Creating Your Perfect Family Size

Answers to one of the most important decision a family can make

This groundbreaking book offers answers to crucial questions that have a large impact on family success and well-being. The author has been researching and treating couples for more than twenty years, addressing such critical issues as: When should you have kids? How many and why? Can you afford a family? What's the best interval between children's birth in a family? How does your work life influence how many kids to have? What's the impact of divorce, remarriage and blended families on the decision to have more kids? How does your family of origin, ethnicity, race, culture, and sexual preference influence the choices you have regarding these questions of number and spacing of childbirths.

• Filled with common sense advice for the dilemmas most couples grapple with when starting a family
• Based on solid research from a noted family therapist
• Alan Singer has appeared on the Fox Morning News and MSNBC as well as being quoted in USA Today and The Huffington Post

Invaluable and fascinating, the book includes a wealth of self-tests that helps individuals to customize their own decision making based on their unique background and current situation.

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

1 Why Do You Want to Have Children? 5

2 When Is the Best Time for You to Have Children? 23

3 How Many Children Can Your Relationship Hold? 51

4 Small, Moderate, Large What’s Your Ideal Family Size? 69

5 How Do Old (and New) Family Traditions Affect Your Family Size? 97

Epilogue 129

Self-Tests: Family Size Choice 131

Notes 143

Selected Resources 153

Bibliography 159

About the Author 169

Index 171

As a licensed family therapist and eighth child in his family, Singer has the experience to guide couples in choosing whether and how many children to have. The essence of the book is a series of comprehensive self-assessment quizzes dealing with physical and mental health, financial situations, family background, and so forth. He guides couples in considering their ideal family size, the spacing of children, and the best time to have children, if at all. Singer skillfully fills a void in the literature on this topic without judgment, and would be of assistance to any individual or couple considering having children. (Library Journal, July 2011)

Alan Singer, PhD, is a researcher and family therapist who's made it his life's work to study, treat, and advise couples who want to figure out how many children to have and when to have them.

Praise for Creating Your Perfect Family Size

"Nothing gives your life more meaning than babies, and nothing absorbs that life more fully. Alan's father used to say, 'When all else fails, read the directions.' These ARE the directions."
—Frank Pittman, MD; author, GROW UP!

"With great wisdom, insight, and compassion, Alan Singer has written a book that will be of great use to any parent or prospective parent."
—Stephen J. Dubner, author, Freakonomics and SuperFreakonomics

"This thoughtful book will give potential, new, and veteran parents alike the advice and encouragement to reflect on the lifelong commitment of bringing children into the world."
—Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, PhD; author, The Divorce Culture

"Why hasn't someone written this book before? The writing is engaging, the research up-to-date, and the wisdom reassuring. Read this book and give it to others."
—William J. Doherty, PhD; professor, University of Minnesota; author, Take Back Your Marriage

"When it comes to deciding about bringing children into the world,Creating Your Perfect Family Size helps you sort out the facts and identify your real feelings to make the best possible decision for all."
—Michele Weiner-Davis, author, Divorce Busting

"Alan Singer provides the kind of insightful, comforting, and extremely useful advice that you would expect from an old-time family doctor."
—Scott Haltzman, MD; author, The Secrets of Happily Married Men