I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla

This superb, rational, and highly readable volume answers a deeplyfelt need. Parents and educators alike have long struggled tounderstand what meanings race might have for the very young, andfor ways to insure that every child grows up with a healthy senseof self. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummateclarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensableguide that will doubtless prove a classic.
--Edward Zigler, sterling professor of psychology and director,Yale Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy

A child's concept of race is quite different from that of an adult.Young children perceive skin color as magical--even changeable--andunlike adults, are incapable of understanding adult predjudicessurrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk andtalk, they likewise come to understand race in a series ofpredictable stages.

Based on Marguerite A. Wright's research and clinical experience,I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindnessof early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order toguide the positive development of a child's self-esteem.

Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and raceincluding:
* What do children know and understand about the color of theirskin?
* When do children understand the concept of race?
* Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affectedby racial prejudice?
* How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negativeperceptions and prejudices?
* What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome theracism they are likely to encounter?
* How can schools lessen the impact of racism?
With wisdom and compassion, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla spellsout how to educate black and biracial children about race, whilepreserving their innate resilience and optimism--the birthright ofall children.

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

Part One: That Magical Place: Race Awareness in the Preschool Years 11

1 Chocolate and Vanilla: How Preschoolers See Color and Race 13

2 How Preschoolers Begin to Learn Racial Attitudes 36

3 When to Be Concerned That Race Is a Problem for Preschoolers 59

4 Raising the Racially Healthy Preschooler 73

Part Two: The Waning of Racial Innocence: The Early School Years 91

5 Shades of Brown and Black: How Early Grade-Schoolers See Color and Race 93

6 Black Children’s Self-Esteem: The Real Deal 123

7 How School Influences Children’s Awareness of Color and Race 147

Part Three: Reality Bites: Race Awareness in Middle Childhood and Adolescence 173

8 Fading to Black and White: How Children in the Middle Years See Race 175

9 How School Influences Older Children’s Ideas About Race 197

10 Preparing for Adolescence: The Lines Are Drawn 218

11 A Healthy High School Experience: You Can Make a Difference 239

Epilogue 261

Appendix: Stages of Race Awareness 265

Notes 269

About the Author 281

Index 283

"This book is useful for all parents who want their children togrow up with healthy attitudes in a world that uses race toseparate human beings. . . . A worthwhile read."

"This superb, rational, and highly readable volume answers a deeplyfelt need. Parents and educators alike have long struggled tounderstand what meanings race might have for the very young, andfor ways to ensure that every child grows up with a healthy senseof self. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummateclarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensableguide that will doubtless prove a classic." (Edward Zigler, Ph.D.,sterling professor of psychology and director, Yale Bush Center inChild Development and Social Policy)

"Here, at last, is an intelligent, well-researched and provocative,yet also comforting and reassuring book of advice. For parents whoare trying to raise emotionally healthy children in a raciallypolarized world, Marguerite Wright has performed a timely andtremAndous public service." (Clarence E. Page, syndicatedcolumnist, The Chicago Tribune)

"As I read Dr. Wright's book, I was reminded of what it's like topeel an onion. Layer after layer, the book uncovers the complexissues surrounding race and children. With wisdom and compassion,she explains how black and biracial children perceive color andrace. But, most importantly, she gives us guidelines we need toraise healthy and happy children in our race conscious world. Anexcellent primer for parents, teachers, counselors, and anyone whois concerned with the future of our children." (Belva Davis,reporter, KRON-TV, San Francisco)

"In her book, Marguarite Wright uses a wealth of examples from herwork with children and families and offers a creative array ofsuggestions and strategies for raising health black and biracialchildren. This book is a much-needed guide for rearing children ina society that is all too conscious about race." (Tony Paap,president and CEO, Children's Hospital Oakland)

"Finally, a practical and intelligent discussion of a complex issuethat is so frequently misunderstood. All those who want to raisehealthy children who have a positive sense of themselves can gainvaluable lessons from this book." (Pedro Noguera, professor ofeducation, University of California, Berkeley)

"This is simply the best book I've ever read on raising or teachingminority children. It's short . . . filled with memorableobservations and useful advice." (Joe Morris, professor anddirector, School of Psychology, California State University,Northridge) MARGUERITE WRIGHT is the senior clinical and research psychologist for the Center for the Vulnerable Child at Children's Hospital in Oakland, California. Wright lives with her husband and four children in Berkeley, California. Myth: Black and biracial children dislike their race from the time they are preschoolers.Reality: Young black and biracial children are unable to understand racial prejudice. In fact, developmentally they are incapable of understanding the concept of race. A child's concept of race is quite different from that of an adult. Young children perceive skin color as magical?even changeable?and unlike adults, are incapable of understanding the mature concepts surrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they likewise come to understand race in a series of predictable stages. Based on Dr. Marguerite A. Wright's research and clinical experience working as a child psychologist, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindness of early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order to guide the positive development of a child's self-esteem.I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla is filled with practical, positive, and creative ideas for handling common situations such as what to do when your child says she wants a white doll; how to deal with relatives and friAnds who compare your children's skin colors and hair textures; and how to discipline your children so that they can grow up with self respect. Teachers will gain valuable insights about how preconceptions can contribute to a child's success or failure and how to handle discipline problems in the classroom. Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and race including

• What do children know and understand about the color of their skin?
• When do children understand the concept of race?
• Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affected by racial prejudice?
• How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negative perceptions and prejudices?
• What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome the racism they are likely to encounter?
• How can schools lessen the impact of racism?With wisdom an

Myth: Black and biracial children dislike their race from the time they are preschoolers.

Reality: Young black and biracial children are unable to understand racial prejudice. In fact, developmentally they are incapable of understanding the concept of race.

A child?s concept of race is quite different from that of an adult. Young children perceive skin color as magical?even changeable?and unlike adults, are incapable of understanding the mature concepts surrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they likewise come to understand race in a series of predictable stages.

Based on Dr. Marguerite A. Wright?s research and clinical experience working as a child psychologist, I?m Chocolate, You?re Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindness of early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order to guide the positive development of a child?s self-esteem.

I?m Chocolate, You?re Vanilla is filled with practical, positive, and creative ideas for handling common situations such as what to do when your child says she wants a white doll; how to deal with relatives and friends who compare your children?s skin colors and hair textures; and how to discipline your children so that they can grow up with self respect. Teachers will gain valuable insights about how preconceptions can contribute to a child?s success or failure and how to handle discipline problems in the classroom.

Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and race including

• What do children know and understand about the color of their skin?
  
• When do children understand the concept of race?
  
• Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affected by racial prejudice?
  
• How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negative perceptions and prejudices?
  
• What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome the racism they are likely to encounter?
  
• How can schools lessen the impact of racism?

With wisdom and compassion, I?m Chocolate, You?re Vanilla spells out how to educate black and biracial children about race, while preserving their innate resilience and optimism?the birthright of all children.

The Definitive Guide to Teaching Black and Biracial Children About Race

I?m Chocolate, You?re Vanilla teaches parents and educators of black and biracial children how to reduce racism?s impact on a child?s development? from preschool through adolescence? and in doing so raise emotionally healthy children.

Paperback copy

[Back cover head] The Definitive Guide to Teaching Black and Biracial Children About Race

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches parents and educators of black and biracial children how to reduce racism's impact on a child's development-from preschool through adolescence-and in doing so to raise emotionally healthy children.

"This superb, rational, and highly readable volume answers a deeply felt need. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummate clarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensable guide that will doubtless prove a classic."
—Edward Zigler, Sterling Professor of Psychology and director, Yale University Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy

"Here at last is an intelligent, well-researched, and provocative, yet also comforting and reassuring book of advice. For parents who are trying to raise emotionally healthy children in a radically polarized world, Marguerite Wright has performed a timely and tremendous public service."
—Clarence E. Page, syndicated columnist, The Chicago Tribune

"This is simply the best book I've ever read on raising or teaching minority children. It's short . . . filled with memorable observations and useful advice."
—Joe Morris, professor and director, School of Psychology, California State University, Northridge

"Finally, a practical and intelligent discussion of a complex issue that is so frequently misunderstood. All those who want to raise healthy children who have a positive sense of themselves can gain valuable lessons from this book."
—Pedro Noguera, professor of education, University of California, Berkeley

"I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla should be required reading for teachers who want to foster a positive atmosphere of racial relations for their students, teachers, and administrators."—Valerie Rivers, mentor and kindergarten teacher, Palmetto Elementary School, Fontana, CA

Marguerite A. Wright, Ed.D., is the senior clinical and research psychologist for the Center for the Vulnerable Child at Children's Hospital in Oakland, California. Wright lives with her husband and four children in Berkeley, California.

"Just as Jean Piaget's work is a good window into the stages of cognitive development, what Dr. Wright has to say in I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla is an equally important tool for understanding how the stages of race awareness develop in children."
—Bob Whitlow, principal, Aurora School, Oakland, CA