Say More About That

Concrete strategies to call out wrongdoing at home, at work, at school, and elsewhere

In Say More About That, veteran inclusion strategist, coach, writer, and speaker Amber Cabral delivers an incisive and practical guide to assertively addressing inequitable treatment you see at home, work, school, and other settings. The book offers a complete communications toolkit for equity advocacy you can deploy on your own behalf and on behalf of others.

You’ll get the tactics, context, and tools that make being brave and speaking up a lot easier. You’ll also find:

• A thorough discussion of the fundamentals of inclusion and equity, including concepts of advocacy and allyship, privilege, and identity
• An examination of the social landscape that makes speaking up so daunting
• Explorations of the most effective language and tactics you can use when you make a stand for yourself or others

The perfect resource for underrepresented professionals, allies, advocates, and people seeking to make a positive difference in the world, Say More About That is the assertiveness manual you need if you’ve been meaning to speak up but are worried about being drowned out.

Foreword by Amanda Miller Littlejohn xv

Acknowledgments xxi

Introduction xxiii

Part I Getting Grounded in the Fundamentals 1

1 Identity 3

2 Inclusion 7

3 Bias 15

4 Feedback 19

5 Privilege 25

6 Allyship and Advocacy 31

7 Equity 33

Part II Understanding the Landscape 37

8 Overcoming the Most Common Obstacles 39

9 Why Is Pushing Back So Hard? 57

10 Critical Communication Tools 65

11 Performative Allyship and Advocacy 81

12 Pushing Back and Speaking Up – A Pep Talk 91

Part III Language and Tactics 99

13 A Short Lesson on Boundaries and Staying Focused on the Goal 101

14 Avoid People- Pleasing and Resentment 107

15 Dealing with Professional Gaslighting 111

16 Saying No While Still Protecting Your Reputation 113

17 Intimidation: But What If They Know More Than I Do? 119

18 Power Imbalance: What If I Am Not the One with the Power? 123

19 Microaggressions: What If I Am Encountering a Microaggression? 127

20 Disrespected: What If Someone Is Blatantly Mistreating Me or Crossing a Line? 135

21 Underrepresented: What If I Am the Only One? 139

22 Dismissed: What If I Am Not Feeling Heard? 143

23 Medical Advocacy: When Feeling Intimidated, Dismissed, and Powerless Combine 147

24 Interrupted: What If I Keep Getting Talked Over? 155

25 Framework: How to Speak Up and Advocate for Yourself and Others 161

26 It’s a Conversation, Not a Confrontation 169

27 Keeping the Temperature Down in Tough Discussions 175

28 Any Questions? 183

29 Be Good to Yourself 191

About the Author 193

Index 195

AMBER CABRAL is an inclusion strategist, certified coach, writer, and speaker who has been featured on television and in print and digital media. Formerly a Diversity Strategist at Walmart Stores, Inc., she is founder of Cabral Co., a diversity, equity, and inclusive leadership-focused consulting firm. She hosts the You Can Have Whatever You Want ® podcast and regularly speaks and writes about inclusion, culture, equity, and social justice topics.

An incisive and stand-alone follow-up to the author’s celebrated Allies and Advocates, Say More About That… is a tactical roadmap to tackling inequitable treatment whenever and wherever it rears its ugly head. You’ll learn to find confidence when it counts, pushing back against passive-aggressive language, shrinking, and ghosting to help yourself, your friends, and colleagues through difficult situations.

Veteran inclusion strategist and expert Amber Cabral draws on years of diversity, equity, and inclusion experience to deliver a set of tactics, tools, and context that empowers readers to call out wrongdoing at home, at work, and in public settings. You’ll find sample scripts and communications templates to make brave interventions seem a lot less daunting

After a thorough grounding in the fundamentals of inclusion and equity—including explanations of bias, feedback, allyship and advocacy, privilege, and identity—you’ll discover why speaking up when someone is being mistreated is so difficult and the strategies you can use to make it much easier. You’ll also learn how to identify performative allyship and advocacy in companies that aren’t serious about inclusion and diversity (but like to pretend to be).

Whether it’s learning to say no, successfully navigating professional gaslighting, demanding and showing respect, or teaching others how you expect to be treated, Say More About That… offers the language and tactics you need to stand up for yourself and others. It’s perfect for professionals navigating evolving diversity discussions at work, underrepresented identities, recent graduates, early-career individuals, and anyone hoping to increase their confidence when advocating for themselves or when serving as an ally or advocate for others. It’s also an essential read for diversity, equity, and inclusion leaders seeking new strategies for empowerment and equity.

PRAISE FOR Say More About That…

“With this book, Amber Cabral delivers another timely gem. She is a gifted communicator—bringing concepts and techniques that are relatable and actionable. Now you can have her as a coach and advisor, too.”
—MARK BREITBARD, President and CEO, Global Gap Brand

“There is no one more qualified than Amber Cabral to teach on speaking up for yourself. I remember seeing Amber speaking at an inclusion summit for the first time. I was stunned. After working in corporate America for over a decade before starting my own company, I’d seen a lot, but her approach was refreshing, honest, and genuine. The room was mesmerized. Top executives were there taking notes! Presidents of Fortune 500 companies have shared the difference Amber has made in their lives and their business culture. This book, Say More About That… is a must-read.”
—BRANDICE N. DANIEL, CEO and Founder, Harlem’s Fashion Row

“Amber Cabral’s book Say More About That… will do for you what meeting Amber and learning from her has done for me: help you understand the importance of having a voice and influencing change through inclusive and equitable behaviors. Her real-life examples and pragmatic approach to such a challenging topic will leave you with practical skills to be courageous and speak up on topics that matter.”
—BRANDY SISLOW, CHRO, Kendra Scott

“As a leading voice in the inclusion space, Amber continues to push the envelope to ensure that her books truly help people to realize their authentic selves. Her writing forces the reader to not only take a look at themselves, but also deep within themselves. Amber never talks over you and instead speaks directly to you while also sharing her own journey to enlightenment. Speakingup is truly a skill that can be learned, and this book will help the reader to understand what that skill looks like so they can take meaningful action for themselves and others.”
—REGINALD J. MILLER, VP, Global Chief Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Officer, McDonald’s