{"product_id":"shootin-the-sh-t-with-kevin-smith-the-best-of-smodcast-isbn-9781845764159","title":"Shootin' the Sh*t with Kevin Smith: The Best of SModcast","description":"Following on from the New York Times-bestselling My Boring-Ass Life, Kevin Smith is back! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn freewheeling conversations with his friend and producer Scott Mosier (as heard on their top-rated podcast, known as SModcast), we discover — to pick just four random examples of the riches therein — the genesis of Stalin’s Monkey Soldier army, the horrifying tale of Kevin vs. Steak Tartare, how to make bukkake eggs, and how Kevin was once willing to let Alanis Morissette get mugged... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDefiantly lewd, crude and hilariously rude, Shootin’ the Sh*t with Kevin Smith is a must for all his fans!  Adults Only!\"One of the funniest things I’ve read this year.\" – Lev Grossman, Time.com\u003cb\u003eKevin Smith\u003c\/b\u003e sold his comic book collection to fund \u003ci\u003eClerks\u003c\/i\u003e, and after the film became a huge hit he was able to buy them back. Smith was the producer of the Oscar-winning \u003ci\u003eGood Will Hunting\u003c\/i\u003e and has also written and directed \u003ci\u003eMallrats, Chasing Amy\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003e,\u003c\/b\u003e \u003ci\u003eDogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl,\u003c\/i\u003e \u003ci\u003eClerks II \u003c\/i\u003eand \u003ci\u003eZack and Miri Make a Porno\u003c\/i\u003e. He is also a comic book writer, and author. His previous book for Titan, \u003ci\u003eMy Boring-Ass Life: The Uncomfortably Candid Diary of Kevin Smith\u003c\/i\u003e, was a New York Time bestseller.\u003cb\u003eFrom SModcast number 52 \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Second Coming\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKevin Smith:\u003c\/b\u003e What if Jesus came back? Would they believe him that he was Jesus? Would he have to do some miracles? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eScott Mosier:\u003c\/b\u003e Yeah, if he had some powers. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eWhat kind of powers? Lasers-out-of-his-eyes Jesus? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e No-one wants magic. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eYeah they don't want the Jesus that's like, “How many loaves of bread do you have? 'Cos now you have ninety!” I'm talking about the Jesus that's like, “I return as a lion, bitch, not a lamb.” And he's got the gas finger like the alien in Signs. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e I dunno, that might get some giggles. Then everybody would get a fuckin' baseball bat and a glass of water and Jesus would be dead. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eLike, “We saw that movie.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e “Yeah, way to fuck up, Jesus.” And Jesus' return is over in twenty minutes 'cause somebody doused him with water and fucking beat him to death with a piece of wood. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“Swing away Meryl!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e “It's the Second Coming!... oh it's over.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“Everything's back to normal.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e “Is there a Third Coming? Have we read about a Third Coming?” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eIf there is, show them a better movie, where the aliens are unstoppable. Don't show them a movie where the aliens have a weakness. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e Even if he had the power where people are throwing bombs at him and shooting him and he'd be like “nah”. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eHe'd be indestructible? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e Yeah, that could be peaceful Jesus: “You could do anything you want to me, but the power of love is so strong that you cannot touch me.” That would have to make people think. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eWhat, gay Jesus? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e Well it's not like before-Jesus was out there preaching about - \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eThat's my point, he's like, “Look, last time I was gay. This time I'm coming back like a hillbilly. I'm filled with hate. I got a dog, a truck and a shotgun slung under my dash. I'm mad as hell!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e That would be effective too. “Is that a 4x4 pick-up?” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“You're damn right it is! I gotta 350 big block under the hood, bitch!” No, if \u003cbr\u003eJesus came back, less love, more like, “Look, I tried love and you nailed me to wood. Now I'm gonna come back and I'm not gonna shield my glory, I'm not \u003cbr\u003egonna hide my light under a bushel. I am the Son of God...” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSM:\u003c\/b\u003e “... and I will fuck you up.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFrom SModcast number 61: “Bridge Beach!” \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Infamous Bridge Beach Story \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e[Kevin is joined by Walt Flanagan and Bryan Johnson] \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eHave you ever been in a sexual situation where you were not the aggressor? \u003cbr\u003eWhere you felt victimised a little bit? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWalt Flanagan:\u003c\/b\u003eNo. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eThere's never been any sex where you're like, “I don't want this.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eNo. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eNever once? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eNever once. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eYou? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBryan Johnson:\u003c\/b\u003eUh... not that I can recall. I mean, there are times where like... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eWhere you hated yourself for doing it? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eYeah, sometimes. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eWhere you had a little fight with yourself, where there's a little angel and devil on your shoulder? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eThe only reason I hated myself afterwards is if the person annoyed the shit out of me afterwards, you know? Um, never though, where it's been somebody that was gross, and I'm like, “Ugh, why would I do that?” 'Cause usually I would just, trumpet back to you, or... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eYou're like, “I'm gonna make out from this story, one I'm gonna cum, two I'm \u003cbr\u003egonna tell people about it.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eWhat about Bridge Beach? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, yeah... I don't regret that. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eWhat was Bridge Beach? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, this is the hall of fame, of uh... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eI don't think I know this story. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eYou know it. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eWe were in our... probably early twenties, right, at that point? And we used to hang around the Devaneys' house. We used to go down to their house all the time, with a couple of other people that would drop by, Brian Hartsgrove... And we would get beer and drink. What was that famous beer again? Oh yeah, Budweiser. Um... and there was one night, it was kind of a party actually. Some sort of party, maybe a birthday or some shit, but there were more than the average number of people there,  and next door to the Devaneys', was... she was old, I can't remember her name... but she was like well into her sixties. And I guess her granddaughter came down. And, um... she was there for the summer. And she wasn't like, super-young, but she was maybe seventeen? Sixteen, seventeen, something like that? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eAnd you're how old at this point? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI was like, twenty. Maybe nineteen. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eSo you're going through psychological counselling for drinking? This is after fucking Pam \u0026amp; Edgar went and yelled at Jesse Strickland? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI think it was actually prior to that, but uh... anyway, so the girl comes over, and \u003cbr\u003eI'm really drunk, right? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eI don't know about that. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eThat I was really drunk? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eI don't know. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI'm not trying to put it off, I woulda done it anyway. I would do it now. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eI am not sure that you were drunk. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI was pretty drunk. I remember being pretty drunk. But at any rate, let's, for the sake of argument... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eYou were stone-cold sober. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI was buzzed. Yeah, like I was tee-totalling. Um... and I started making out with the girl, who was no less impaired than Geri Jewell. She had, like, CP [Cerebral Palsy]... but, like Hartsgrove, she had those... you know, she couldn't walk correctly, but she had the Geri Jewell sideways-talking, and head bobbing and shit. And uh... So we were making out... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, no. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eFor a good part of the night... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, no. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003e And at a certain point, Donna Devaney, you know, John and Kevin's mother, is just like, “Bryan, what are you doing? She's retarded!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, no! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eHartsgrove goes, “She has the same thing I do, I'm not retarded!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eDo you think she would have objected if Hartsgrove and her were hooking up? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI guess not, no. I guess I was seen as taking advantage. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eWho's Geri Jewell? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eYou remember on Facts of Life? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eOh, yeah... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eShe was Blair's CP cousin, who'd make jokes about being Palsy. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eSo we, um... she was also the gip on Deadwood. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eThat's right, she was on Deadwood. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eYeah... so we made out for the better part of the night... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eHow did that start? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI don't know, that I don't remember.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003e I just remember being there, and then one minute they're talking, and I turn around and he is like, full mouth on this girl that... I didn't know what she had, but that she was definitely... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eThere was an apple core at her feet. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003e ... a special ed person. And it was just so startling, it was startling to say the least. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eBut the Bridge Beach thing was... was I life guarding at that point? I think I must have been. I worked for the town as a lifeguard. So I guess I was life guarding... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eSo you were at the beach that was right next to Careless Navigator? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eRight, right. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eThe next day, he was scheduled. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eThe next guard scheduled to be there. So I told her to meet me there. And it was a real, “Parting is such sweet sorrow,” like, “Come to the Bridge Beach!” She was like, “I'm gonna be there!” I guess she got in trouble, 'cause she never did show up, I think she got in trouble for making out with me. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eBryan was screaming as we're leaving, “Bridge Beach! Bridge BEEAACH!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eShe broke my heart, though, she never did show up. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eSo the woman with CP came to her senses the next morning, and was like “I can do better than that guy.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eYeah, if you were to ask her is there anyone you've ever regretted... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“There was this one retarded guy in Highlands.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003e“I'm not retarded!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI remember Hartsgrove stayed over that night, and the front door was locked, I had to crawl through the bathroom window, fucking cut the shit out of my leg, fucked it up real bad... it was worth it though. Other than that, yeah it's mostly like, “I wish I hadn't done that because now this person is gonna keep wanting to talk to me.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eLike metal lady? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003e No, she wasn't a ho, metal lady. She was a tough fucking nut to crack, that woman. She was... for all her metal... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eShe didn't surrender to the ways of metal completely. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eShe did not, she did not. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eShe only flirted with metal. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003e Little bit of... it was a lot of, like, feeling up and that sort of stuff. A B-J after fucking... so much work, that it was... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eA lot of talking into, like “C'mon...” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eA lot of begging. A lot of offering payment. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“Please... I'm making out with CP chicks...”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI'm over here, in the meantime, floating in a sea of fucking sub-intelligent fucks. \u003cbr\u003eSitting alone at the Bridge Beach. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“I got stood up at Bridge Beach.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003e“Bridge Beeeach!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e“By who? You'll never believe.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003e“You're gonna feel sorry for me, you're gonna at least let me fucking go over the bra on this one.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eSuch a haunting image: “BRIDGE BEEEACH!” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eYou turn the corner, they can still hear it. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eYou imagine it's a movie, the next shot is me waking up, with a fucking face full of dogshit, and like “Bridge Beach” is echoing... \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eI mean, it's just like the story sounds like it's gonna end with “and I didn't go to \u003cbr\u003eBridge Beach. I wasn't gonna go to Bridge Beach.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eBut it literally ends... “Where the fuck is she?” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003e...I just think it's funny that you're like, “She must have gotten in trouble.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eI'm pretty sure she did. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKS:\u003c\/b\u003eAs opposed to, she just thought it over and was like, “Fuck this.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBJ:\u003c\/b\u003eShe got to make out with a normie, why the fuck would she not come back for more of that magic? \u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWF:\u003c\/b\u003eNo, I gotta agree with him, the way that she was like, hanging on him most the night, that we left, there was no doubt that she was forcibly kept away from that beach.","brand":"Titan Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46305450787045,"sku":"NP9781845764159","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9781845764159.jpg?v=1767736561","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/shootin-the-sh-t-with-kevin-smith-the-best-of-smodcast-isbn-9781845764159","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}