Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk

Learn to start open, productive talks about money with your parents as they age

As your parents age, you may find that you want or need to broach the often-difficult subject of finances. In Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances, you’ll learn the best ways to approach this issue, along with a wealth of financial and legal information that will help you help your parents into and through their golden years.

Sometimes parents are reluctant to address money matters with their adult children, and topics such as long-term care, retirement savings (or lack thereof), and end-of-life planning can be particularly touchy. In this book, you’ll hear from others in your position who have successfully had “the talk” with their parents, and you’ll read about a variety of conversation strategies that can make talking finances more comfortable and more productive.

• Learn conversation starters and strategies to open the lines of communication about your parents’ finances
• Discover the essential financial and legal information you should gather from your parents to be prepared for the future
• Gain insight from others’ stories of successfully talking money with aging parents

• Gather the courage, hope, and motivation you need to broach difficult subjects such as care facilities and end-of-life plans

For children of Baby Boomers and others looking to assist aging parents with their finances, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk is a welcome and comforting read. Although talking money with your parents can be hard, you aren’t alone, and this book will guide you through the process of having fruitful financial conversations that lead to meaningful action.

Introduction: Why the Money Talk Is Essential ix

Chapter 1 Get Over Your Fear of Having “The Talk” 1

Chapter 2 Don’t Wait 13

Chapter 3 Reasons Your Parents Might Be Reluctant to Talk 23

Chapter 4 What Happens If You Don’t Have the Conversation 33

Chapter 5 Start by Talking to Your Siblings 41

Chapter 6 What Not to Say 51

Chapter 7 Conversation Starters 59

Chapter 8 A Step-by-Step Approach to a Successful Conversation 73

Chapter 9 What You Need to Know 83

Chapter 10 Talking to Your Parents About Estate Planning Documents 97

Chapter 11 Talking to Your Parents About Scammers 113

Chapter 12 Talking to Your Parents About Long-Term Care 133

Chapter 13 Talking to Your Parents About When It’s Time to Move 157

Chapter 14 If at First You Don’t Succeed . . . 173

Chapter 15 Getting Through to Reluctant Parents: Success Stories 181

Chapter 16 What to Do If Your Parents Won’t Talk 191

Chapter 17 Pay It Forward: Start Talking to Your Kids 201

A Final Note 215

Additional Resources 217

About the Author 225

Acknowledgments 227

Index 229

CAMERON HUDDLESTON is an award-winning journalist with more than 17 years of experience writing about personal finance. Her work has appeared in Kiplinger's Personal Finance, Business Insider, Chicago Tribune, Fortune, Huffington Post, Money, MSN, USA Today, and many more print and online publications. She is currently the Life + Money columnist for GOBankingRates.

As our parents age, it can be a challenge to talk with them about financial matters—but these conversations need to happen sooner rather than later. Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk offers a practical guide for helping adult children have those difficult discussions.

The author, a noted financial expert, offers a step-by-step approach for the family financial talk that will help adult children plan with their parents for issues they will face as they age.

Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk offers ideas for overcoming your fears about bringing up this tough topic and is filled with several ways to start the conversation. The book provides illustrative stories from people who've had successful money talks with their parents. In addition, the author includes much-needed advice from financial, legal, and eldercare experts who've helped thousands of clients navigate "the talk."

Designed for people at all income levels—wealthy, middle, and lower—the book helps anyone understand the ins and outs of their parents' finances because they might have to help manage these finances one day. If your parents are unwilling to open up about their finances, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk

includes ideas from others who have been in this situation as well as tips from experts on how to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.

Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk includes tips for talking with your siblings about your parents' finances. The book contains suggestions for tackling conversations with your parents about estate planning documents, long-term care, and when it's time to move. And it offers advice on how to help your parents avoid scammers. The author also offers approaches for having conversations about your own finances with your children.

Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk is the essential guide for having productive financial conversations with parents that lead to meaningful action.

Praise for

MOM AND DAD, WE NEED TO TALK

"This book is a must-read for adult children of aging parents. Talking to your parents about their financial matters isn't easy territory—you need to know what to say, and as importantly what not to say. Huddleston helps you navigate the terrain, providing guidance on what to talk about and how, in a way that will give both you and your parents peace of mind." NANCY A. LEAMOND, executive vice president of AARP

"Don't wait for an emergency to strike to talk to your parents about their finances. You need to have these conversations now, and this book will help. Cameron Huddleston takes you by the hand and walks you through the process step by step." FARNOOSH TORABI, host of the award-winning So Money podcast

"Cameron Huddleston brings a seasoned journalist's eye and a loving daughter's heart to the complex issue of how to broach the all-too-often-taboo topic of money with aging parents. Drawing from her own experiences with her mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis, Huddleston offers practical advice on getting these delicate conversations started and provides guidance to navigating everything from estate planning documents to long-term care. Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk is an essential read for every family struggling to come to grips with the financial, legal and emotional realities of getting old in America today." MICHAEL DESENNE, executive editor of Kiplinger.com

"The clock is ticking and the conversation has to happen. But how? Cameron Huddleston provides the templates and even the script to have the talk no one wants to have. Her detailed research will bring out the financial grownup in all of us to secure our parents' financial security, and in many cases our own as well." BOBBI REBELL, CFP^®, author of How to be a Financial Grownup and host of the Financial Grownup podcast