{"product_id":"laugh-lines-isbn-9780307277138","title":"Laugh Lines","description":"This one-of-a-kind anthology features thirty-six hilarious short plays by major American playwrights and emerging new voices, all guaranteed to send readers and audiences into peals of laughter. From the surrealistic wit of Steve Martin's \"The Zig-Zag Woman\" to the biting political satire of Steven Dietz's \"The Spot,\" from Christopher Durang's wonderfully loopy \"Wanda's Visit\" to Shel Silverstein's supremely twisted \"The Best Daddy,\" there's something in here to make everyone laugh. There are plays for casts of all sizes, from monologues to large ensembles, with diverse and challenging roles for actors of every age and type. Even the titles are funny:  Mark O'Donnell's \"There Shall Be No Bottom (a bad play for worse actors),\" Elaine May's \"The Way of All Fish,\" and Alan Ball's \"Your Mother's Butt.\" A bonanza for theatergoers, performers, and comedy fans, \u003ci\u003eLaugh Lines \u003c\/i\u003ewill bring down the house.\u003ci\u003eIntroduction\u003cbr\u003eAcknowledgments\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eDavid Auburn:  MISS YOU\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlan Ball:  YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGina Barnett:  ALONE AT LAST!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGlen Berger:  THE GALLOWS MONOLOGUE\u003cbr\u003e—FROM SIDNEY RYAN'S\u003cbr\u003e—\u003ci\u003eGUNPOWDER AND BLOOD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003eDavid Cale:  POODLES\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEric Coble:  TIES THAT BIND\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSharon E. Cooper:  MISTAKEN IDENTITY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLaura Shaine Cunningham:  OUTSOURCED\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdrienne Dawes:  HERITAGE, HER-I-TAGE, \u0026amp; HAIR-I-TAGE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSteven Dietz:  THE SPOT\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePaul Dooley \u0026amp; Winne Holzman:  POST-ITS (Notes on a Marriage)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eChristopher Durang:  WANDA'S VISIT\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePeter Hedges:  THE VALERIE OF NOW\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMikhail Horowitz:  WE CANNOT KNOW\u003cbr\u003e—THE MIND OF GOD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSeth Kramer:  THE TARANTINO VARIATION\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEric Lane:  THE STATUE OF BOLÍVAR\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWarrent Light:  MARS HAS NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMark Harvey Levine:  SURPRISE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDavid Lindsay-Abaire:  HOW WE TALK IN SOUTH BOSTON\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSteve Martin: THE ZIG-ZAG WOMAN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eElaine May:  THE WAY OF ALL FISH\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMark O'Donnell: THERE SHALL BE NO BOTTOM (a bad play for worse actors)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJonathan Rand:  CHECK, PLEASE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWayne Rawley:  CONTROLLING INTEREST\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJacquelyn Reingold:  2B (OR NOT 2B)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEdwin Sánchez: POPS\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNina Shengold:  FORTY TO LIFE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShel Silverstein:  THE BEST DADDY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDavid Smilow:  THE FLYING WOLIMSKIES RETURN\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTommy Smith:  STREAK\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRichard Strand: ROSA'S EULOGY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrederick Stroppel: CHOCOLATE\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJoyce Van Dyke:  THE EARRING\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDaryl Watson:  THE BLUEBERRY HILL ACCORD\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLauren Wilson:  WEDDING DUET\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGarth Wingfield:  PLEASE HAVE A SEAT AND SOMEONE WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eContributors\u003cbr\u003eAbout the Editors\u003cbr\u003eIndex\u003cbr\u003ePermissions and Acknowledgments\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cp\u003eEric Lane and Nina Shengold have been editing contemporary theater anthologies for more than twenty years. Eric Lane's award-winning plays have been published and performed in the United States, Canada, Europe, and China. Plays include \u003ci\u003eRide, Times of War, Heart of the City, Dancing on Checkers' Grave, \u003c\/i\u003eand\u003ci\u003e Filming O'Keeffe. Floating\u003c\/i\u003e, a PlayPenn finalist, was workshopped at Raven Theatre. Eric's short plays are published in \u003ci\u003eBest American Short Plays, Poems and Plays\u003c\/i\u003e, and the \u003ci\u003eForeign Language Press\u003c\/i\u003e (Beijing). He wrote and produced the short films \u003ci\u003eFirst Breath\u003c\/i\u003e and \u003ci\u003eCater-Waiter\u003c\/i\u003e, which he also directed; both films screened in more than forty cities worldwide. For TV's \u003ci\u003eRyan's Hope\u003c\/i\u003e he received a Writers Guild Award. Honors include the Berrilla Kerr Playwriting Award, the La MaMa Playwright Award, and fellowships at Yaddo, VCCA, and St. James Cavalier in Malta. Eric is an honors graduate of Brown University, and artistic director of Orange Thoughts, a not-for-profit theater and film company in New York City. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNina Shengold's plays include \u003ci\u003eFinger Foods, War at Home, Homesteaders\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003ci\u003eRomeo\/Juliet\u003c\/i\u003e, and have been produced around the world. Her one-act \u003ci\u003eNo Shoulder\u003c\/i\u003e was filmed by director Suzi Yoonessi, with Melissa Leo and Samantha Sloyan. Nina won a Writers Guild Award for her teleplay \u003ci\u003eLabor of Love\u003c\/i\u003e, starring Marcia Gay Harden; other teleplays include \u003ci\u003eBlind Spot\u003c\/i\u003e, with Joanne Woodward and Laura Linney, and\u003ci\u003e Unwed Father\u003c\/i\u003e. Her books include the novel \u003ci\u003eClearcut\u003c\/i\u003e; \u003ci\u003eRiver of Words: Portraits of Hudson Valley Writers\u003c\/i\u003e (with photographer Jennifer May), and a growing posse of pseudonymous books for young readers. A graduate of Wesleyan, she is currently teaching creative writing at Manhattanville College. Nina lives in New York's Hudson Valley, where she has been books editor of \u003ci\u003eChronogram\u003c\/i\u003e magazine since 2004.\u003c\/p\u003eAn Excerpt fromMiss Youby David Auburn(First published in \u003ci\u003eFifth Planet and Other Plays\u003c\/i\u003e, copyright © 2002 by David Auburn)\u003ci\u003eMiss You\u003c\/i\u003e was first produced at the HBO Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado, on January 5, 1997. It was directed by James Eckhouse. The cast was as follows:WOMAN 1, 2 Lisa EdelsteinMAN 1, 2 Jerry LevineCHARACTERSMANWOMANMAN 2WOMAN 2MAN\u003ci\u003e and \u003c\/i\u003eWOMAN\u003ci\u003e on the phone.\u003c\/i\u003eWOMAN: Hello?MAN: I miss you!WOMAN: Oh, hi.MAN: Miss me?WOMAN: Uh-huh.MAN: Really?WOMAN: Yes. Yes I do: I miss you.MAN: A lot?WOMAN: Yes.MAN: How much?WOMAN: I told you, a lot.MAN: God, I miss you.WOMAN: Mm.MAN: I wish you were here.WOMAN: Yes.MAN: I wish you were here right now.WOMAN: Mm.MAN: I wish I was \u003ci\u003ethere\u003c\/i\u003e.WOMAN: Uh-huh.MAN: I wish I could be there with you: I mean, I really \u003ci\u003emiss\u003c\/i\u003e you. I have a—WOMAN: I know.MAN: I have a—WOMAN: Can you hold on?MAN: I have a little sur—WOMAN: Can you hold on a sec? I've got another call.MAN: S (ure)—(\u003ci\u003eBeat. She clicks over.\u003c\/i\u003e)WOMAN: Hello?MAN 2: Hey.WOMAN: Oh, God. Oh, God, hi! Oh, hi! God, hi!MAN 2: Hey.WOMAN: Hi, God, you called! I was hoping you'd-where have you been? Hi! Thank you for calling! How are you?MAN 2: I'm fine.WOMAN: Great.MAN 2: How are—WOMAN: Great. Wonderful. Now! Hi. When can I see you? Are you free? Are you busy? I can get time. Do you want to get something to eat tonight? Or we can cook. I can shop and we can— We can stay in. \u003ci\u003eWe can cook here\u003c\/i\u003e, I've got wine. \u003ci\u003eCome over\u003c\/i\u003e. Come over now if you want. I miss you.MAN 2: Listen-WOMAN: I miss you. Yesterday afternoon was-the museum was wonderful (I can't believe I live right here in the city and I never go), and the walk, and the river. And the ice cream! Unh! \u003ci\u003eNothing\u003c\/i\u003e has ever tasted so good to me in my life, I swear to God, it was—and drinks by the—and dinner, and \u003ci\u003eGod\u003c\/i\u003e, you looked so—and last night was—MAN 2: Listen, there's some things I should do, but we ought to try to get together.WOMAN: Try? Try to get together? Yes, I think we should \"try\"! I mean, yes. \u003ci\u003eYes\u003c\/i\u003e. That would be great. Tonight? Do you want to set something up for tonight? (\u003ci\u003eBeat\u003c\/i\u003e.)MAN 2: Tonight?WOMAN: Yes. We could—MAN 2: Look, can I call you back?WOMAN: What?MAN 2: I gotta call you back.WOMAN: Okay, but call me right—MAN 2: Yeah. I'll call you. I'll talk to you. Okay?WOMAN: Soon. I'll talk to you, okay—MAN 2: Bye. (\u003ci\u003eBeat\u003c\/i\u003e.)WOMAN: Bye— (\u003ci\u003eShe almost hangs up\u003c\/i\u003e.) Shit— (\u003ci\u003eClicks over\u003c\/i\u003e.) Hello?MAN: Hello?WOMAN: It's me.MAN: \u003ci\u003eI missed you!\u003c\/i\u003eWOMAN: I'm sorry. I couldn't get—MAN: I'm coming home.WOMAN: What?MAN: I'm calling because I'm coming home. It's my surprise. I'm cutting things short. I'm at the airport!WOMAN: Why?MAN: I'm about to get on an airplane.WOMAN: No, why-you're cutting things short? Can you do that?MAN: Yes. I worked straight through. I haven't slept for two days so I'd get done early because I \u003ci\u003emissed\u003c\/i\u003e you and I'm—WOMAN: Wait. Hold—MAN: We take off in ten minutes. They're preboarding now. I'm carrying my—I want to give you my arrival time so you can come get me. I've only got carry-on, so don't come to the gate, don't park, just pull up at arriving flights and I'll be—WOMAN: 'Nother call, sorry, I—MAN: Honey, wait, I'm about to board, I don't want to miss my—WOMAN: (\u003ci\u003eClicks over\u003c\/i\u003e.) Hello?MAN: No, it's still me. Don't go. I don't want to miss my—WOMAN: Sorry, \u003ci\u003ehold on\u003c\/i\u003e. (\u003ci\u003eClicks\u003c\/i\u003e.) \u003ci\u003eHello? Hello?\u003c\/i\u003eMAN 2: Hey, me.WOMAN: Oh, \u003ci\u003ehi\u003c\/i\u003e!MAN 2: Hey. Listen. I—WOMAN: That was \u003ci\u003efast\u003c\/i\u003e! You're—MAN 2: Listen, I just realized, I've got a lot of things to take care of.WOMAN: Uh-huh.MAN 2: So I think we better—WOMAN: What?MAN 2: I think we better take a rain check on tonight.WOMAN: A rain check.MAN 2: We'll do it some other time.WOMAN: You have a lot of \u003ci\u003ethings\u003c\/i\u003e to take care of?MAN 2: Yeah.WOMAN: What things?MAN 2: I should get some sleep. I have to get up early.WOMAN: We spend the day together yesterday. You didn't have things to take care of. Yesterday turned into last night and it was a long sleepless night and that seemed fine with you then; it seemed wonderful to me—MAN 2: We'll have to do it another time.WOMAN: I don't have another \u003ci\u003etime\u003c\/i\u003e. This is the time. Do you see? Let's do this \u003ci\u003enow\u003c\/i\u003e. I'm sorry. I just mean, while we can. We shouldn't miss this. Yesterday came out of nowhere. We were together. It was \u003ci\u003egreat\u003c\/i\u003e. I loved it. I loved being with you. I loved you. (\u003ci\u003eBeat\u003c\/i\u003e.) Did you hear me? I love you. Can you hear me? Are you there?MAN 2: Can you hold on a minute?WOMAN: What?MAN 2: I've got another call coming in.WOMAN: Don't take it!MAN 2: I have to—WOMAN: They'll call back.MAN 2: I'll just be—WOMAN: \u003ci\u003eDon't\u003c\/i\u003e— (\u003ci\u003eHe clicks over\u003c\/i\u003e.)MAN 2: Hello?","brand":"Vintage","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46305472544997,"sku":"NP9780307277138","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780307277138.jpg?v=1767731192","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/laugh-lines-isbn-9780307277138","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}