Writing on the Wall

This is the business book we have been waiting for. Whilst we watch in horror as the consultants, the gurus and the management experts interfere with our jobs and lives with no apparent benefit, along comes this latest book from Geoff Burch that confirms that all our fears were true.This waspish, funny and often downright vicious expose of everything from marketing to HRM and even change management leaves no stone unturned and no taboo untrampled.But this is no mere hatchet job. Writing on the Wall exposes the stupidity of fashionable management fads, but by stripping the subject to the bone, the true secrets are uncovered. By facing the stark truth of poor products, difficult customers and mutinous staff, Burch is able to show, with bizarre examples such as the child with the squashed head, and hard hitting advice such as "smile or sling your hook", just how we can make success inevitable.Eine tiefgreifende Analyse, warum Unternehmen scheitern, und wie dies verhindert werden kann.

"Writing on the Wall" vermittelt eine ernst zu nehmende und zeitlos gültige Botschaft: Unternehmen müssen sich auf ihre Wurzeln besinnen und Kunden und Mitarbeiter an die oberste Stelle setzen. Anderenfalls laufen sie Gefahr, alles zu verlieren.

Bestsellerautor Geoffrey Burch ist ein international renommierter Experte und Redner in Sachen Management und Leadership. Er prangert alle Missstände - vom Marketing über Kundenservice bis in den Personal- und Finanzbereich - schonungslos an und liefert die Problemlösungen gleich mit.

Hier räumt er auf mit der Flut vielversprechender Führungstricks und hochtrabender Ideen, die sich in der Praxis als leere Versprechungen erwiesen haben. Statt dessen fordert er eine Rückbesinnung auf gesunden Menschenverstand.

Eine informative und unterhaltsam-amüsante Lektüre von großem praktischen Nutzen.

Introduction 1

1 Arming the Peasants – A Very Risky Business Indeed 3

2 The Process 21

3 Customer Care … That Offer’s Finished! 47

4 The Global Market 95

5 Everyone Can Sell – Everyone Should Sell 117

6 The Power of Persuasion 147

7 Next 173

Index 197

"...this book pulls no punches. Thought provoking, insightful and downright funny in parts, its a must read for business people at any stage of their career..." (Gloucestershire Echo, 16 June 2002)

...waspish, funny, and often downright vicious, expose of everything from marketing to process re-engineering..." (Manager, July/August 2002)

"…it just takes a clever book like this to present them so clearly…" (City To Cities, October/November 2002)

"…Takes us on an insightful journey through a scary business world…" (Business Executive, 1 October 2003)

GEOFF BURCH is the enfant terrible of business. His speeches around the world never fail to provoke weak-minded management and inspire change leaders. He is the author of the best-selling Resistance is Useless and Go it Alone. His clients include some of the world's major blue chip companies. Whilst we watch in horror as the consultants, the gurus and the management experts interfere with our jobs and lives with no apparent benefit, along comes this latest book from Geoff Burch that confirms that all our fears were true. Most leaders at the top are living in la la land. Well it's time to come down. It's time to put some commonsense back into business.

Geoff Burch is the Alternative Business Guru. In Writing on the Wall he takes us on a hilarious but insightful journey - and it's not on his trusted motorbike. He takes us through a scary business world viewed through his not-so-rose coloured spectacles. Geoff tells us like it is. And it isn't pretty.

But there is hope ....

Chapter by chapter, Geoff Burch regales us with stories, anecdotes and lessons every leader can learn on how to bring commonsense back into business. This waspish, funny and often downright vicious expose of everything from sales and customer awareness to change management, leaves no stone unturned and no taboo untrampled. From arming the peasants to sacking your Dilberts and from focusing on the customer 'til it hurts, to getting everyone involved in selling exploding oranges, Burch's iconoclastic approach to business has turned him into one of the most sought-after speakers in Europe.

Geof is mad. He is bitter. He is twisted. He is hilarious. But his compelling messages are irresistible. Geoff Burch on...

Marketing
"people who offer marketing, often have names like Jervaise or Tarquin, and they gambol and caper around their west London offices with sheer excitement at the prospect of 'marketing' your (product)...I used to have mobs of pitchfork and blazing brand-wielding marketing people beating a path to my castle gates by suggesting that the whole marketing thing basically sucks, but that may not be true. After all, you can even get a degree in it, by jiminee."

Consultants
"Hiring consultants is just like hiring mercenaries...amuse yourself by drawing the analogy between the two...When you choose your mercenary/consultant, you don't want the hair trigger 24 year old MBA. You want the Yul Brynner, man in black, with a few scars, a piece of ear missing, well used guns, a black hat, and eyes like steel bearings. Be warned, you only control him while you pay him."

Human Resources
"If you recall the early black and white Frankenstein movies, Professor Frankenstein was always portrayed as tall, aquiline, darkly handsome, and of course barking mad, but he was always accompanied by this poor, twisted hobbling mad thing...Now every chief executive has one of these, and he's called the Human Resources Director. It is his job, amongst other things, to judge people's (sorry, 'the resources') performance against goals, targets, and objectives...He then has to report to El Supremo on this performance. The trick is that this performance must be expressed as a number and not one that relates to anything from the real world."