The Trauma of Money

A handbook to disempower the trauma standing between individuals and their financial wellbeing

The Trauma of Money: Mapping Compassionate Pathways to Healing Financial Trauma and Disempowering Financial Shame offers a comprehensive exploration of the Trauma of Money Method™, an innovative six-phase approach to decrease shame and increase discernment around money. It spotlights the myriad causes of financial trauma, tracing its roots to their generational, relational, societal, and systemic origins, and guides readers in understanding how trauma directly impacts our financial behaviors. Changing the narratives that come with these traumas is the first step in recognizing that true financial literacy hinges on this foundational healing. This book includes research-based modalities to transform readers' approaches to finances, including somatic trauma healing, narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, internal family systems, addiction recovery therapies, biomimicry, systems change and financial psychology. It also includes practical tools such as:

• Reflection questions and prompts to intentionally evolve our relationship with money and scarcity as well as tools for addressing financial shame
• Methods to identify and shift away from trauma responses like financial fawning, somatic exercises to regulate the nervous system, and ways to reprogram our subconscious
• Approaches to reclaim and deepen the commitment to our money values and integration activities that can be used with clients

The Trauma of Money: Mapping Compassionate Pathways to Healing Financial Trauma and Disempowering Financial Shame is an illuminating, effective resource for financial advisors and planners, mental health professionals, entrepreneurs, or anyone seeking to move out of automatic trauma responses and into their financial power.

Introduction ix

Chapter 1: “Bad” with Money or Traumatized? Looking at Our Behaviors Through New Lenses 1

Chapter 2: Shame on Who? Identifying and Disrupting Financial Shame Cycles 13

Chapter 3: Financial Trauma Versus Trauma of Money: Its Nuances and Interconnected Qualities 31

Chapter 4: What We Know About Trauma: From the Therapist’s Couch to Mainstream Culture 41

Chapter 5: Your Brain Has Your Back: How the Nervous System Tracks and Tames Trauma 53

Chapter 6: Attached to Money: Realities of Attachment Trauma and Its Impact on Financial Relationships 69

Chapter 7: Money Parts: Embracing the Whole Self 75

Chapter 8: The Problem Is Out There, Not in Here: Disrupting Money “Disorders” and Reclaiming Our Agency 85

Chapter 9: Money Avoidance Defenses: What Ignoring Our Finances at All Costs Costs Us 97

Chapter 10: Money- Soothing Defenses: Escaping to Our Reward Center to Find Financial Relief 115

Chapter 11: Financial Fawning Defense: Approval Seeking and Over-Accommodating at Our Own Expense 131Chapter 12: Relational Money Disruptions: When Financial Secrets, Miscommunications, and Power Imbalances Shape Our Most Intimate Connections 147

Chapter 13: Embracing Collective Healing: The Integral Role of Addressing Collective Trauma in Overcoming Money Trauma 161

Chapter 14: Reimagining Gapitalism: Part 1: Traumatized and Dominated by Our Dominant Economic Culture 175

Chapter 15: Reimagining Gapitalism: Part 2: Creative, Collective Alternatives to Profit- Over- Everything Problems 187

Chapter 16: Scarcity’s Grip: Exploring How Scarcity Mimics Trauma in Shaping Financial Mindsets 197

Chapter 17: Beyond the Clock: Understanding the Interplay Among Trauma, Time Perception, and Money 213

Chapter 18: Dopamine-Driven Consumerism: Escaping Emotions Through Consumption 223

Chapter 19: The Trauma of Money Method: Step 1: A Generative Assessment of Mind, Body, and Money 239

Chapter 20: The Trauma of Money Method: Steps 2–6: From Visioning, Inventorying, and Harmonizing to Action and Refinement 249

Conclusion: Embracing Financial Agency Through Seasons of Healing and Change 263

Notes 269

Acknowledgments 287

About the Author 289

Index 291

CHANTEL CHAPMAN is the CEO and Founder of The Trauma of Money Institute, a financial literacy and psychoeducation program certifying professionals in trauma-sensitive approaches to finance and scarcity. She has over twenty years’ experience in the fields of traditional finance, fintech, and financial recovery and psychoeducation. She’s also a member of the National Task Force for Economic Justice.

In The Trauma of Money: Mapping Compassionate Pathways to Healing Financial Trauma and Disempowering Financial Shame, veteran financial psychoeducation professional, Chantel Chapman, delivers a comprehensive exploration of the Trauma of Money Method, an innovative six-phase approach to decreasing shame and increasing discernment around money. The author highlights the many causes of financial trauma, tracing their roots to generational, relational, societal, and systemic origins.

The book offers readers an intuitive path to improved understanding of how trauma directly impacts how we earn, spend, save, and invest our money. You’ll learn how to change your money narrative by addressing— head-on—the traumas that have influenced how you relate to money. You’ll also discover powerful, research-based modalities that will transform your approach to finance, including somatic trauma healing, narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, internal family systems, addiction recovery therapies, biomimicry, systems change, and financial psychology.

The Trauma of Money introduces how to heal and repair your foundational ideas about, and attitudes toward, money. It contains practical, hands-on tools—like reflection questions that will intentionally evolve your relationships to money and scarcity and reduce financial shame—and effective methods to mitigate trauma responses, like financial fawning.

Filled with accessible approaches to reclaiming and deepening healthy commitments to your money values, integration activities, somatic exercises to regulate nervous system responses to financial stressors, and subconscious reprogramming tools, The Trauma of Money is an invaluable resource for people struggling to improve their relationship with money. It’s also a must-read for financial advisors and planners, mental health professionals, and entrepreneurs.

Praise for The TRAUMA of MONEY

“The Trauma of Money is the book we all need! Whether you’re a consumer, a provider, or both, the insights in these pages will help free you from the treadmill you didn’t realize you were stuck on. Too often, we internalize the failures of capitalism and ask ourselves, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ This book offers a powerful, compassionate answer, while breaking down how, where, and why money can be so traumatic. We’ll all be better off mentally, emotionally, and financially for reading this gem.”
—AJA EVANS, Financial Therapist, president-elect of the Financial Therapy Association, and author of Feel-Good Finance

“The Trauma of Money is a compassionate, unflinching exploration of how our financial struggles are often rooted in unprocessed trauma rather than personal failure. Chantel bridges the gap between individual healing and systemic awareness in a way that’s rare and urgently needed. I believe every person and practitioner should have this trauma-informed, financially wise, and deeply humanizing book on their shelf.”
—SILVY KHOUCASIAN, Relationship Coach

“Our parents are our first teachers of money. I am among the lucky. My mother said ‘Spend money, but don’t waste it.’ My father opened a savings account for me and doubled any money I deposited. Others are unlucky, suffering the trauma of money. A friend witnessed his parents’ marriage dissolve over money. His father was a spender, his mother was a saver. You can overcome your trauma of money, and Chantel Chapman’s wonderful book The Trauma of Money, will show you the way.”
—MEIR STATMAN, Glenn Klimek Professor of Finance, and author of A Wealth of Well-Being: A Holistic Approach to Behavioral Finance

“The Trauma of Money challenges the myth that financial struggles are personal failings. Chantel Chapman, with insights from leading experts, offers a powerful path to healing and reclaiming financial agency.”
—FARNOOSH TORABI, Host of So Money and author of A Healthy State of Panic

“After decades working in the financial sector, on Wall Street, in philanthropy, and as an investor; I’ve seen that no amount of wealth or experience shields us from the emotional barriers we face around money. The Trauma of Money names what so many feel but can’t articulate and offers a path toward greater financial health and agency.”
—JACKI ZEHNER, Founder at SheMoney, Investor, Philanthropist, and Former Partner at Goldman Sachs