErrands and Espionage\u003c\/i\u003e.Chapter One\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt seems as though I’m the kind of person who lands in the hospital in a cocktail dress on a Tuesday night with no ID and no friends. The doctor says I’ve been in a mild coma for the last two days like Peter Gallagher in \u003ci\u003eWhile You Were Sleeping\u003c\/i\u003e, a movie I seem to remember every word of. As for my name? No clue. All I know is that I hate my hair. Maybe it’s just coma hair (medical-grade bedhead), but still. You’d think they would have washed out the blood, not to mention a crust that feels like bridesmaid-level product build-up, but Brenda the day-shift nurse explains, “This ain’t a spa, honey. We only do blowouts on doctor’s orders.” And then she laughs. When she hands me an oversize cup of water a minute later, she looks at my hair like it’s the first time she’s noticed it and says, “You know, it’s actually cute.” Just being nice, I think. Either that or she has no taste. I can’t judge because I’ve only seen her in scrubs.     \u003cbr\u003e     The doctors say that, amnesia aside, I’m mostly fine, but that doesn’t seem true. I definitely feel like I almost died. I mean, I didn’t see any of my dead relatives welcoming me to the other side but that proves nothing; if I can’t remember who I am, I probably wouldn’t recognize them either. That’s probably what happened—God sent Uncle So-and-So to pick me up and I just assumed he was a perv and missed the ride to heaven.\u003cbr\u003e     Though circumstantial, the evidence of my attempted murder is highly convincing:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   • Blunt force trauma to the back of the skull. (Let’s hope that’s why my hair looks bad. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   • Cocktail dress. (This should factor in, I think.) \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   • Blood alcohol of . . . I don’t know what the numbers mean, but mostly Grey Goose. Funny how I know what I drink, even if I don’t know where I live. #priorities. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e   • Someone (anon.) called an ambulance for me but didn’t wait around to hold my hand on the \u003cbr\u003eride in.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e     I’m just going to assume someone tried to kill me. That’s what it feels like. Eight out of ten on the pain scale with a side of abandonment. If I find out I just slipped and did this to myself, I’m going to be really disappointed.\u003cbr\u003e     Halfway through \u003ci\u003eKeeping Up with the Kardashians\u003c\/i\u003e, which  I’ve been binge-watching on the small TV in my hospital room ever since I woke up, my medical team walks in. They all smell like Purell, even though current research tells me they’re probably mostly spreading germs. Bad hair won’t be my only problem if I don’t get out of this place soon. And I’m pretty sure I’m not even a germophobe. I have a feeling that I’m really well-adjusted. Who the fuck knows, though. What does well- adjusted even mean? I might as well say that I love all kinds of music, even country. But no one loves country.\u003cbr\u003e     Brenda, who ordered me a special gluten-free, vegetarian meal because I “just look like a vegetarian, honey,” explains the facts to the neurologist, Dr. Patel. He’d be attractive if he didn’t look so much like a neurologist. If \u003ci\u003eQueer Eye \u003c\/i\u003eever got their hands on him, they’d get rid of his rumpled, secondhand clothes and truss him up in a sexy, fuchsia shirt and slim-fit pants in his actual size. (You are not a 34-inch waist, Dr. Patel.)\u003cbr\u003e     “The patient can’t seem to remember her name,” Brenda says.\u003cbr\u003e     Kim, Khloé, Kourtney, Kris, Caitlyn, Kanye, Kendall, Kylie, and all the assorted babies . . . I know all of their names. But who the hell am I?\u003cbr\u003e     The neurologist interrupts Kim, who’s talking about permanent lip liner with zero expression on her face. “How are you doing?”\u003cbr\u003e     Why can’t I tune Kim out? It’s like my brain is hardwired to focus on her. Because she’s pretty? Because her problems are dumber and therefore less stressful than mine? Because of her butt? “I seem to be having trouble focusing,” I say to Dr. Patel. “I don’t know if that’s normal for me.”\u003cbr\u003e     Patel finally looks up from my chart. “Time will tell. Before I explain your test results, do you mind if I do a physical examination of your head?”\u003cbr\u003e     I might not have all of my memories, but I have a feeling I’ve been asked that before.\u003cbr\u003e     “As for the physical trauma,” he says, “MRI and CT are negative for signs of intracranial bleeding. The swelling in your brain must be going down, which is why you woke up. The headache probably won’t go away for at least a week.”\u003cbr\u003e     “How about my memory?”\u003cbr\u003e     “Your memory—” He stops for a second to look at an incoming text on his phone. “You have what’s known as traumatic amnesia, which means your memories will likely come back to you as your injuries heal. But there’s no telling when— and you might struggle for quite some time.”\u003cbr\u003e     The light-headed feeling hits again and my peripheral vision starts to blur, but I lean back and shut my eyes. \u003ci\u003eNo passing out\u003c\/i\u003e.\u003cbr\u003e     “For now, I think you should try to reconstruct your life as best as you can. If you can get back into some old routines, you will increase your chances of remembering. Once you get home, surround yourself with familiar faces, go back to work—you might begin to remember things.” \u003cbr\u003e     Home. Routines. Wasn’t he listening? I don’t even know my own name or who cuts my hair.   \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“Girl, you gotta cheer up,” my nurse, Brenda, says. “I have good news.”\u003cbr\u003e     “Tell me it’s a cure.” Or an invitation to live on her couch. I’ll take either.\u003cbr\u003e     “Definitely better than anything the doctors are gonna do for you.” She looks up, waiting for my full attention.\u003cbr\u003e     “Go on.”\u003cbr\u003e     “Well, I still suspect you’re a vegetarian, so you’ve got that to deal with—”\u003cbr\u003e     “How do you know?”\u003cbr\u003e     With a shake of her head and a \u003ci\u003eIf you have to ask, you’ll never understand look\u003c\/i\u003e, she says, “I charged your phone. The intake nurse thought it was broken but I gave it a little check-up. It’s cracked, but it works.” She holds it out to me.\u003cbr\u003e     An iPhone, cracked to hell and splintered. I won’t be able to click on anything in the upper third of the screen, but only my banking and weather apps are up there. The important stuff is all at the bottom, within thumb’s reach.\u003cbr\u003e     My desktop background is a picture of myself. I’ve got good hair in it, at least. Gwen Stefani blond, all sirens-of- the-silver-screen glamour on one side and a buzz cut on the other, but salon quality; it doesn’t have that \u003ci\u003eI buzzed it myself in a dimly lit bathroom vibe\u003c\/i\u003e—I don’t think. I hold out the phone to Brenda. “Does this hairstyle seem like a weird choice to you, or is it just me?” \u003cbr\u003e     Brenda lets out a startled laugh. “Little weird. Can’t say I’m surprised.”\u003cbr\u003e     “Whatever, Brenda. You love me.”\u003cbr\u003e     She raises an eyebrow. “And you love quinoa.”\u003cbr\u003e     “Take me out to lunch and we’ll find out.” I look at the screen. It’s a lifeline to all of my friends and family—everything that matters. I mean, it’s one thing to lose your memory but another thing altogether to lose your phone. Email, texts, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram . . . Does it even matter that my memories aren’t in my brain? Everything that counts is on my phone. Hard data and digital evidence.\u003cbr\u003e     Including my name . . .       \u003cbr\u003e     \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003col\u003e \u003c\/ol\u003e","brand":"Quirk Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46304858833125,"sku":"NP9781683691686","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781683691686.jpg?v=1767736685","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/siri-who-am-i-isbn-9781683691686","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}