Finally Secure

Move from anxious relationship patterns to secure behaviors with effective research-based attachment theory tools and methods.

Attachment theory explains the different ways people reach out to each other for connection and how they get tripped up. Secure and insecure attachment styles occur on a spectrum, born from the early messages a child receives from their caregivers, both explicitly and implicitly. When anxious attachment develops, it often creates a need for reassurance from others rather than from within.

Whether dating, in a long-term relationship, or recovering from yet another painful breakup, those with an anxious attachment style can learn the skills to find validation and meet their own emotional needs without needing to pursue their partner for comfort and compromising or losing their sense of self. Written by Maria Vogel, a family and marriage therapist who once struggled with push-pull relationships, Finally Secure is a practical guide that offers a clear, supportive path for anyone who identifies with an anxious attachment style and wants to feel secure in love.

Inside, readers will find everything they need to start building the emotional security they’ve always craved:

• Tangible skills and real-life exercises to shift from reactive to intentional responses in love and conflict with the goal of building self-trust and a sense of stability
• Step-by-step strategies for navigating dating, long-term relationships, and breakups to cut toxic push-pull cycles
• A trauma-informed approach that helps you understand why they feel what they feel—and what to do about it
• A self-paced journey to becoming truly securely attached, grounded, and resilient in love

“Finally Secure is an awesome resource for the anxiously attached person navigating romantic relationships. Maria Vogel has managed to take complex information and present it to the reader in a focused and direct manner that makes it easy to digest. Each tool kit chapter provides sound strategies and makes them simple to take in and use immediately. Anyone struggling to figure out what and how to do all the stages of relationships with anxious attachment can benefit. I’m looking forward to using this text with my clients!” —Kim Simmonds, licensed marriage and family therapist

“Imagine if your wise, no-nonsense best friend wrote a book with your therapist—Finally Secure makes attachment theory accessible through relatable examples and everyday language. The tools are broken down into actionable steps with clear explanations of why they work. I’m excited to share this book with clients as a trusty guide to help them build healthier relationships outside of therapy.”
—Ashley McQuown, licensed mental health counselor and substance use disorder professional

"As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I'm always looking for resources for clients. Finally Secure is concise, practical, and easy to read. The tools are explained in depth, and the practical applications make them simple to apply conceptually to everyday relationship experiences. I'd recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their relational skills and even to mental health workers looking for resources, worksheets, and templates to use with clients!"
—Dr. Beth Doddato, psychiatric mental health nurse practitionerMaria Vogel, LMFT, has nine years of clinical practice experience. As a Gottman-trained couples therapist, Maria specializes in working with couples and individuals with relational trauma. With 15 years of mindfulness and meditation experience, Maria teaches clients concrete skills to handle hard moments. Her practice consists of many LGBTQ+ clients, neurodivergent folks, and people struggling with chronic illness.