{"product_id":"how-can-i-forgive-you-the-courage-to-forgive-the-freedom-not-to-isbn-9780060009304","title":"How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“If you are struggling with issues of betrayal—or the challenge of whether and how to forgive—here is the most helpful and surprising book you will ever find on the subject.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of \u003cem\u003eThe Dance of Anger\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEveryone is struggling to forgive someone: an unfaithful partner, an alcoholic parent, an ungrateful child, a terrorist. This award-winning book provides a radical way for hurt parties to heal themselves—without forgiving, as well as a way for offenders to earn genuine forgiveness.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUntil now, we’ve been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a gifted clinical psychologist and award-winning author of \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003eAfter the Affair,\u003c\/em\u003e proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for earning genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeautifully written and filled with insight, practical advice, and poignant case studies, this bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhen is forgiveness cheap?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCan I heal myself – without forgiving?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow can the offender earn forgiveness?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat makes for a good apology?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cbr\u003e | \u003cp\u003eFrom bestselling author Janis Spring comes a long–awaited second book which tackles the sensitive issue of forgiveness with anecdotes and clinical case material. The topic of forgiveness is fast becoming one of the key concepts in psychotherapy. Until now, explains Spring, we have bought into the myth that forgiving is not only good for you but is the only morally sound response to violation. We believe that there are only two choices, to forgive or not, and that forgiveness is an unconditional gift that does not have to be earned by the offender. In \u003cem\u003eHow Can I Forgive You?\u003c\/em\u003e, Spring debunks these myths and offers a new way to think about this critical dynamic––illuminating a middle ground between total forgiveness and not forgiving, an approach that enables the hurt party to maintain self–respect and get on with their lives...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e After years of observing people first hand in her clinical practice and witnessing their struggle to forgive and be forgiven, Spring has developed a model to help real people heal from real interpersonal injuries. She provides concrete, detailed, step–by stop instructions for both the hurt party and the offender. Spring explains that there are many options. You can refuse to forgive, which is empowering but leaves you stewing. You can offer cheap forgiveness, which happens when you ignore your pain and will do anything to preserve the relationship. Or you can take the healthier paths of acceptance and genuine forgiveness. In Acceptance, you cut your own path and walk alone. In Genuine Forgiveness, the offender clears a path and walks beside you.The clinical examples run from the petty to the serious to the profane – from a friend who forgets your birthday to a brother who refuses to help you take care of an elderly parent to a deliberate act of sexual abuse. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e We are all struggling to forgive someone, and hate feeling ruptured in our significant relationships and fractured within ourselves. We are all searching for some new position that frees us from the corrosive effects of hate, gives voice to the injustice, and helps us to make peace with the person who hurt us and with ourselves. This book delivers some real answers to this critical interpersonal dilemma. \u003c\/p\u003e | \u003cp\u003e“This book is a treasure—practical, authentic, illuminating, and wise. It’s like a breath of fresh air that puts forgiveness in a new and revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eJoan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind and Inner Peace for Busy People\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Clear, insightful . . . a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003ePublishers Weekly\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Spring really shines. . . . Armed with her insights, offenders and those they’ve offended have hope of recovery.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eBellingham Herald\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“A fresh and original approach to an ancient challenge. A clinically informed personal guide for the offender and the offended. \u003cem\u003eHow Can I Forgive You?\u003c\/em\u003e should be read by us all.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eHarville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“If you are struggling with issues of betrayal—or the challenge of whether and how to forgive—here is the most helpful and surprising book you will ever find on the subject.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eHarriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“Finally a book has been written that teaches couples how to make genuine forgiveness a reality without rushing toward a superficial peace. This book can help couples construct a marriage that never existed before, one based on deep understanding and trust.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eJohn Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Relationship Cure\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e“This book is a treasure trove for anyone who has ever felt betrayed or hurt in a personal relationship. Dr. Spring cuts through all the clichés surrounding forgiveness and views it within a broad spectrum of common relationships—mother-daughter, father-son, student-teacher, husband-wife. We owe her a debt of gratitude for this enlightened and penetrating view of a universal human dilemma.” - \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003ePeggy Papp, author of Couples on the Fault Line: New Directions for Therapists\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HarperCollins","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44889720652005,"sku":"NP9780060009304","price":24.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1842\/7735\/files\/9780060009304.jpg?v=1730231816","url":"https:\/\/k12savings.com\/es\/products\/how-can-i-forgive-you-the-courage-to-forgive-the-freedom-not-to-isbn-9780060009304","provider":"K12savings","version":"1.0","type":"link"}