Junie B. Jones #2: Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business

THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SERIES WITH OVER 80 MILLION COPIES SOLD • Join Junie B. as she and her family get ready to welcome a new—and possibly peculiar—family member in the hit chapter book series that keeps kids laughing and “makes reading fun” (Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man).

“Junie B. is the darling of the young-reader set.”—USA Today

Meet the World’s Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones! Junie B.’s family is growing, and apparently her new B-A-B-Y brother is a really big deal. But when her grandmother calls him “the cutest little monkey,” Junie B. takes her seriously—and can’t wait to tell her friends at school that her family’s new addition is a real, live monkey!

From acclaimed author Barbara Park, this hilarious series—starring the wittiest, sassiest kindergartener around—is sure to be laugh-out-loud fun for the whole family!

Be sure to check out Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business: The Graphic Novel, available now!Praise for Barbara Park’s Junie B. Jones series

“Park, one of the funniest writers around . . . brings her refreshing humor to the beginning chapter-book set.”—Booklist

“Park convinces beginning readers that Junie B.—and reading—are lots of fun.”—Publishers Weekly

“Junie’s swarms of young fans will continue to delight in her unique take on the world. . . . A hilarious, first-rate read-aloud.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Junie B. Jones is a feisty six-year-old with an endearing penchant for honesty.”—Time

“Park is truly a funny writer. Although Junie B. is a kindergartner, she’s sure to make middle graders laugh out loud.”—School Library Journal

“Barbara Park captured, with authenticity and heart, the voice of a six-year-old child. Junie B. is a spunky little girl who is naive, lacks an attention span, has a vivid imagination, quick temper, a strong sense of injustice, and an inability to understand subtlety or nuance.”— Book RiotBarbara Park (1947–2013) is beloved by millions as the author of the wildly popular Junie B. Jones series. She is also the author of award-winning middle-grade novels and picture books, including Skinnybones and Mick Harte Was Here. We are thankful for the laughter she’s given us and to millions of children.Chapter 2: The Dumb Baby's Room

Mother and Daddy fixed up a room for the new baby. It's called a nursery. Except I don't know why. Because a baby isn't a nurse, of course.

The baby's room used to be the guest room. That's where all our guests used to sleep. Only we never had much guests.

And so now if we get some, they'll have to sleep on a table or something.

The baby's room has new stuff in it. That's because Mother and Daddy went shopping at the new baby stuff store.

They bought a new baby dresser with green and yellow knobs on it. And a new baby lamp with a giraffe on the lamp shade. And also, a new rocking chair for when the baby cries and you can't shut it up.

And there's a new baby crib, too.

A crib is a bed with bars on the side of it. It's kind of like a cage at the zoo. Except with a crib, you can put your hand through the bars. And the baby won't pull you in and kill you.

And guess what else is in the nursery? Wallpaper, that's what! The jungle kind. With pictures of elephants, and lions, and a big fat hippo-pot-of-something.

And there's monkeys, too! Which are my most favorite jungle guys in the whole world!

Mother and Daddy pasted on the wallpaper together.

Me and my dog Tickle were watching them.

"This wallpaper looks very cute in here," I told them. "I would like some of it in my room, too, I think. Okay?" I said. "Can I? Can I?"

"We'll see," said Daddy.

We'll see is another word for no.

"Yeah, only that's not fair," I said. "'Cause the baby gets all new junk and I have all old junk."

"Poor Junie B," said Mother very teasing.

Then she bended down and tried to hug me. Only she couldn't do it very good. Because of her big fat stomach -- which is where the stupid baby is.

"I don't think I'm going to like this dumb baby," I said.

Mother stopped hugging me.

"Don't say that, Junie B. Of course you will," she said.

"Of course I won't," I talked back. "Because it won't even let me hug you very good. And anyway, I don't even know its stupid dumb name."

Then Mother sat down in the new rocking chair. And she tried to put me on her lap. Only I wouldn't fit. So she just holded my hand.

"That's because Daddy and I haven't picked a name for the baby yet," she explained. "We want a name that's a little bit different. You know, something cute like Junie B. Jones. A name that people will remember."

And so I thought and thought very hard. And then I clapped my hands together real loud.

"Hey! I know one!" I said very excited. "It's the cafeteria lady at my school. And her name is Mrs. Gutzman!"

Mother frowned a little bit. And so maybe she didn't hear me, I think.

"MRS. GUTZMAN!" I hollered. "That's a cute name, don't you think? And I remembered it, too! Even after I only heard it one time, Mrs. Gutzman sticked right in my head!"

Mother took a big breath. "Yes, honey. But I'm not sure that Mrs. Gutzman is a good name for a tiny baby."

And so then I scrunched my face up. And I thought and thought all over again.

"How 'bout Teeny?" I said. "Teeny would be good."

Mother smiled. "Well, Teeny might be cute while the baby was little. But what would we call him when he grows up?"

"Big Teeny!" I called out very happy.

Then Mother said, "We'll see."

Which means no Big Teeny.

After that I didn't feel so happy anymore.

"When's this dumb bunny baby getting here anyway?" I said.

Mother frowned again. "The baby is not a dumb bunny, Junie B.," she said. "And it will be here very soon. So I think you'd better start getting used to the idea."

Then her and Daddy began pasting wallpaper again.

And so I opened the new baby dresser with the green and yellow knobs. And I looked at the new baby clothes.

The baby pajamas were very weensy. And the baby socks wouldn't even fit on my big piggie toe.

"I'm going to be the boss of this baby," I said to Tickle. "'Cause I'm the biggest, that's why."

Daddy snapped his fingers at me. "That's enough of that kind of talk, missy," he said.

Missy's my name when I'm in trouble.

After that, him and Mother went to the kitchen to get some more paste.

And so I looked down the hall to make sure he was gone.

"Yeah, only I'm still gonna be the boss of it," I whispered.

Ha ha. So there.