Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story

The National Book Award winning memoir with a new foreword by Kathryn Harrison, author of The Kiss.

“Fiercely committed to bequeathing a map of his psychic terrain, to spare others the pain of his solitary journey, [Monette’s] fine memoir is affirmative and ultimately celebratory.” — New York Times Book Review

A child of the 1950s from a small New England town, “perfect Paul” earns straight A’s and scholarships and shines in social and literary pursuits, all the while keeping a secret—from himself and the rest of the world. Struggling to be or at least to imitate a straight man, through Ivy League halls of privilege and bohemian travels abroad, loveless intimacy, and unrequited passion, Paul Monette was haunted, and finally saved, by a dream—“The thing I’d never even seen: two men in love and laughing.” This searingly honest, witty, and humane merging of memoir and manifesto has become the definitive coming out story—and a classic of the coming-of-age genre. It was awarded the 1992 National Book Award for nonfiction.

A child of the 1950s from a small New England town, "perfect Paul" earns straight A's and shines in social and literary pursuits, all the while keeping a secret—from himself and the rest of the world. Struggling to be, or at least to imitate, a straight man, through Ivy League halls of privilege and bohemian travels abroad, loveless intimacy and unrequited passion, Paul Monette was haunted, and finally saved, by a dream of "the thing I'd never even seen: two men in love and laughing."

Searingly honest, witty, and humane, Becoming a Man is the definitive coming-out story in the classic coming-of-age genre.

“Everyone can learn something about courage and self-discovery from Becoming a Man.” - San Francisco Chronicle

“Fiercely committed to bequeathing a map of his psychic terrain, to spare others the pain of his solitary journey, [Monette’s] fine memoir is affirmative and ultimately celebratory.” - New York Times Book Review

“Monette’s interior life, his ghosts, his turmoil, his final peace -- in Becoming a Man, they have become our literature.” - --David Ebershoff, author of Pasadena and The Danish Girl

“Beautifully written…a heartfelt illumination of how a gay person overcame the self-reproach that societal condemnation enacts.” - Publishers Weekly

“A poignant, bittersweet memoir….Each stage of [Monette’s] personal journey is described at an intimate, insightful, human level.” - Library Journal

“Remarkable…unsparingly observed and beautifully written….The power of this riveting book is in part the application of Monette’s acute intelligence, his ceaseless observation and his cagey wit to a simple, impossible problem. American culture demanded of Paul—as it still demands of lesbian and gay youth—that he be the one thing he could not be: straight….Thrilling and painful for those of us who know firsthand what he is talking about. For those who have been unaware, this is a necessary book.” - Los Angeles Times Book Review