Marriage Confidential: Love in the Post-Romantic Age

“In this timely and thought-provoking analysis of modern coupledom, Pamela Haag paints a vivid tableau of the ‘semi-happy’ couple. Written with wit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against our marital complacency.” —Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

Written with the persuasive power of Naomi Wolf and the analytical skills of Susan Faludi, Pamela Haag’s provocative but sympathetic look at the state of marriage today answers—and goes beyond—the question many of us are asking: "Is this all there is?"

Marriage Confidential tackles this question with bracing candor, taking us inside a world where romantic ideas have given way to a "post-romantic" mood and a fair number of marriages end up "semi-happy." It's a world where the husbands of "workhorse wives" pursue the Having It All dream that married women have abandoned; where children have migrated from the children's table to the centerpiece; and where technology, demography, and economy place unprecedented stresses on marital fidelity. Among other examples of marriage trailblazers, Haag even presents a case for how updated ideas of non-monogamy might be an option for the future.

Uniquely weaving together cultural commentary, memoir, storytelling, history, and research, Marriage Confidential gives us a riveting glimpse of what the future of marriage might look like.

This insightful relationships book explores the melancholy marriage and the couples who are rewriting the rules:

• The Semi-Happy Marriage: An unflinching look at low-conflict but melancholy spouses who privately wonder, "Is this as good as it gets?"
• Workhorse Wives: Why the "Having It All" dream fell to a new generation of wives, leaving them to support their husbands’ creative pursuits.
• Parenting Marriages: How children have migrated from the children's table to the centerpiece of the family, placing unprecedented stress on the couple.
• The New Monogamy: A provocative exploration of "rebel couples" who are rewriting the rules on fidelity, from "married dating" to ethical nonmonogamy.

Marriage Confidential tackles this question with bracing candor, taking us inside a world where romantic ideas have given way to a "post-romantic" mood and a fair number of marriages end up "semi-happy." It's a world where the husbands of "workhorse wives" pursue the Having It All dream that married women have abandoned; where children have migrated from the children's table to the centerpiece; and where technology, demography, and economy place unprecedented stresses on marital fidelity. Among other examples of marriage trailblazers, Haag even presents a case for how updated ideas of non-monogamy might be an option for the future.

Uniquely weaving together cultural commentary, memoir, storytelling, history, and research, Marriage Confidential gives us a riveting glimpse of what the future of marriage might look like.

“Fascinating. . . . Couldn’t be more timely or relevant.” - Huffington Post

“A fascinating journey through the evolution of marriage.” - Date Night Magazine

“The personal is political after all. This first big history of the marriages of the post-feminist generation tells a riveting story of how socially empowered women-including many who opted out-and their mates are still struggling to find happiness in their personal lives.” - Linda Hirshman, author of Get to Work: . . . And Get a Life, Before It's Too Late

“[Haag] doesn’t shy away from controversy in discussing how some marriage ‘rebels’ try to breathe new life into their relationships. A candid and thought-provoking read.” - Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage

“In this timely and thought-provoking analysis of modern coupledom, Pamela Haag paints a vivid tableau of the ‘semi-happy’ couple. Written with wit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against our marital complacency.” - Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

“I read it voraciously. . . . [Haag] is thoughtful, engaging, unconventional, and amusing.” - Bella DePaulo, Psychology Today

“The chances are, this book describes your marriage. . . . It’s also an entertaining read.” - Mail on Sunday (UK)

“If you’re coupled up—or want to be—you’ve got to read this.” - Glamour

“The perfect book club choice.;. . . Free of the inflammatory politics and cultural baggage that usually accompanies the topic.;. . . It does make you reflect on modern mating habits. It’s fun.” - USA Today

“[A] fun, interesting read.” - TODAY

“A startlingly honest and surprisingly funny account of marital discontent, including (on occasion) the author’s own. Avoiding comfortable bromides and rejecting the usual clichés, Haag reports on how married people really live these days—and guess what? It’s not all bad news! This is one of the few books around with something new to say about the travails of modern love and coupledom.” - Laura Kipnis, author of Against Love: A Polemic and How to Become a Scandal

“A startlingly honest and surprisingly funny account of marital discontent…. Avoiding comfortable bromides and rejecting the usual clichés, Haag reports on how married people really live these days…. This is one of the few books around with something new to say about the travails of modern love and coupledom.” - Laura Kipnis, author of Against Love: A Polemic and How to Become a Scandal

“Brilliant. . . . Marriage Confidential is both laugh-out-loud funny and gasp-out-loud shocking, and nothing less than a Feminine Mystique for our time. Mark my words, your marriage will change after reading this book.” - Paul Harding, Wall Street Journal

“Throughout her initial analysis she is spot-on. . . . [with a] sharp, erudite style . . . Haag has her capable finger on the pulse of the American marriage.” - Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“Sterling.;. . . Marriage Confidential is so rare, such a pleasantly charming pearl of great price;. . . You learn something, but you hardly notice because you’re having such a good time.;. . . Flat-out brilliant.;. . . Valuable and innovative suggestions. You might owe it to your marriage to read them.” - Washington Post Book World

“Marriage Confidential is so rare, such a pleasantly charming pearl of great price . . . You learn something, but you hardly notice because you’re having such a good time.;. . . Flat-out brilliant.” - Washington Post Book World

“Haag’s well-researched provocative study will get you thinking.” - People, "Great Summer Reads"

“Provocative.” - The Times (London)

“Pamela Haag takes a fresh look at the state of our legal unions.” - More

“The personal is political after all. This first big history of the marriages of the post-feminist generation tells a riveting story of how socially empowered women—including many who opted out—and their mates are still struggling to find happiness in their personal lives.” - Linda Hirshman, author of Get to Work: . . . And Get a Life, Before It's Too Late

“[Haag] wittily and meticulously explores what sets apart those who suffer quietly in their semi-happy marriages from those who take action-whether that action is working to improve the situation, splitting up, retreating to a man cave or having an affair.” - BookPage