{"product_id":"love-poems-for-anxious-people-isbn-9780593190685","title":"Love Poems for Anxious People","description":"\u003cb\u003eIn the spirit of his \u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e bestseller \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for Married People\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for People with Children\u003c\/i\u003e, as well as his wildly popular \u003ci\u003eNew Yorker\u003c\/i\u003e pieces, Thurber Prize-winner John Kenney presents a hilarious new collection of poetry for anxious people.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith the same brilliant wit and hilarious realism that made \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for Married People \u003c\/i\u003eand \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for People with Children\u003c\/i\u003e such hits, John Kenney is back with a brand new collection of poems, this time taking on one of the most common feelings in our day-and-age: anxiety. Kenney covers it all, from awkward social interactions and insomnia to nervous ticks and writing and \u003ci\u003erewriting\u003c\/i\u003e that email.\"Kenney's sweet, funny poems about the banal and everyday—too-true nods to the intimacy of sharing a bed with someone without touching at all, or the nothing-speak of corporate communication—make great presents for spouses, friends, and work wives.\" \u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e—Vanity Fair\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e“This is a collection of poems rooted in the day-to-day minutiae of life’s little stressors. Kenney is able to capture these moments with a comedic salve. There may have never been a moment when we’ve needed these more. Just like the daily affirmation app tells us: 'Today is going to be a great day.' And Kenney, like us, knows that it is not.” \u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e--Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cb\u003eJohn Kenney\u003c\/b\u003e is the \u003ci\u003eNew York Times \u003c\/i\u003ebestselling author of the humorous poetry collections \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for Married People\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eLove Poems for People with Children\u003c\/i\u003e, and the novels \u003ci\u003eTalk to Me\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eTruth in Advertising\u003c\/i\u003e, which won the Thurber Prize for American Humor. He has worked for many years as a copywriter. He has also been a contributor to \u003ci\u003eThe New Yorker \u003c\/i\u003emagazine since 1999. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.\u003cp\u003eWhat to think if someone has given you this book \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas a gift\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerhaps you are thinking, Hey. Someone has just given me this book and it has the word anxious in the title. Asshole.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon't worry. Just because someone gave you this book does not mean they think you are anxious or uptight or have \"issues.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut chances are you are anxious and uptight and most likely have issues. And no, that is not an insult. It is a compliment. It means you are very likely an interesting person.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut also complicated and probably difficult to live with, even though you think you are easy to live with (a classic sign of someone who is difficult to live with).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe point is to simply enjoy the book in the spirit with which it was given. Which most likely was a ploy to get you to see a therapist. Also to possibly regift it to a person you know who, like you, has serious emotional issues.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat to think if you bought this book \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efor yourself\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGood for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt says a great deal about you that you would carry around a book with the word anxious in the title. Especially since you are not anxious.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOh sure, there's a little bubble of fear that sits in your stomach most days. But who doesn't have that? (Calm people.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnxiety is a total stranger to you. Well, maybe not a total stranger. Maybe you see anxiety in the neighborhood from time to time. Heck, maybe you have welcomed anxiety into your home, had a coffee and a laugh. Well, maybe not a laugh so much as a question. And that question was about your persistent cough and whether you should have an MRI that very day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe point is to relax. Remember, you are not an anxious person. And you are holding a book with the word anxious on the cover to prove it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut also thinking that maybe you should return it and hoping you've kept the receipt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat to think if you borrowed this book from \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ea friend or the library\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReally?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou couldn't buy this?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm a freelance poet, for God's sake.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo you have any idea how hard it is to get the IRS to even recognize that as a real thing?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWow.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWebMD\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt started out simple enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA brief search.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKanker sore.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich I spelled wrong\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand now realize is a district in India\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas well as the Dutch slang\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efor a very bad word\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand also, somehow, cancer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich led me to a site that linked\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ecanker sores to cold sores\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eshowing how oral cancer lesions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ecan mimic an open canker sore,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003esymptoms of which include\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003emouth pain and difficulty swallowing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e(both of which I suddenly had)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas I followed a link to\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethe definition of head and neck cancer\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich I did not know was a thing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003enor did I realize I was now at risk of it\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas a result of my mouth lesion\/canker\/cancer sore\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich often causes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003egolf-ball-size tumors\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eresulting in blindness, lack of motor function,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand complete sexual dysfunction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich is good to know.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThen I looked up an earache I was having\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand it turns out I have two months to live\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eor possibly a head cold.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEulogy\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe are here today\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto celebrate the life\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eof Martin Greengrass\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efather, grandfather, dear friend.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I, Nathan, his eldest grandson,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ehave been chosen-\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ehonored, really-\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto give his eulogy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhere do I begin?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBoy was he old.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlso, apparently eulogy is from\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethe Greek word \"to praise.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr possibly \"to die.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm not sure, as I just looked that one up\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eon my phone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf I appear a bit nervous\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eit's because I am.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe thing is\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have never given a eulogy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I wrote something last night\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand put it on my desk\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003enext to the work presentation\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have later today\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto our agency's Coffee Mate client.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd so what I have here\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eis, in fact, my Coffee Mate presentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe irony, of course, is that Martin loved Coffee Mate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe original flavor\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut also French vanilla, Irish crme,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand our newest flavor,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ehazelnut.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI would now like to open it up for questions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eabout Martin\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas well as Coffee Mate's marketing strategy for Q4.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere comes someone whose name I should know\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe have met so many times\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eyou and I.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd yet I have no idea\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhat your name is\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas I stand\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efrozen\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003einane grin on my face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo you have a name?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere you come\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003esmiling\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ecalling my name\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas well as the names of my wife\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003echildren\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand dog, Fortinbras.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich I kind of can't believe you remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy God, you're almost here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I will need to introduce you\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto the person next to me\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhose name may be Beth. Or Valentina. I'm not sure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere's a quick thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot about your name\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut about the urge I have right now\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto just start running.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat would be a weird thing to do, though,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eat a children's birthday party.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut not as weird as what I do.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich is stuff two cupcakes\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003einto my mouth\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eso as not to be able to speak\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut almost immediately choke\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003espewing frosting\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eon your face. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOhmigod, Alan, Beth\/Valentina shouts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHis name is Alan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich I will now never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAm I meditating yet?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAm I doing this right\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003esitting here\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ecross-legged\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003etrying to empty my mind\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eor clear my mind\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eor not think\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eor just be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI forget which.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe thoughts aren't real\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eaccording to the voice\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eon the meditation app.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey're just clouds floating by.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWait. Does that mean it's going to rain?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhoops.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWatch them go by.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, floating clouds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSmile at the clouds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFake smile. Sadness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhoops.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBreathe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBe late for work.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGet fired.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNever work again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecome homeless and die on the streets in your own filth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr balloons, the voice says.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThoughts are like balloons.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGently pop the thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut if you pop a balloon\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethe sound is very loud and makes children cry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hate that sound.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWill I ever have children?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes I am impotent in the bedroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDeep breath.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDay one, completed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHonest date\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKate?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes. Hi. Adam?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah. Hey.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWow. So.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI don't know how to start a conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou have beautiful breasts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo you want a drink?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA beer would be great.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm having beer, too. Ha. You're shorter than I imagined. So nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHa. Are you laughing at me? I hate my own face. Have you been here before?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo this bar? No. Nope. So Tina tells me you're in marketing? Do you like that?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hate it. But I'm too afraid to leave because I have no self-esteem. You?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm not really sure what my company does. Sometimes at work I just sit in the stall in the ladies' room and cry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy penis is small and shaped weird and looks like a baby turtle. I heard it's supposed to snow later. I like snow.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI love snow. I hate sex though. So . . . That's a nice watch.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThanks. It was incredibly expensive and I regretted buying it almost immediately. I bought it to feel love I never received from my mother. But it is water resistant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI hate my sister so much.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWant to share an appetizer? I use masturbation to avoid anxiety.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSure. I'm going to stay seated, though, because I like to punch my thighs in the face, if that makes sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOkay. Did I mention I'm terrified of public bathrooms?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is so much worse than I thought it would be. Tequila?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSounds good.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA friend hasn't texted me back yet and I am totally fine with that\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's fine. She's busy. Who isn't busy?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's just that it's been a few days\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand it was an awesome picture\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eof my appetizer\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eat a restaurant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhatever.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWeird though.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe could have at least hearted it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI mean, it's a nice photo if you like arugula (which she does).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's fine. Is it though?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwo days. Nothing. Well, a day and a half, technically.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd she definitely saw it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRead. The text said Read.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo I know she read it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd then ignored it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr laughed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLaughed at my photo of my appetizer which,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003esure, appeared to just be arugula, but it also had beets and shaved Parmesan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd now I'm an asshole.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe this nice-person faade was total crap.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI should have trusted my gut when I initially liked her\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut then wondered if she was too nice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe's a horrible person.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I should tell her that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWait.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA text from her. Finally.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo hey. My grandmother died.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat would explain things.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStill. Commenting on my salad would have killed her?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIncredibly relaxed at the beach with the kids\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLook at me\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003erelaxed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eat the beach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewith the kids\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eslathered in sunscreen\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas I sit huddled under an umbrella\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003elarge hat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand T-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ehiding all skin from the sun\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich I am enjoying\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut also deeply aware of its cancer-causing rays.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe ocean looks lovely\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebut also deadly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRiptides jellyfish sharks\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGerman submarines.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell. Not for some time now. But still.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGet away from the water! I scream at the children\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewithout realizing I was going to scream.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is so much fun. The beach.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSand in my sandwich.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have forgotten my sunglasses\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand my retinas feel like they are melting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTraffic home will be bad.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI saw a T-shirt once.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLife's a beach. And then you die.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt might have said life's a bitch. Not beach.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have bad vision.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich, come to think of it, could also be glaucoma.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOld friends\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am having a party\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eat home\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ealone\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand so many of my old friends are here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnxiety, look at you sweating.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSay hello to my good friend Embarrassment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI think you both met in junior high.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd over here by himself\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efacing the wall\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eis my friend Shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd there\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eunaware\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethat his fly is down\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand cream cheese is on his face\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eis my dear friend\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAwkward Moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd what a treat!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSelf-loathing just walked in.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI haven't seen you since I looked in the mirror this morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd you brought Regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI wish you hadn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat was a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJob interview thank-you note\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThank you again\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efor taking the time\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto meet with me this morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd also respecting my schedule\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eby cutting our thirty-minute interview\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto just seven minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am glad you were able to see\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ein that remarkably short window\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ehow much I would love the opportunity\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto work for your company.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI would also like to apologize\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eagain\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003efor complimenting the photo\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eof your grandmother\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eon your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI did not realize that she was\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ein fact\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eyour wife.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI should add that I often laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhen I am nervous\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich was why I was laughing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas I was escorted from the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI look forward to hearing from you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy condolences (and a few other things)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am so sorry for your loss\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI said to the family members\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhen I finally made it\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eto the front of the line.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I was.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was also sorry\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethat the line was so long\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich I also mentioned.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBy mistake.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow it had been, like,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eForty-five minutes and my legs\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewere killing me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI should not have used the phrase killing me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut the casket was open\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand I was sure I saw something move\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand was briefly startled\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ein the way seeing a ghost can startle you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr make you almost wet yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe problem was I mentioned that too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlso that I almost wet myself (which I may have a bit)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebecause I thought I saw the body moving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e(Turns out it didn't.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn fairness\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethey had already been crying a bit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ebefore I got to the front of the line.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThough perhaps not quite so loudly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave a nice day\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt school drop-off\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eone of the moms said\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ecasually\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Have a nice day!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I thought\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat the hell did she mean by that?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes she think I don't have nice days?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWas she being sarcastic?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes she not think I'm nice?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe kind of hit the word day\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eas if to say\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave a nice day, you freak.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid I say something wrong?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy did she use the word nice?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes she think my days aren't normally nice?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe it was the have.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave a nice day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat does that even mean?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLike I don't have any purpose to my days?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'll tell you what I have now.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have a headache and a pit in my stomach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethanks to that bomb you just dropped on me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo thanks for that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou have a nice day too!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat's what I should have said.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTeacher's note home about the upcoming second-grade field trip\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe are so excited about the upcoming field trip.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA few gentle reminders.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe bus will leave promptly at 8:20am.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren arriving later than 8:20am will not be allowed on the bus.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is imperative that no one brings anything that has nuts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm not kidding. Don't do it. I swear to God.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis includes anything with the word nuts\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eeven if it is a child's stuffy named \"Peanut.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e(That stuffy has been confiscated.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlso eggs or any egg product or anything made with eggs or egg-shaped toys.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo dairy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing with sugar or sugar substitutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo store-bought fruit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere will be no plastic on the bus.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis includes plastic bags, plastic water bottles, plastic toys.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere will be no speaking on the bus.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChildren who speak on the bus will be removed from the bus and left by the side of the road.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe trip to the museum is approximately twenty minutes in length.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDue to liability, at no point will the children be allowed in the museum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey can look at the museum from a distance of no closer than one hundred feet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo photos or drawings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAny child who sings will be punished.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThank you and we are so excited!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday is going to be a great day\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI know that because\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ethat's what my daily affirmation app says.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePing!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday is going to be a great day, Helen!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt knows my name\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eand uses exclamation points\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhich annoy me a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo far, though,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003etoday has kind of sucked.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYesterday my affirmation said\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI love and accept myself!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich, I have to admit, did not pan out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e(I didn't and I don't.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe day before that was\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI can handle anything life throws at me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, that's true.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf the line had continued\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e. . . by crying and curling into a ball under my desk at work.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have some ideas for daily affirmations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI will wet myself a bit when a car tailgates me and leans on the horn, surprising me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you see someone you know and they haven't seen you, hiding behind a bush is perfectly acceptable behavior.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"G.P. Putnam's Sons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46301130227941,"sku":"NP9780593190685","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780593190685.jpg?v=1767731905","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/love-poems-for-anxious-people-isbn-9780593190685","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}