How We Learn to Be Brave
by Avery
An inspirational guide to the key junctures in life that, if navigated with faith and discernment, pave the way for us to become our most courageous selves, by the bishop of the famed Episcopal Diocese of Washington, D.C.
The decisive moments in life are those pivot points when we’re called on to push past our fears and act with strength. With How We Learn to Be Brave, Bishop Mariann Budde teaches us to respond with clarity and grace even in the toughest times. Being brave is not a singular occurrence; it’s a journey that we can choose to undertake every day.
Here, Bishop Budde explores the full range of decisive moments, from the most visible and dramatic (the decision to go), to the internal and personal (the decision to stay), to brave choices made with an eye toward the future (the decision to start), those born of suffering (the decision to accept that which we did not choose), and those that come unexpectedly (the decision to step up to the plate). Drawing on examples ranging from Harry Potter to the Gospel According to Luke, she seamlessly weaves together personal experiences with stories from scripture, history, and pop culture to underscore both the universality of these moments and the particular call each one of us must heed when they arrive.
With Bishop Budde’s wisdom, readers will learn to live and to respond according to their true beliefs and in ways that align with their best selves. How We Learn to Be Brave will provide much-needed fortitude and insight to anyone searching for answers in uncertain times."With clarity, conviction, and a sure sense of the perils and the possibilities of the human condition, Bishop Mariann Budde has given us a great gift: A book that explores how God's children can stand up for the principles of His kingdom in a frail and fallen world. Courage, it has been said, is the most important virtue since it guarantees all the others, and Bishop Budde's searching account of her struggle to be brave is itself an act to be admired and absorbed."—Jon Meacham, author of The Soul of America and And There Was Light
"In sharing her story and that of others who have faced real challenges with ‘grit and grace,’ my good friend and fellow bishop Mariann Budde reminds us that extraordinary courage is possible for ordinary people. To help us she offers both the faith and the tools that make such courage possible for us."—The Most Rev. Michael B. Curry, Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church and author of Love is the Way and The Power of Love
"It is easy to forget the simple, important dynamics of courageous leadership and living. Bishop Budde has given us all a thoughtful reminder."—Steve Leder, New York Times bestselling author of For You When I Am Gone
“'Hope,' St. Augustine said, 'has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.' In her timely book, Bishop Budde offers hard-learned, excellent guidelines for helping not just individuals but congregations and communities learn about bravery and courage, especially in times of polarization and transition."—The Rev. Dr. Nancy Jo Kemper, Executive Director (1991-2009), Kentucky Council of Churches; Interim Senior Minister, First Christian Church, Paris, Kentucky
"Few people are willing to step into those decisive moments when their voices are needed most. I have always known that my friend and Bishop, Mariann Budde, is one of those few. Indeed, this book represents another of those moments for Bishop Budde. In it she shares her very human struggle to find the bravery and courage required to step into life’s decisive moments. She does this so to inspire others to find their own. This book is itself a gift of brave and courageous leadership."—Kelly Brown Douglas, author of Resurrection Hope: A Future Where Black Lives Matter
"Using the metaphor of 'stepping up to the plate' and the myriad of choices one confronts, Budde weaves themes of family life, scripture, and service into a journey of bravery that you do not want to miss. Get on board for a captivating excursion through a carefully woven tapestry of ideas, prayers, meditations, and suggestions for courageous action."—Edward W Beal, MD, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry. Georgetown University School of Medicine, Author of War Stories From the Forgotten Soldiers
"Written with resolute purpose and vitality, this marvelous book illumines the dialectical dilemma facing those who see themselves as being both in the world, but not of the world, as well as both 'children of light' and 'children of darkness.' It challenges our moral complacency in a self-obsessed secular society."—Eric L. Motley, PhD, former Executive Vice President, The Aspen Institute
"Our world is a fragile, perilously fractious place. Each of us can contribute decisively to making it a good and noble place. My friend and colleague Bishop Mariann Budde readily admits that this takes courage. By sharing with us the very realistic trials and challenges of being brave, Mariann also points us along the path of growing in one of the most crucial virtues of our day. My friend Mariann inspires me. And her book will inspire you to stand up for the right and the true when it really counts."—Jake Owensby, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Western Louisiana; Chancellor of the University of the South; author of Looking for God in Messy Places
"Bishop Mariann Budde is one of the clarion voices of our time. In How We Learn to Be Brave, she shows that we all have courage to be great within us. Using vulnerability, deep insight, and enlightened spirituality, Bishop Budde invites us all to turn our decisive decisions into moments of profound meaning. This book will change many lives."—Bruce Feiler, New York Times bestselling author of Life Is in the Transitions and Walking the Bible
"Bishop Budde invites us to look again at some of life’s most important decision points with the warmth of a friend and the clarity of a sage. In the complexity and velocity that is life and leadership this offering will anchor and sustain the individual and organization."—The Rt. Rev. Robert C. Wright Bishop of Atlanta
"This book is truly an invitation to discover how we learn to be brave over a lifetime, not just in situations that require courageous decisions in the moment. Mariann Edgar Budde speaks with honesty about the challenges of our time and the problems we face in an ever-deepening national divide. She fills us with hope and strength as she turns our hearts and minds away from despair with stories of time, tradition, and personal experience. Budde lights the path for what it means to embody courage in each and every moment. And she faithfully reminds us who we are along the way."—Beth Graybill, Collaborative Storyteller, Teacher & Conscious Consultant in South Bend, Indiana
"I first met Bishop Mariann more than five years ago. I love connecting with new ministry leaders who share the same mission that I am on. As you'll soon read in this book, though, we don't necessarily agree on every aspect of theology, ministry philosophy and some of the cultural issues of our day. However, that's exactly what I need in my life. I need people who push my thinking. I need people who challenge me to see the world around me from a different perspective. In her uniquely humble way, Bishop Mariann does that for me. It's one of the reasons I respect her so much. I know she wants the best for me even when she disagrees with me. This has been my experience when I open my heart and mind to different perspectives. Not only does it help me discover new wisdom, it also helps to reinforce my personal convictions. I've learned that understanding and embracing our convictions points us to our purpose in this world. Our calling is revealed. It's around those convictions and that calling that we often discover where we need to be brave. If you are a person of influence, you need to read How We Learn to Be Brave."--Tony Morgan, Founder & Lead Strategist of The Unstuck Group and author of The Unstuck Church
“Bishop Mariann gives powerful voice to a courage that comes not from headline-grabbing moments but from the daily commitment to persevere in faithfulness. In breaking open her own journey of doubt and decision, she provides a roadmap for a leadership rooted in humility, introspection, and selfless determination, all of which our world so desperately needs.” --Dr. Michael E. Hill, President, Chautauqua Institution
"From page one, you're given instant VIP access to the private thoughts of a public figure and spiritual leader who is active on the history making frontlines affecting generations. Equal parts personal memoir, letter to a friend, motivating sermon, and collection of short stories, How We Learn To Be Brave is easy and enjoyable to read. It's Bishop Mariann Budde's uncensored honesty that lifts our spirit. At every turn, we learn being brave is found in one of us and all of us at the same time. Mariann says, "Hearing another person's courageous journey, we can't help but consider our own." I feel that, and you will, too, in the best way."—Kem Meyer, Communications Consultant and author of Less Chaos. Less NoiseMariann Edgar Budde is the bishop and spiritual leader of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, D.C., and the Washington National Cathedral. Prior to her election in 2011, she was a parish priest in Minneapolis for eighteen years. She has appeared on PBS NewsHour, Meet the Press, Good Morning America, and the Today show, among others. Bishop Budde earned her master’s in divinity and doctor of ministry from Virginia Theological Seminary.We all want to be brave when it counts-to be the one who steps up, leans in, and does the right thing when it matters most. We want to bring our best selves when we're called upon, to speak with clarity and conviction in a pivotal situation.
This book is about those decisive moments when we are called to act with courage and, much to our own amazement, we do.
Although the more dramatic moments seem to catch us by surprise, looking through the wider lens of our lives, we can see that the acts of bravery that astonish even us are not isolated events. In this book, I examine life through that wider lens in hope that you, reader, will realize that you have all the raw material you need to live with courage and purpose in your decisive moments, and all the moments that precede and follow them.
Decisive moments are marking events. They stand out in our memory and are what others often remember about us. We feel a rush of adrenaline, making us acutely aware of what's happening. We feel alive-so much so that the rest of our lives can feel dull and uninspired by comparison. Yet decisive moments are almost always preceded by seasons of preparation, and they are followed by an equally important season of alignment, in which we learn to live according to what the decisive moments revealed, clarified, or set in motion. How we prepare for decisive moments determines our ability to step up to them when they come, and how we live in light of our decisive moments is, in the end, what determines their significance.
There have been many decisive moments in my life, but few as public as what happened on June 1, 2020. To be honest, I didn't have time to think. Urged on by horrified church colleagues who were watching the president walk to St. John's Church on live television and lighting up my phone with texts, I managed to find my voice and speak.
The president's actions touched a societal nerve, as did my speaking out against them. It seemed to others that I was being very brave. In truth, it felt more like being summoned to take my place alongside others who were being brave. Something had to be said, not just about that presidential moment, but the moment we were in as a nation, mourning the murder of George Floyd, watching crowds pour into the streets in cities across the nation, and facing yet again the need for racial reckoning. Because of my position, I had an opportunity to speak and be heard.
The capacity to respond in such a moment doesn't drop from the sky, nor is its significance measured by a week's worth of media coverage. Moments like these are preceded by seasons of preparation, practice, and intention, of making countless daily decisions that determine our capacity to be brave when called upon or when we're summoned not of our own choosing. Its ultimate significance is determined by how we live after the moment passes.
The more personally decisive moment for me in that dramatic week took place a few days after President Trump's infamous photo-op. I was back on what is now called Black Lives Matter Plaza in front of St. John's Church, listening to the words of the Reverend Dr. William J. Barber II. Bishop Barber is cochair of the Poor People's Campaign, a broad-based effort to mobilize low-income people of all races and their allies to create a more just society. Bishop Barber looked out on the wonderfully multiracial, intergenerational crowd gathered that Sunday afternoon and said, "Do not let anyone tell you that this is the first time people of different races, classes, and educational backgrounds have come together to fight for a common cause. It has always been such a coalition of the faithful that has brought about change in this country-Black, white, and brown; rich and poor; young and old. Everyone is needed; everyone has a part to play and an offering to make."
As he spoke, the weight I had been carrying all week fall fell off my shoulders, and in that moment, I knew my place in the larger struggle for justice. I heard myself say to God and to the universe, "I want to be among the coalition of the faithful. I want to be among those working for the change we need now." That's the decision with which I need to align my life every day. It wasn't a new thought for me, but I felt it in a new way. It won't always burn in my heart the way it did that week, but I don't want to forget it. Like everyone else, I need grace, courage, and perseverance to be true to my decisive moment after the passion fades.
As decisive as that week was for many of us as Americans, and a marking series of events for us as a nation, it would be a mistake to conclude that all decisive moments are as public. Indeed, most of the defining moments of life never make the news cycle. It's critically important not to become accustomed to the spotlight of an audience in such moments and confuse the short-lived attention of others for the kind of change our decisive moments invite us to embrace. Most decisive moments are personal, some are private, yet all are the moments that shape our lives and make us the people we are and who God calls us to become.
Decisive moments involve conscious choice, impressing their importance upon us as we experience them, for we know that we're choosing a specific path of potential consequence. In a decisive moment, no matter how we got there, we no longer see ourselves as being acted upon by the slings and arrows of fortune or fate, but as ones with agency. We're not on autopilot; we're not half-engaged. We are, as they say, all in, shapers of our destiny, and cocreators with God. For as the word itself suggests, in a decisive moment, we decide.
This book explores a range of decisive moments that we experience in life to better understand their significance, learn what they have to teach us, and discern how to live according to the light they provide. As a person of faith, I see God at work in these moments and every moment that precedes and follows. Drawing upon examples from my own life, from scripture, and from history and culture, I hope to underscore both the universality of these experiences and the particular call to which each one of us must respond when our decisive moments come.
I am convinced that we all have the capacity to live within a narrative of great adventure, no matter our life circumstances. The courage to be brave when it matters most requires a lifetime of small decisions that set us on a path of self-awareness, attentiveness, and willingness to risk failure for what we believe is right. It is also a profoundly spiritual experience, one in which we feel a part of something larger than ourselves and guided, somehow, by a larger Spirit at work in the world and in us. Decisive moments make believers out of everyone, for no matter what name we give to it, the inexplicable, unmerited experience of a power greater than our own working through us is real. The audacious truth is that we matter in the realization of all that is good and noble and true. I want to expand our notion of what constitutes a decisive moment, for they come in many forms and require a wide range of decisions, equally decisive yet different in their energy and outcome.
In these pages, I also pay homage to the long stretches of life when nothing decisive seems to be happening and explore what happens after a decisive moment, as we live out the implications of decisions that set us on a particular course. This includes acceptance of the entirely predictable and emotionally unsettling experience of emptiness when the decisive moment passes. This is when we learn to place the intensity of a given moment within the arc of a lifetime and trust that most of life is lived in smaller acts of faithfulness. Only then can we cultivate the hidden virtue of perseverance to keep going when the going is hard.
Every moment in life is in some way decisive, part of the one life we are given to live. Recognizing life's ebb and flow helps us prepare for those moments when something important is on the line. "For everything there is a season," scripture teaches us, "and a time for every matter under heaven." It takes courage to accept and fully live the lives we have been given.
In the first chapter I explore what is arguably the most dramatic and visible decisive moment, when we decide to go, to leave one place or way of being ourselves and move toward another. This is the stuff of heroic journey and self-differentiation. In Chapter Two, I move to the opposite end of the experiential spectrum to explore the equally heroic yet unnoticed moment when we decide to stay, when we choose to go deeper into the commitments we've made. Chapter Three's focus is when we decide to start a long process or journey toward a vision that will take years to accomplish. Whatever vision we've been given drives us to start, to take the first steps, and it helps keep us going toward the realization of a dream.
In Chapter Four, I turn to the decisive moments born of suffering, when we decide to accept what we did not choose and experience personal transformation through sacrificial love. Chapter Five explores the moments that come seemingly unannounced as an opportunity or summons and we decide to step up to the plate, whether we feel prepared for that moment or not. Chapters Six and Seven take up the emotional terrain that surrounds our decisive moments: the inevitable letdown that follows and the importance of perseverance. Indeed, without perseverance, our decisive moments would have little transformative power.
Some of our decisive moments require action; others, acceptance. Some are dramatic and there for all the world to see; others are internal, known only to the self and to God. Ultimately, what I want to communicate in these pages is that heroic possibilities lie within each of us; that the inexplicable, unmerited experience of God's power working through us is real; and that we matter in the realization of all that is good and noble and true. We can learn to be brave.
The decisive moments in life are those pivot points when we’re called on to push past our fears and act with strength. With How We Learn to Be Brave, Bishop Mariann Budde teaches us to respond with clarity and grace even in the toughest times. Being brave is not a singular occurrence; it’s a journey that we can choose to undertake every day.
Here, Bishop Budde explores the full range of decisive moments, from the most visible and dramatic (the decision to go), to the internal and personal (the decision to stay), to brave choices made with an eye toward the future (the decision to start), those born of suffering (the decision to accept that which we did not choose), and those that come unexpectedly (the decision to step up to the plate). Drawing on examples ranging from Harry Potter to the Gospel According to Luke, she seamlessly weaves together personal experiences with stories from scripture, history, and pop culture to underscore both the universality of these moments and the particular call each one of us must heed when they arrive.
With Bishop Budde’s wisdom, readers will learn to live and to respond according to their true beliefs and in ways that align with their best selves. How We Learn to Be Brave will provide much-needed fortitude and insight to anyone searching for answers in uncertain times."With clarity, conviction, and a sure sense of the perils and the possibilities of the human condition, Bishop Mariann Budde has given us a great gift: A book that explores how God's children can stand up for the principles of His kingdom in a frail and fallen world. Courage, it has been said, is the most important virtue since it guarantees all the others, and Bishop Budde's searching account of her struggle to be brave is itself an act to be admired and absorbed."—Jon Meacham, author of The Soul of America and And There Was Light
"In sharing her story and that of others who have faced real challenges with ‘grit and grace,’ my good friend and fellow bishop Mariann Budde reminds us that extraordinary courage is possible for ordinary people. To help us she offers both the faith and the tools that make such courage possible for us."—The Most Rev. Michael B. Curry, Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church and author of Love is the Way and The Power of Love
"It is easy to forget the simple, important dynamics of courageous leadership and living. Bishop Budde has given us all a thoughtful reminder."—Steve Leder, New York Times bestselling author of For You When I Am Gone
“'Hope,' St. Augustine said, 'has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.' In her timely book, Bishop Budde offers hard-learned, excellent guidelines for helping not just individuals but congregations and communities learn about bravery and courage, especially in times of polarization and transition."—The Rev. Dr. Nancy Jo Kemper, Executive Director (1991-2009), Kentucky Council of Churches; Interim Senior Minister, First Christian Church, Paris, Kentucky
"Few people are willing to step into those decisive moments when their voices are needed most. I have always known that my friend and Bishop, Mariann Budde, is one of those few. Indeed, this book represents another of those moments for Bishop Budde. In it she shares her very human struggle to find the bravery and courage required to step into life’s decisive moments. She does this so to inspire others to find their own. This book is itself a gift of brave and courageous leadership."—Kelly Brown Douglas, author of Resurrection Hope: A Future Where Black Lives Matter
"Using the metaphor of 'stepping up to the plate' and the myriad of choices one confronts, Budde weaves themes of family life, scripture, and service into a journey of bravery that you do not want to miss. Get on board for a captivating excursion through a carefully woven tapestry of ideas, prayers, meditations, and suggestions for courageous action."—Edward W Beal, MD, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry. Georgetown University School of Medicine, Author of War Stories From the Forgotten Soldiers
"Written with resolute purpose and vitality, this marvelous book illumines the dialectical dilemma facing those who see themselves as being both in the world, but not of the world, as well as both 'children of light' and 'children of darkness.' It challenges our moral complacency in a self-obsessed secular society."—Eric L. Motley, PhD, former Executive Vice President, The Aspen Institute
"Our world is a fragile, perilously fractious place. Each of us can contribute decisively to making it a good and noble place. My friend and colleague Bishop Mariann Budde readily admits that this takes courage. By sharing with us the very realistic trials and challenges of being brave, Mariann also points us along the path of growing in one of the most crucial virtues of our day. My friend Mariann inspires me. And her book will inspire you to stand up for the right and the true when it really counts."—Jake Owensby, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Western Louisiana; Chancellor of the University of the South; author of Looking for God in Messy Places
"Bishop Mariann Budde is one of the clarion voices of our time. In How We Learn to Be Brave, she shows that we all have courage to be great within us. Using vulnerability, deep insight, and enlightened spirituality, Bishop Budde invites us all to turn our decisive decisions into moments of profound meaning. This book will change many lives."—Bruce Feiler, New York Times bestselling author of Life Is in the Transitions and Walking the Bible
"Bishop Budde invites us to look again at some of life’s most important decision points with the warmth of a friend and the clarity of a sage. In the complexity and velocity that is life and leadership this offering will anchor and sustain the individual and organization."—The Rt. Rev. Robert C. Wright Bishop of Atlanta
"This book is truly an invitation to discover how we learn to be brave over a lifetime, not just in situations that require courageous decisions in the moment. Mariann Edgar Budde speaks with honesty about the challenges of our time and the problems we face in an ever-deepening national divide. She fills us with hope and strength as she turns our hearts and minds away from despair with stories of time, tradition, and personal experience. Budde lights the path for what it means to embody courage in each and every moment. And she faithfully reminds us who we are along the way."—Beth Graybill, Collaborative Storyteller, Teacher & Conscious Consultant in South Bend, Indiana
"I first met Bishop Mariann more than five years ago. I love connecting with new ministry leaders who share the same mission that I am on. As you'll soon read in this book, though, we don't necessarily agree on every aspect of theology, ministry philosophy and some of the cultural issues of our day. However, that's exactly what I need in my life. I need people who push my thinking. I need people who challenge me to see the world around me from a different perspective. In her uniquely humble way, Bishop Mariann does that for me. It's one of the reasons I respect her so much. I know she wants the best for me even when she disagrees with me. This has been my experience when I open my heart and mind to different perspectives. Not only does it help me discover new wisdom, it also helps to reinforce my personal convictions. I've learned that understanding and embracing our convictions points us to our purpose in this world. Our calling is revealed. It's around those convictions and that calling that we often discover where we need to be brave. If you are a person of influence, you need to read How We Learn to Be Brave."--Tony Morgan, Founder & Lead Strategist of The Unstuck Group and author of The Unstuck Church
“Bishop Mariann gives powerful voice to a courage that comes not from headline-grabbing moments but from the daily commitment to persevere in faithfulness. In breaking open her own journey of doubt and decision, she provides a roadmap for a leadership rooted in humility, introspection, and selfless determination, all of which our world so desperately needs.” --Dr. Michael E. Hill, President, Chautauqua Institution
"From page one, you're given instant VIP access to the private thoughts of a public figure and spiritual leader who is active on the history making frontlines affecting generations. Equal parts personal memoir, letter to a friend, motivating sermon, and collection of short stories, How We Learn To Be Brave is easy and enjoyable to read. It's Bishop Mariann Budde's uncensored honesty that lifts our spirit. At every turn, we learn being brave is found in one of us and all of us at the same time. Mariann says, "Hearing another person's courageous journey, we can't help but consider our own." I feel that, and you will, too, in the best way."—Kem Meyer, Communications Consultant and author of Less Chaos. Less NoiseMariann Edgar Budde is the bishop and spiritual leader of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, D.C., and the Washington National Cathedral. Prior to her election in 2011, she was a parish priest in Minneapolis for eighteen years. She has appeared on PBS NewsHour, Meet the Press, Good Morning America, and the Today show, among others. Bishop Budde earned her master’s in divinity and doctor of ministry from Virginia Theological Seminary.We all want to be brave when it counts-to be the one who steps up, leans in, and does the right thing when it matters most. We want to bring our best selves when we're called upon, to speak with clarity and conviction in a pivotal situation.
This book is about those decisive moments when we are called to act with courage and, much to our own amazement, we do.
Although the more dramatic moments seem to catch us by surprise, looking through the wider lens of our lives, we can see that the acts of bravery that astonish even us are not isolated events. In this book, I examine life through that wider lens in hope that you, reader, will realize that you have all the raw material you need to live with courage and purpose in your decisive moments, and all the moments that precede and follow them.
Decisive moments are marking events. They stand out in our memory and are what others often remember about us. We feel a rush of adrenaline, making us acutely aware of what's happening. We feel alive-so much so that the rest of our lives can feel dull and uninspired by comparison. Yet decisive moments are almost always preceded by seasons of preparation, and they are followed by an equally important season of alignment, in which we learn to live according to what the decisive moments revealed, clarified, or set in motion. How we prepare for decisive moments determines our ability to step up to them when they come, and how we live in light of our decisive moments is, in the end, what determines their significance.
There have been many decisive moments in my life, but few as public as what happened on June 1, 2020. To be honest, I didn't have time to think. Urged on by horrified church colleagues who were watching the president walk to St. John's Church on live television and lighting up my phone with texts, I managed to find my voice and speak.
The president's actions touched a societal nerve, as did my speaking out against them. It seemed to others that I was being very brave. In truth, it felt more like being summoned to take my place alongside others who were being brave. Something had to be said, not just about that presidential moment, but the moment we were in as a nation, mourning the murder of George Floyd, watching crowds pour into the streets in cities across the nation, and facing yet again the need for racial reckoning. Because of my position, I had an opportunity to speak and be heard.
The capacity to respond in such a moment doesn't drop from the sky, nor is its significance measured by a week's worth of media coverage. Moments like these are preceded by seasons of preparation, practice, and intention, of making countless daily decisions that determine our capacity to be brave when called upon or when we're summoned not of our own choosing. Its ultimate significance is determined by how we live after the moment passes.
The more personally decisive moment for me in that dramatic week took place a few days after President Trump's infamous photo-op. I was back on what is now called Black Lives Matter Plaza in front of St. John's Church, listening to the words of the Reverend Dr. William J. Barber II. Bishop Barber is cochair of the Poor People's Campaign, a broad-based effort to mobilize low-income people of all races and their allies to create a more just society. Bishop Barber looked out on the wonderfully multiracial, intergenerational crowd gathered that Sunday afternoon and said, "Do not let anyone tell you that this is the first time people of different races, classes, and educational backgrounds have come together to fight for a common cause. It has always been such a coalition of the faithful that has brought about change in this country-Black, white, and brown; rich and poor; young and old. Everyone is needed; everyone has a part to play and an offering to make."
As he spoke, the weight I had been carrying all week fall fell off my shoulders, and in that moment, I knew my place in the larger struggle for justice. I heard myself say to God and to the universe, "I want to be among the coalition of the faithful. I want to be among those working for the change we need now." That's the decision with which I need to align my life every day. It wasn't a new thought for me, but I felt it in a new way. It won't always burn in my heart the way it did that week, but I don't want to forget it. Like everyone else, I need grace, courage, and perseverance to be true to my decisive moment after the passion fades.
As decisive as that week was for many of us as Americans, and a marking series of events for us as a nation, it would be a mistake to conclude that all decisive moments are as public. Indeed, most of the defining moments of life never make the news cycle. It's critically important not to become accustomed to the spotlight of an audience in such moments and confuse the short-lived attention of others for the kind of change our decisive moments invite us to embrace. Most decisive moments are personal, some are private, yet all are the moments that shape our lives and make us the people we are and who God calls us to become.
Decisive moments involve conscious choice, impressing their importance upon us as we experience them, for we know that we're choosing a specific path of potential consequence. In a decisive moment, no matter how we got there, we no longer see ourselves as being acted upon by the slings and arrows of fortune or fate, but as ones with agency. We're not on autopilot; we're not half-engaged. We are, as they say, all in, shapers of our destiny, and cocreators with God. For as the word itself suggests, in a decisive moment, we decide.
This book explores a range of decisive moments that we experience in life to better understand their significance, learn what they have to teach us, and discern how to live according to the light they provide. As a person of faith, I see God at work in these moments and every moment that precedes and follows. Drawing upon examples from my own life, from scripture, and from history and culture, I hope to underscore both the universality of these experiences and the particular call to which each one of us must respond when our decisive moments come.
I am convinced that we all have the capacity to live within a narrative of great adventure, no matter our life circumstances. The courage to be brave when it matters most requires a lifetime of small decisions that set us on a path of self-awareness, attentiveness, and willingness to risk failure for what we believe is right. It is also a profoundly spiritual experience, one in which we feel a part of something larger than ourselves and guided, somehow, by a larger Spirit at work in the world and in us. Decisive moments make believers out of everyone, for no matter what name we give to it, the inexplicable, unmerited experience of a power greater than our own working through us is real. The audacious truth is that we matter in the realization of all that is good and noble and true. I want to expand our notion of what constitutes a decisive moment, for they come in many forms and require a wide range of decisions, equally decisive yet different in their energy and outcome.
In these pages, I also pay homage to the long stretches of life when nothing decisive seems to be happening and explore what happens after a decisive moment, as we live out the implications of decisions that set us on a particular course. This includes acceptance of the entirely predictable and emotionally unsettling experience of emptiness when the decisive moment passes. This is when we learn to place the intensity of a given moment within the arc of a lifetime and trust that most of life is lived in smaller acts of faithfulness. Only then can we cultivate the hidden virtue of perseverance to keep going when the going is hard.
Every moment in life is in some way decisive, part of the one life we are given to live. Recognizing life's ebb and flow helps us prepare for those moments when something important is on the line. "For everything there is a season," scripture teaches us, "and a time for every matter under heaven." It takes courage to accept and fully live the lives we have been given.
In the first chapter I explore what is arguably the most dramatic and visible decisive moment, when we decide to go, to leave one place or way of being ourselves and move toward another. This is the stuff of heroic journey and self-differentiation. In Chapter Two, I move to the opposite end of the experiential spectrum to explore the equally heroic yet unnoticed moment when we decide to stay, when we choose to go deeper into the commitments we've made. Chapter Three's focus is when we decide to start a long process or journey toward a vision that will take years to accomplish. Whatever vision we've been given drives us to start, to take the first steps, and it helps keep us going toward the realization of a dream.
In Chapter Four, I turn to the decisive moments born of suffering, when we decide to accept what we did not choose and experience personal transformation through sacrificial love. Chapter Five explores the moments that come seemingly unannounced as an opportunity or summons and we decide to step up to the plate, whether we feel prepared for that moment or not. Chapters Six and Seven take up the emotional terrain that surrounds our decisive moments: the inevitable letdown that follows and the importance of perseverance. Indeed, without perseverance, our decisive moments would have little transformative power.
Some of our decisive moments require action; others, acceptance. Some are dramatic and there for all the world to see; others are internal, known only to the self and to God. Ultimately, what I want to communicate in these pages is that heroic possibilities lie within each of us; that the inexplicable, unmerited experience of God's power working through us is real; and that we matter in the realization of all that is good and noble and true. We can learn to be brave.
PUBLISHER:
Penguin Publishing Group
ISBN-10:
0593539214
ISBN-13:
9780593539217
BINDING:
Hardback
BOOK DIMENSIONS:
Dimensions: 5.7300(W) x Dimensions: 8.5400(H) x Dimensions: 0.8700(D)