Happily Ever After the Murders: A Novel

The Golden Girls meets Bonnie and Clyde and Thelma and Louise in this thrilling novel about two elderly women who go on the run to cover up a double murder they committed four decades ago.

Ida and Jean got away with murder. Settling into their golden years in late ’90s Rockaway, New York, Ida and Jean’s biggest problems are HOA squabbles, grown kids who don’t visit enough, and staying in the closet as a lesbian couple for fear of being ostracized. But when the electrical lines in their backyard need replacing, the women know that digging up the ground will unearth their long-held secret: the bodies of their late husbands buried under the rosebushes.

After their attempts to keep the electrical company from digging take a deadly turn, the lovers go on the run, launched into a cross-country adventure—with their cat, Frankie, in tow. To escape the law, they’ll need to outwit quirky midwestern locals, mend frayed relationships with their adult children, and shake off the detective that’s hot on their trail. But if Ida and Jean can pull it off, they’ll find their freedom in the place that has always represented their best shot at coming out and finally living their authentic lives together: San Francisco, California.